Greatest movie quotes

[duck_dodgers]

From ... Dusk till Dawn

Chet Pussy: All right, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got
[sniffs]
smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, pussy lovers!

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

Kaffee: You're a lousy f**king softball player, Jack!

Galloway: You get him on the stand and you get it from him!
Kaffee: We get it from him! Oh! Okay! We get it from him.
[turns to Sam as if he were Jessup on the stand]
Kaffee: Colonel Jessup, isn't it true that you ordered the Code Red on Santiago?
Lt. Weinberg: Look, we all...
Kaffee: [interrupts with game-show buzzer sound] eeehhhhh! Time's up! What do we have for the losers, judge? Well, for our defendants, it's a life time at exotic Fort Leavenworth! And, for defense counsel Kaffee, that's right, it's a court martial! Yes, Johnny! After falsely accusing a highly decorated Marine officer of conspiracy and perjury, Lieutenant Kaffee will have a long and prosperous career teaching... typewriter maintenance at the Rocco Globbo School for Women! Thank you for playing "Should we or should we not listen to the advice of the galactically stupid!"

 

[Apey]

Batman;

'You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'

Apocalypse Now;

'I love the smell of napalm in the morning.'

Long Kiss Goodnight;

'Simple. He's been licking his asshole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there is nothing there worth more than an hour's attention. I should think that whatever he is attempting to dislodge is either gone for good, or there to stay. Wouldn't you agree? '

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

[after receiving the wrong order at the drive-thru]
Leo Getz: They f**k YOU at the drive-thru, okay? They f**k YOU at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got f**ked! They know you're not gonna turn around and go back, they don't care. So who gets f**ked? Ol' Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a f**k! I'm not eating this tuna, okay?

[At the South African Consulate]
Roger Murtaugh: How you doin'?
[his handshake is ignored by the Envoy]
Consulate Envoy: I think there must be some mistake.
Roger Murtaugh: Say what?
Consulate Envoy: Listen to your friend here, he knows what he's talking about. I don't think you want to go to South Africa.
Roger Murtaugh: Why not?
Consulate Envoy: Because you're black!
Leo Getz: [to Murtaugh] You are.
[to Envoy]
Leo Getz: He is.
[after the envoys states that Murtaugh can't go to South Africa because he's black]
Roger Murtaugh: Of course I'm black. That's why I want to go to South Africa.
Roger Murtaugh: [louder and more militant] To join my oppressed brothers as they take up the struggle against this racist, fascist, White Minority Regime!
Leo Getz: Racist White Regime!
Roger Murtaugh: One man, one vote!
Leo Getz: One man, one vote!
Roger Murtaugh: [Loudly] Free South Africa you dumb son of a bitch!
Leo Getz: You dumb son of a bitch!
Consulate Envoy: That's quite enough! Get out!

 

[Red Bear]

Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet sh*t! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice right, but he springs this serious GOURMET sh*t on us! What flavor is this?
Jimmie: Knock it off, Julie.
Jules: [pause] What?
Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how f**king good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys sh*t. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead n****r in my garage.
Jules: Oh, Jimmie, don't even worry about that...
Jimmie: No, No, No, No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said Dead n****r Storage?
Jules: Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no...
Jimmie: Did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said Dead n****r Storage?
Jules: [pause] No. I didn't.
Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
Jules: Why?
Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead n****rs ain't my f**king business, that's why!
-----------------------------

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.
Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!
----------------------------------------
The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right.
------------------------------------------------------
Nicholas Angel: The swan's escaped, right... and who might you be?
P.I Staker: Mr. Staker, yeah... Mr. Peter Ian Staker.
Nicholas Angel: P.I Staker? Right! "Piss Taker!" Come on!
Nicholas Angel: [cut to Angel talking to Mr. Staker] OK, Mr. Staker...

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

Matrix: Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?
Sully: That's right, Matrix. You did.
Matrix: I lied.

Matrix: I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I'm very hungry!

Diaz: Mellow out man. We can't talk business with you waving guns in people's faces. Your daughter is safe, Colonel. Now whether she stays that way is up to you. My people, they got some business with you. And if you want your kid back, then you gotta co-operate, right?
Matrix: Wrong!
[shoots Diaz between the eyes]

Douglas Quaid: See you at the party Richter!

Douglas Quaid: Come on, Cohaagen! You got what you want. Give those people air!

[the taxicab pulls up]
Johnnycab: The fare is 18 credits please.
[Quaid gets out]
Douglas Quaid: Sue me, dickhead.

