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Two scientists walk into a bar
The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.
It's tough being Israeli, I mean my Israeli friend gets hassled all the time. The other day when she went through customs they asked her "Occupation?" and she had to reply "No, just a holiday!"
A nun is having a bath inside the Vatican.
A knock at the door.
"Who is it?"
"Blind man can I come in?"
The nun thinks about it before calling him in.
"Nice tits love, now where do you want the blind?"