Funniest Simpsons lines ever

[urban eel]

"I am the Angel of Death. The time of purification is at hand!"

 

[HowHigh]

"I am the Angel of Death. The time of purification is at hand!"

haha

 

[Horrie Is God]

Moe: Who's gonna knock you down?

Homer: No one!

Moe: When are you gonna fight back?

Homer: Never!

Moe: What are you gonna do?

Homer: Nothing!

Moe: That's my boy!..

 

[Rhino_NQ]

when they are building the monorail and barney is a foreman directing the train carrying a cab

"keep coming, keep coming, oh hiya homer <waves>*

CRUNCH! BANG! SMASH!

"ohhh, i hate that sound"

 

[HowHigh]

Too many lines to type, but the clown college episode..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0edCAOkdXgU

 

[Rhino_NQ]

financial panther ay?

"Sir you're credit card has been declined"

"Get him sheeba!!"

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Just saw it again and it's still my Favourite. The Simpsons have just finished a jigsaw.

Ned: "Looks like you're missing a piece".

Homer: "Looks like you're missing a wife".

And from the same episode:

"Ah, James Taylor, the popular singer/songwriter/puzzle piece".

 

[Rhino_NQ]

you don't win friends with salad

 

[IanG]

Ralph: I like men now

 

[HowHigh]

Old Woman: Found me a pineapple and its a ripe one!

Lisa: I'm not fruit! I'm a kid!

Old Woman: Thats what the pumpkin said

 

[Apey]

So "if" we get "deadlocked", we'll be "sequestered" at the Springfield Palace Hotel. Where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO. Ooh. Free Willy!

 

[dogslife]

Maybe just once, someone will call me Sir without adding "You're making a scene"

 

[Mr Fourex]

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel......

 

[Hallatia]

this is one of our many light switches, it functions in both the on and off modes. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off.

 

[Marshall_magic]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyZ7oU0tUR8

Quality is shit but it gets me every time.

 

[Big Pete]

Homer: Hello Florida
Lisa: I'm not a state, I'm a monster! *cries*
Homer: *wipes tears away* No Lisa, the only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor. And it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws! *runs to the casino*

 

[Hallatia]

you broke a promise to your daughter! ... Lisa cried, then I cried, then Maggie laughed, she's such a little trooper

 

[Apey]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyZ7oU0tUR8

Quality is shit but it gets me every time.

From one of the greatest episodes ever...

Also from Big Pete's...

http://vbox7.com/play:fc9cbbfb

 

[Horrie Is God]

Frank Grimes: (points at Homer) That's the man who's in charge of our safety? It boggles the mind!

Carl: It's best not to think about it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grimes: I'm sorry, isn't that &#8230;

Homer: Yes, that's me, and the guy standing next to me is President Gerald Ford&#8230;..And this is when I was on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins&#8230;..Oh! And here's a picture of me in outer space.

Grimes: You? Went into outer space? You?

Homer: Sure. You've never been? Would you like to see my Grammy award?..

 

[IanG]

Bret Hart to Mr Burns: Why would I want a picture of a pitterful pencil neck geek!