Douglas Quaid: What the hell is going on? What the f**k did I do wrong? Tell me!

Ben Richards: Killian, here's your Subzero, now plain zero.

Ben Richards: I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine!

 

[MKEB...]

MR. PINK
Let me tell ya what "Like a
Virgin"'s about. It's about some
cooze who's a regular f**k
machine.
I mean all the time, morning, day,
night, afternoon, d*ck, d*ck,
d*ck, d*ck, d*ck,
d*ck, d*ck, d*ck, d*ck, d*ck,
d*ck.
MR. BLUE
How many d*cks was that?

MR. WHITE
A lot.

MR. PINK
Then one day she meets a John
Holmes motherf***er, and it's
like, whoa baby. This mother
f***er's like Charles Bronson in
"The Great Escape." He's diggin
tunnels. Now she's gettin this
serious d*ck action, she's feelin
something she ain't felt since
forever. Pain.

JOE
Chew? Toby Chew? No.

MR. PINK
It hurts. It hurts her. It
shouldn't hurt. Her p***y should
be Bubble-Yum by now. But when
this cat f**ks her, it hurts. It
hurts like the first time. The
pain is reminding a f**k machine
what is was like to be a virgin.
Hence, "Like a Virgin."

 

[Tommax25]

(During an arguement)
Bleeker: Well, I still have your panties.
Juno: Well, I still have your virginity!

 

[Noa]

A few from the moniest movie ever, Swingers

"Trent: Hey! What're you kicking me for? You want me to ask? All right, I'll ask! Ma'am, where do the high school girls hang out in this town? "





"[It's 2:32am, and Mike decides to call Nikki, a girl he met just a few hours ago]
[Nikki's machine picks up: Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message]
Mike: Hi, uh, Nikki, this is Mike. I met you at the, um, at the Dresden tonight. I just called to say that I had a great time... and you should call me tomorrow, or in two days, whatever. Anyway, my number is 213-555-4679 -
[the machine beeps]
Mike: [Mike calls back, the machine picks up]
Mike: Hi, Nikki, this is Mike again. I just called cuz it sounded like your machine might've cut me off when I, before I finished leaving my number. Anyway, uh, and, y'know, and also, sorry to call so late, but you were still at the Dresden when I left so I knew I'd get your machine. Anyhow, uh, my number's 21 -
[the machine beeps]
Mike: [Mike calls back; the machine picks up again]
Mike: 213-555-4679. That's it. I just wanna leave my number. I didn't want you to think I was weird or desperate, or... we should just hang out and see where it goes cuz it's nice and, y'know, no expectations. Ok? Thanks a lot. Bye bye.
[hangs up]
Mike: [Mike walks away from the phone... then walks back and calls again; once again, the machine picks up]
Mike: I just got out of a 6-year relationship, Ok? That should help explain why I'm acting so weird. I just wanted you to know that. It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry... This is Mike.
[hangs up]
Mike: [Mike calls back, the machine picks up again]
Mike: Hi, Nikki, this is Mike. Could you just call me when you get in? I'm gonna be up for awhile and I'd just rather speak to you in person instead of trying to fit it all into -
[the machine beeps]
Mike: f**k!
[Mike calls back, gets the machine again]
Mike: Uh, Nikki? Mike. It's uh, uh, it's just, uh, this just isn't working out. I think you're great, but maybe we should just take some time off from each other. It's not you, it's me. It's what I'm going through, alright? It's uh... it's only been 6 months ...
Nikki: [picks up] Mike?
Mike: [very cheerful] Nikki? Great! Did you just walk in or were you listening all along?
Nikki: Don't ever call me again.
[hangs up]
Mike: Wow. I guess you're home. "



"Mike: What the f**k are you carrying a gun for? What, in case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?
Sue: Hey man, you're not from here, alright. You don't know how it is. I grew up in L.A.
Trent: Anaheim.
Sue: Whatever, man. It's different out here. It's not like New York, Mikey."


Trent: So, what'd you think of that Dorothy girl?
Mike: The whole Judy Garland thing kinda turned me on. Does that make me some kind of androtop?
Trent: No, baby, you're money.

 

[Godz Illa]

lol Noa... that answering machine scene is one of the most excruciating/hilarious moments of any movie I've seen. So money.

 

[Noa]

Vince Vaughn has been in first gear ever since. Hasnt tested himself at all. He coulda been so money.

