Ten excuses you haven't heard from Ricky Stuart ? yet
By Steve Orme Updated 19/08/2014, 23:47
Canberra Raiders coach Ricky Stuart has made a career out of making excuses for his various teams' woeful performances.
Whether it's the referees, a lack of cattle, a shortage of time or decisions made by the board, one thing is certain ? it's never Ricky's fault.
Destiny awaits the great man this weekend when his Raiders travel to The Shire to face Cronulla in a game that will have a massive say in who finishes last in 2014.
Both clubs are on 14 points with three rounds left. The loser will be favourite to claim the dreaded wooden spoon.
If the Raiders finish bottom this season Stuart will become the first top-grade coach in rugby league history to lead different clubs to the spoon in consecutive seasons.
We did some digging and uncovered a secret list of 10 new excuses Sticky has prepared in case the Green Machine go down again on Sunday afternoon:
1. We came up against a quality outfit who were at full strength and have no off-field dramas to distract them.
2. I told the bus driver to show Rocky III on the bus on the way down to fire the boys up, he played Porkys II instead.
3. Because I was sitting in the Andrew Ettingshausen Stand, all I could think of was Paul Mellor.
4. The dog ate my game plan.
5. My players aren't used to the cold.
6. The King Wan has taken the Beijing duck pancakes off the menu.
7. One of the Mermaids cheerleaders spiked our Gatorade.
8. The Sharks are now beginning to show the value of long-term planning by a coach. The labours of 2010 are obviously now starting to bear fruit. This will be the Raiders by 2018.
9. The piano introduction to Up Up Cronulla is off key and my players were distracted.
10. The Woden Western Rams under 10s have been hit hard by injuries so we don't have any fresh players to bring into first grade ? yet.
