Movies, books, policies, tv ads, radio commentators, newspapers, public panic!
All over the greenhouse effect.
So its only fitting that the joey-less jokes, who claim to know footballers, the team we play later this week, is sponsered by a company who's end product is a major cause of the total destruction of the environment.
"Hey ma, you dont need to walk it, take the tractor" is a common call for the moronic masses who support the Kneukastell Nites (thats how they spell it).
I digress lads,
Lets have a look at their stars.
Joseph Jeramiah Johns
After hearing the bleatings from Reg, Joseph will play. The real joey, JOEY WILLIAMS, will teach the decrepit old one how to play football. Joseph's last good club game was in 1998, since then, he's been a highly paid passenger. Joseph, who would make himself unavailable at his own birthday, would be foolish to risk his neck playing Souths! Thats why he will hobble out rubbing his neck. Joseph for fug's sake do us all a favour and retire. Then we wont have to put with your brothers ghost written dribble in the newspaper!
Adam Mad-Dawg MacDoogal.
A Souths reject. Adam has struggled to find form since he returned his bunny to its rightful owner. I dont actually mind the old Dog but he continues to take wrong options in attack and defence. Doogs says his most admired person is Oprah Winfrey! Nice one doogs. Too much sitting on his backside on the couch when he should be at training!
Todd Polly Polglase.
Another Souths reject who has not looked remotely like a footballer since round 5 last year. Of all the dead wood we let drift, polly was the only one I would have kept for weekly bear duty. Break a leg polly.
Paul "Franger" Franze.
Played two good games for the panthers in 2005 and hasnt been sighted since.
Went to join the London Irish Union side until he got there and somebody told him it was an April Fools Day joke. Was much maligned by the fans at the Panthers, some say thats why he left. Cant blame him.
Benny Bedsy Buderis
Outplayed Johns in our match against them last year ( I was there).
But the only way Bedsy will get to origin this year, is setting next to me in Row 326 seat 236. From up there, you can see clean clear to Maitland. He can do the food duties too.
General
If you go to the knites website, and log into player profiles, you can see what the teachers used to say to them. Judging by their responses, they'll be lucky as a team, not to end up in Adelaide or on a steamship to Samoa.
Coach:
I love Smithy. Evil, uncaring, a real schemer. My kind of guy.
And forget the Parra v Souths stuff. Smithy really wants to beat up on J.T as J.T took his drunken louts and turned them into footballers. Nice one JT.
You'll spot Smithy at the game by his red horns. As I said, I love him.
Fans:
Amongst the most vocal and rude of the NRL. Sometimes I think they believe they are watching boxing. Given that their average IQ is less than the number of people who owe a debt to Phil Gould, that is an achievement.
"Hit him!" "Crack his spine!" is about the depth of their game analysis! Well thanks for that, now would you mind moving your donkey away from my car thanks.
Apart from that, they are coming almost last in the comp and they have a for and against equal to their IQ mentioned earlier.
So its time to knock them up good and proper.
Its Ok, they wont feel a thing.
And we'll be saving the planet too.
Where do they think good football players are going to come from if the pacific islands are submerged under 300 metres of water?
Downtown Cessnock?
Give us a break!
