WATCHING the media explode after Chris Gayles failed attempt to pick up Mel McLaughlin, I quickly realised Im on the wrong side of the feminist outrage machine again.
The tendency for people to race straight for the another example of the sexism thats rife in todays society argument at times like this bores me to tears.
Ive worked in media more than 14 years with most of my time spent at male-dominated organisations and in male-dominated shows and when things like this happen and people start claiming were all just poor victims of a system that refuses to accept us, it does nothing to help the situation.
Theres no doubt there are blokes in every industry, not just sport and media, who act like idiots to women.
Watching Chris Gayle, I didnt see a powerful bloke preying on a weak woman. I saw the classic guy whos drunk his own Kool-Aid and has the mistaken belief that he makes all women giddily nervous.
Guys like this get some ridiculous pleasure out of making a woman feel uncomfortable and its not predatory its pathetic.
Ive met a million of these blokes in my career and when I watched Mel on the receiving end of that comment, I was disappointed. Not because of what Chris Gayle said but because she missed a golden opportunity to say something back that would mean hed never make that same mistake again.
I believe a womans reaction to a situation like this is more important and effective in stamping out the behaviour than all the whinging about the patriarchy combined.
When Ive been in these situations Ive never found them belittling or demoralising. Ive found them empowering.
I used to delight in these moments because I knew the behaviour I was on the receiving end of gave me the perfect ammunition to put these idiots in their place.
I never once thought Oh no! This person thinks Im less than them. I always thought Oh wow! This person is so emotionally immature that tearing them apart is going to be easy ... and fun.
In my career Ive been propositioned, grabbed on the arse at the photocopier (some mens propensity for cliche truly knows no bounds), I even had one guy take all his clothes off in our office because I wasnt paying him any attention.
People talk about women in these situations as being victims but in all these scenarios Ive never felt more powerful because I could see these were weak, insecure, emotionally unintelligent men and putting them in their place would be an absolute cake walk.
Calling this a wider social or gender issue unfortunately doesnt do anything to change the behaviour of blokes like this. All it does is confirm their naive and antiquated suspicions that were all just silly little women who cant take a joke.
Mel said herself shes never experienced anything but respect from men on the sidelines so this was a surprise for her. Shes not making a big deal about it and has said countless times shed like to move on, but there are so many people who love getting outraged on a victims behalf regardless of whether the victim is outraged herself.
By jumping straight on the inequality bandwagon were painting a whole gender with a brush thats coloured by a minority. For the vast majority of men Ive worked with its made absolutely no difference that Im a women. For those who it did matter to, they quickly changed their minds when they realised I wasnt going to take the rubbish they were dishing out.
I shouldnt have had to earn their respect that way but the reality is that once they realised I was a worthy opponent, they looked at me differently and never tried it again.
As women, we need to stop seeing ourselves as victims and start realising how much power we have to tell blokes who try and belittle us to grow the hell up.
