Rd1: 405pm Parra v Storm GAME DAY THREAD in Melbourne 9/3/25

[Poupou Escobar]

They have Brian Too. Maybe one of the best ever.

Yeah and not tall

 

[Chipmunk]

Some of these are quite funny

Post Game Grades - Round 1 vs Storm

The Cumberland Throw's patented, award winning post game grades for the Parramatta Eels' round 1 2024 clash with the Melbourne Storm.

thecumberlandthrow.com

 

[Pazza]

Kid is going to be a star I reckon......and he has only played 1 NSW cup game

Looked good to me

Lazy in defence apparently

 

[lucablight]

Maybe it’s time to accept Dylan Brown for who he is instead of wishing him to be something he’s not.

 

[King-Gutho94]

Just checked my emails.
No apology from the club.
They should. I'm a paying customer.
I haven't checked spam/junk yet. Wouldn't be surprised if in the junk folder to mirror the teams performance.
Parramatta....club which never fails to disappoint.
Sad reality is that I'm in 2 minds to go to the Tigers game where we will be outnumbered and looks like it's going to be 36 degrees

I recall the last time our first 2 games of the year were 30+ degree Sunday arvo games it didn't end well.

 

[King-Gutho94]

Some of these are quite funny

Post Game Grades - Round 1 vs Storm

The Cumberland Throw's patented, award winning post game grades for the Parramatta Eels' round 1 2024 clash with the Melbourne Storm.

thecumberlandthrow.com

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I think some of the posters comments on there are even funnier.

Don't joke about what have they been doing at training otherwise it's seen as snide and condescending.

For a lot of fans who wouldn't or dont read the TCT training reports it's a pretty legitimate question tbh after watching yesterday's 1st half.

 

[Soto]

I think some of the posters comments on there are even funnier.

Don't joke about what have they been doing at training otherwise it's seen as snide and condescending.

For a lot of fans who wouldn't or dont read the TCT training reports it's a pretty legitimate question tbh after watching yesterday's 1st half.

Let's be honest they do a great job reporting on the training, however when the players smash the tackle bags they don't get back up.

 

[The Predictor]

Do you see big Sammy.....

Looks unfit

 

[Wally21]

Maybe it’s time to accept Dylan Brown for who he is instead of wishing him to be something he’s not.

Agreed. However, accepting what he is, we are paying significant overs if the consensus is correct that he is on $900K per year, with ratchet clauses. Feels like our version of luke Brooks at the Tigers

 

[Gherkin]

I like that Ryles made the call early in the game to hook Kelma (unfortunate that he had to come back on so soon after or even at all) and brought Smith on early. Over the last few years we've seemed to have a pre determined interchange plan and just stick with that regardless of the flow of the game

 

[The Predictor]

Yeah they gave up. Just went thru the motions in 2nd half. Training run and yet still matched us. That's basically where we are at. We'll improve heaps when 3 or 4 players are back. Not to the point we can beat the Storm fully fit down there. But better

We look at few seasons away

No doubt Martina told them to go out enjoy themselves, with no injuries, and here people are buoyed by us “winning “ the second half, this is Parra standards at the moment, we were nothing but absolutely embarrassing

 

[Gronk]

That was a long read. Lots of venting which is understandable. Lots of merkins looking for people to blame. Some interesting takes.

There was a lot of inexperience out there and that combined with the heat and perhaps a mindset which conceded defeat before a ball was kicked, didn’t help.

For me the 6, 7, 9 were flops in the first half. There was no energy in the spine. Volkman is a walker.

 

[Lemon Squash]

So after having had a night to think about the loss, I’ve taken a breath and prepared to give them another week. I think we will learn more about ourselves on how we back up against the Tigers then what we did yesterday.

It was a diabolical performance no mistakes about it, it really wasn’t first grade standard or acceptable whatsoever.

However realistically if you had of told me an hour before the game we were going to lose 56-18 I would have said that sounds about right.

Putting some perspective on it we had to fly to Melbourne who have never lost round 1, very inexperienced squad, 35 degree day. We were always going to be up against it.

Some of the tries Melbourne scored were just from class and would have scored against any team. Yes there was more than a few that we gifted to them also.

We are going from playing the comp favourites to the 3 time wooden spooners who weren’t great in round 1 themselves.

Big week at training, switch on and see what we can do this week. Hopefully we can get the season back on track…. I will be more disappointed if we lose by 2 points this week than losing by 40 yesterday.

Hopefully Ryley Smith pulls up okay with that lower leg injury that forced him off, he was one of the few shining lights from yesterday.

 

[Gherkin]

That was a long read. Lots of venting which is understandable. Lots of merkins looking for people to blame. Some interesting takes.

There was a lot of inexperience out there and that combined with the heat and perhaps a mindset which conceded defeat before a ball was kicked, didn’t help.

For me the 6, 7, 9 were flops in the first half. There was no energy in the spine. Volkman is a walker.

IMO it all started with Snr Paulo and Slow Mo Joe. No intensity at all

 

[Wally21]

IMO it all started with Snr Paulo and Slow Mo Joe. No intensity at all

Agreed. When three of your starting pack (I’m including Kelma) put up performances like that, it’s always going to be a terrible day. Throw in the fact that our halves, including our 2nd highest paid player didn’t take control in any way, there is more crap to come.

 

[Avenger]

Volkman was terrible. Just as bad as the space cadet. He wouldn’t be anywhere near first grade if it was up to me.

 

[Delboy]

Tago and Tualagi were extended after playing as badly as they did last year, Dunster took advantage of his PO, there are wingers in reserve grade elsewhere much better than a player that couldn’t make Riff Cup team.

What parameters does our R&R team use, what scouting resources do we have and use around the NRL , an ongoing problem for a few years and the roster has declined in depth and standard in that time.

No more fluff pieces in the mail from the CEO and HoF, we need the results a club as big as the Eels should expect and demand. This is not a reaction to this weeks debacle , the club has fallen off a cliff since the GF, asks why Manly and now the Dogs build competitive teams and that’s not mentioning the Storm.

 

[Gronk]

IMO it all started with Snr Paulo and Slow Mo Joe. No intensity at all

Yes they and all the middles got dominated. They were gang tackled coming out of their end and then held down by the wrestle.

The halves / hooker offered no shape however and the ball was going to flat footed runners. There was no talk out there.

Not easy when you have 40% possession and it's all in your half.

Hopefully some experience is available this week.

 

[Noise]

Our pack is not small and mobile, it is small and weak. Compare us to the Storm and we look like kids. Add to that our wingers are also small and weak.

 

[Delboy]

Our pack is not small and mobile, it is small and weak. Compare us to the Storm and we look like kids. Add to that our wingers are also small and weak.

Russell held his own as usual, unfortunately the Storm attacked mostly down our right once they knew who would be playing there. Didn’t expect anything different , add the poor go forward and the officials allowing the Storm to wreak havoc in the ruck with no punishment, Harry Grant almost committed assault getting off players and no penalty or even 6 again, terrible officiating.