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

[after receiving the wrong order at the drive-thru]
Leo Getz: They f**k YOU at the drive-thru, okay? They f**k YOU at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got f**ked! They know you're not gonna turn around and go back, they don't care. So who gets f**ked? Ol' Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a f**k! I'm not eating this tuna, okay?

[At the South African Consulate]
Roger Murtaugh: How you doin'?
[his handshake is ignored by the Envoy]
Consulate Envoy: I think there must be some mistake.
Roger Murtaugh: Say what?
Consulate Envoy: Listen to your friend here, he knows what he's talking about. I don't think you want to go to South Africa.
Roger Murtaugh: Why not?
Consulate Envoy: Because you're black!
Leo Getz: [to Murtaugh] You are.
[to Envoy]
Leo Getz: He is.
[after the envoys states that Murtaugh can't go to South Africa because he's black]
Roger Murtaugh: Of course I'm black. That's why I want to go to South Africa.
Roger Murtaugh: [louder and more militant] To join my oppressed brothers as they take up the struggle against this racist, fascist, White Minority Regime!
Leo Getz: Racist White Regime!
Roger Murtaugh: One man, one vote!
Leo Getz: One man, one vote!
Roger Murtaugh: [Loudly] Free South Africa you dumb son of a bitch!
Leo Getz: You dumb son of a bitch!
Consulate Envoy: That's quite enough! Get out!

Leo Getz: Hey Riggs, who's the perp? What did ya bust him for?
Lee Butters: Oh, I'm a perp? You see a young brother in the back of a police car, automatically I'm a perp. Look at my suit, look at my tie. What do I look like, the f**kin' Crip's accountant? Look at this badge, bitch. Check out the gun.
Leo Getz: Whoa, hey hey hey, put the gun down, put the gun down.
[Butters is pointing a gun at Leo's head after being mistaken for a perp]
Butters: License. Registration. Urine Sample.
Leo: Hey, hey, hey, German Jews didn't have it any easier when we were kids, so don't think you're the only one, okay? Okay? Besides, I was just kiddin' with ya. I can smell a cop a mile away.
Butters: Oh, I smell bad, what'chu trying to say?
Leo: Well, stop turning everything around. You're so damned touchy. Hey, we might even work together, me and those two work together, I'm the bomb, they'll tell ya, I'm great.
Butters: Yeah, we're gonna work together as soon as I open up a cereal factory, ya f**king leprechaun.
Leo: Hey, I didn't call you names, ya f**kface! Don't start now!

Leo Getz: They f**k you with cell phones. That's what it is. They're f**kin' you with the cell phone. They love it when you get cut off. Y'know why, huh? You know why? 'Cause when you call back - -which they know you're gonna do. - -they charge you for that f**kin' first minute again at that high rate.

 

[God-King Dean]

This is madness !

Madness ?

THIS

IS

SPARTA !


​

 

[McLovin]

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=Psif7yWQ4ls&feature=related

End thread...

 

[Mr Angry]

Charlie has a saying here, you can teach them to type but you can't teach them to grow tits.
Charlie Wilson's War

 

[KiWi_BoI_15]

quotes from friday (another all time favourite)

Classic Dodger...

Craig Jones: [points across the street to Mrs. Parker] Look, look, she's bendin' over!
Pastor Clever: Lord have mercy! God is my shepherd, and he knows what I want!
Pastor Clever: [running across the street] Excuse me, Mrs. Parker? Mrs. Parker!


Smokey: Why you not goin' to work?
Craig Jones: I got fired yesterday.
Smokey: No sh*t? I thought you had the day off yesterday.
Craig Jones: I did. I went in to pick up my check, came home, my supervisor called me about four o'clock, told me he got me on tape stealing boxes.
Smokey: The f*ck you stealing boxes for? What you trying to build, a clubhouse?


Ezal: Smoke, buy me a 40oz for my birthday.
Smokey: Today your birthday?
Ezal: What's today?


Smokey: I've been smokin' ever since I was two.

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

Gil Renard: [listening to a Rolling Stones song on the car radio] I remember when Mick recorded this in '78. We had a wild party afterwards.
Richie Renard: Jason Pelligrino's dad says Mick Jagger's gay.
Gil Renard: [angrily] Well, Jason Pelligrino's dad takes it up the ass!

 

[God-King Dean]

" No one Conan... no one in this world can you trust. not man, not women, not beasts...

This you can trust. *points to sword* "

 

[God-King Dean]

This is my BOOMSTICK !

 

[mongoose]

Raoul Duke:How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?