When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Darius Boyd.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Darius .
Darius is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Darius is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
There is no chin behind Darius beard. There is only another fist.
Darius Boyd hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Darius Boyd can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Darius Boyd doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Darius Darius can slam a revolving door.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Dariustatorship.
When Darius Boyd calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Darius Boyd once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Darius Boyd likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
There are no races, only countries of people Darius Boyd has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
When Darius Boyd was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Darius Boyd can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
A Darius Boyd-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
When Darius Boyd falls in water, Darius Boyd doesn't get wet. Water gets Darius Boyd.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Darius Boyd Roundhouse Kick)
Darius Boyd house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
How much wood would a woodDarius Darius if a woodDarius could Darius Boyd? ...All of it.
Darius Boyd doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Darius Boyd, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Dariussized.
Darius Boyd CAN believe it's not butter.
If tapped, a Darius Boyd roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Darius Boyd can divide by zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Darius Boyd has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Darius Boyd is worth 1 billion words.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Darius Boyd roundhouse kick.
Darius Boyd invented his own type of karate. It's called Darius-Will-Kill.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Darius Boyd just to be on the safe side.
While urinating, Darius Boyd is easily capable of welding titanium.
Darius Boyd once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Darius Boyd talks, everybody listens. And dies.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Darius Boyd kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Darius Boyd to go around.
Darius Boyd doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Darius Boyd is Darius Boyd.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Darius Boyd, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Darius Boyd always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
When taking the SAT, write "Darius Boyd" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Darius Boyd invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you're Darius Boyd, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Darius Boyd has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
On his birthday, Darius Boyd randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Darius Boyd.
Darius Boyd doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Darius Boyd throws down!
In the beginning there was nothing...then Darius Boyd Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Darius Boyd has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Darius Boyd grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Darius Boyd"
Darius Boyd ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Darius Boyd and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
If you Google search "Darius Boyd getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Darius Boyd can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Little known medical fact: Darius Boyd invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Darius Boyd doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Darius Boyd. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
It takes Darius Boyd 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Darius Boyd will find you and kill you.
Darius Boyd has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Darius Boyd Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Darius Boyd lives in Oklahoma.
Darius Boyd doesn't believe in Germany.
When Darius Boyd is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
Darius Boyd once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
James Cameron wanted Darius Boyd to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Darius Boyd can touch MC Hammer.
Thousands of years ago Darius Boyd came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
Darius Boyd played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
It takes 14 puppeteers to make Darius Boyd smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
