Funniest Simpsons lines ever

[Stranger]

Ralph: Whats a battle?

 

[DJ Raida]

"Did that boy say what's a battle?"
Skinner tells Chalmers that Ralph said "What's that rattle?", refering to the heating ducts.
He says he hears R's as B's, even though Chalmers is the one who heard it.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Stranger]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Homer: Hey this is my favourite song " Its raining men halelilua its raining men"

 

[Stranger]

Heres one of my favourites

Homer: I was watching a movie about a bus that couldnt slow down past 50 or it would blow up...... i think it was called the bus that couldnt slow down

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[DJ Raida]

stranger- it goes

i saw it on a movie, about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed above 50 and if the speed dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, the bus that couldnt slow down

 

[Stranger]

:lol: wasnt exactly sure been a while since i seen that eppisode

 

[choc_soldier]

Grandpa: I'm going to the outhouse
Lisa: We don't have an outhouse
Homer: My toolshed!

 

[Feez_Giggles]

I love when Marge and that other lady do the thelma and louise thing and chief wiggum is like "its time for some car chase music" then it breaks into

"sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and happy things"

omg i can't remember how the song goes - does anyone know?

 

[Choppies]

does anyone else here the characters voices in their heads when they read these?? it makes it so much funnier

its like watching tv in my brain

I see the whole sequence in my head.

my fav is from the episode where Bleeding Gums Murphy dies.
Homer consoling a crying Lisa.
Homer: Remember when your cat Snowball died, remember Honey. What Im saying is, all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new Jazz man!!!!

 

[Feez_Giggles]

:lol: :lol:

same - i've seen all the epidosdes so many times i can just play it in my mind

i love when bart has stampy and they go to the elephant farm and the guide is talking about elephants head butting each other as a sign of affection or something and it pans down homer is head butting him and he is like 'and some people are just ignorant' thats so funny.

 

[Dr Crane]

Bob: Rakes, my old arch enemy

Bart: I thought i was your arch enemy

Bob: I have a life outside of you Bart

 

[Choppies]

and in Maggies Birthday episode

the family except Marge are sitting around a TV watching Krusty and see Sideshow Mel getting mauled by Monkeys. Maggie is sitting on Homers Knee

Homer: heh heh heh Maggine can you point to the monkey?
*Maggie points at Homer*
Homer: Pfft what do babies know
Lisa: Maggie can you point to the quedenza?
*Maggie points to the quedenza*
Homer: D'oh

Marge calls from kitchen: Homer you didnt do a good job frosting Maggies Birthday cake

Homer comes in and we see the cake it says Happy birthday Magaggie
Homer:what its for Maggagies birthday
*starts picking letters off the cake *
Marge: Hey hey stop I made a special cake for you to ruin its over there
*she points to a mess of a cake*
*Homer starts picking that cake*
*doorbell rings Marge answers. Patty and Selma and her mother are at the door*
Patty: Hello everyone except Homer

 

[Choppies]

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."

 

[Dr Crane]

Bob: Hello Barrrt

Bart: Oh, hey Bob

Bob: What? Why aren't you scared of me?

Bart: Because every time we tangle i come out on top. I'm 6-0.

 

[Choppies]

Homer: How is "education" supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Marge: Thats because you were drunk!

Homer: And how

 

[Choppies]

Marge: I always told you you kids would send your father to the crazy house!
Bart: No, mom, you said poor house.

Marge: I said crazy house!

Bart: Poor house.

Marge: Crazy house!

Bart: Poor house.

Marge: CRAZY HOUSE!

 

[Feez_Giggles]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Choppies]

TV person: We interrupt this cartoon for a special report.

Homer: Someone found my keys!

Kent Brockman: Kent Brockman of the Action News Desk. A massive tank has run aground on the central coastline spilling millions of gallons of oil on Baby Seal Beach.

Lisa: Oh, no!

Homer: It'll be okay, honey. There's lots more oil where that came from.

 

[Choppies]

after Bart wrecks one of the Burleasques houses gargoyles

Belle: Are you wearing a grocery bag?
Homer: I have misplaced my pants.

Homer: Aw, I don't want to punish you...What does Marge usually do?
Bart: She makes me taste beer.

Homer:...Come on, boy, give your old man a little credit. *food falls out of the bag* Yeah, well, I still get to punish you!

 

[Choppies]

News Guy: It's eleven o'clock: do you know where your children are?

Homer: I told you last night, NO!

Homer: Where is Bart anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten.