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Least favourite TV Commentator

Worst commentator of all time


  • Total voters
    88

AlwaysGreen

Immortal
Messages
49,623
It's saying a lot when Mark Nicholas is no where near the worst commentator at your network.
For nine
Best: Michael Hussey - knows the game, is open minded, does not talk his past glories up, gives excellent insights and knows when to keep quiet. A+

2nd: Brett Lee - gives a fast bowler's perspective on the game which adds to the game. Also doesn't talk himself up and although a proud Australian is also appreciative of other team's performances. B+

3rd: Tubby. Good insights and adds a bit of self depreciating humour. Can get a bit carried away when Australia takes a wicket and it's swing bowling not schrwing bowling. B

4th Nicholas. Likes the sound of his own voice. Says 'stroke' about a thousand times a telecast. Doesn't have anything much to say half the time but at least you're not listening to the other knuckleheads. C

Equal last. Plasticman. Just shut up. Talks too much and it's just f**king nonsense, the 'reverse Malachi' wasn't funny the first time and it's not funny the thousandth time you've said it. No one cadre about your petty immature grudges with other players or the childish exploits of Victorian team members in 1992. D-

Equal last: Healy. I haven't listened to what this muppet has said for about 4 years because he is so shit I want to stab myself in the ear whenever he's on. Last time I heard him he was wrong in every prediction he made. D-

Equal last: Slats. Just a sycophant who sounds like he's lining up to give Tubbs, Warne and Chappell blow jobs in the tea break. A cheerleader fur the 'Aussies'. A wanker full stop. Which is a bit frustrating because when he first started commentating for sky in England he was pretty good. Now he's shit. D-

Equal last: Ian Crappell. This isn't the 70s, no one gives a f**k about Ashley Mallett or how many schooners you could sink in World Series cricket or how many people you have grudges with. Piss off. D-

Equal last: Brayshaw. I'm not sure if this clown is a commentator or is just in the commentary box for his ability to attract viewers of the gay community. Every player is a 'big strong man' or has a 'wonderful physique' or has 'toys' and is an 'unbelievably talented young man'. His latest is calling Virot Kholi a 'batting stud'. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay - except when you're a dickhead called James Brayshaw. F.
 

madunit

Super Moderator
Staff member
Messages
62,358
Where's Ian Chappell?

Brayshaw, Slater, Healy, Nicholas and Warne are all shithouse
 

madunit

Super Moderator
Staff member
Messages
62,358
It's saying a lot when Mark Nicholas is no where near the worst commentator at your network.
For nine
Best: Michael Hussey - knows the game, is open minded, does not talk his past glories up, gives excellent insights and knows when to keep quiet. A+

2nd: Brett Lee - gives a fast bowler's perspective on the game which adds to the game. Also doesn't talk himself up and although a proud Australian is also appreciative of other team's performances. B+

3rd: Tubby. Good insights and adds a bit of self depreciating humour. Can get a bit carried away when Australia takes a wicket and it's swing bowling not schrwing bowling. B

4th Nicholas. Likes the sound of his own voice. Says 'stroke' about a thousand times a telecast. Doesn't have anything much to say half the time but at least you're not listening to the other knuckleheads. C

Equal last. Plasticman. Just shut up. Talks too much and it's just f**king nonsense, the 'reverse Malachi' wasn't funny the first time and it's not funny the thousandth time you've said it. No one cadre about your petty immature grudges with other players or the childish exploits of Victorian team members in 1992. D-

Equal last: Healy. I haven't listened to what this muppet has said for about 4 years because he is so shit I want to stab myself in the ear whenever he's on. Last time I heard him he was wrong in every prediction he made. D-

Equal last: Slats. Just a sycophant who sounds like he's lining up to give Tubbs, Warne and Chappell blow jobs in the tea break. A cheerleader fur the 'Aussies'. A wanker full stop. Which is a bit frustrating because when he first started commentating for sky in England he was pretty good. Now he's shit. D-

Equal last: Ian Crappell. This isn't the 70s, no one gives a f**k about Ashley Mallett or how many schooners you could sink in World Series cricket or how many people you have grudges with. Piss off. D-

Equal last: Brayshaw. I'm not sure if this clown is a commentator or is just in the commentary box for his ability to attract viewers of the gay community. Every player is a 'big strong man' or has a 'wonderful physique' or has 'toys' and is an 'unbelievably talented young man'. His latest is calling Virot Kholi a 'batting stud'. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay - except when you're a dickhead called James Brayshaw. F.

I largely agree with all of this.

I rate Tubby a bit higher
 

madunit

Super Moderator
Staff member
Messages
62,358
The thing with Nicholas is the wild exaggerations and constant superlatives he spits out, he glorifies the game a little too much.

But he isn't biased, is entertaining and knows the game.
I don't have a problem with him.

Conversely I don't quite get all the Slater hate, he is a bit over the top but there is far worse out there.

Slater is an egotistical snot.
 

vvvrulz

Coach
Messages
13,625
It's saying a lot when Mark Nicholas is no where near the worst commentator at your network.
For nine
Best: Michael Hussey - knows the game, is open minded, does not talk his past glories up, gives excellent insights and knows when to keep quiet. A+

2nd: Brett Lee - gives a fast bowler's perspective on the game which adds to the game. Also doesn't talk himself up and although a proud Australian is also appreciative of other team's performances. B+

I have been really impressed by Hussey and Lee in the comm box and especially how unbiased they are. Its a pity they get cancelled out every time Warne and Brayshaw open their mouths and spew out their crap
 

hineyrulz

Post Whore
Messages
152,879
It's saying a lot when Mark Nicholas is no where near the worst commentator at your network.
For nine
Best: Michael Hussey - knows the game, is open minded, does not talk his past glories up, gives excellent insights and knows when to keep quiet. A+

2nd: Brett Lee - gives a fast bowler's perspective on the game which adds to the game. Also doesn't talk himself up and although a proud Australian is also appreciative of other team's performances. B+

3rd: Tubby. Good insights and adds a bit of self depreciating humour. Can get a bit carried away when Australia takes a wicket and it's swing bowling not schrwing bowling. B

4th Nicholas. Likes the sound of his own voice. Says 'stroke' about a thousand times a telecast. Doesn't have anything much to say half the time but at least you're not listening to the other knuckleheads. C

Equal last. Plasticman. Just shut up. Talks too much and it's just f**king nonsense, the 'reverse Malachi' wasn't funny the first time and it's not funny the thousandth time you've said it. No one cadre about your petty immature grudges with other players or the childish exploits of Victorian team members in 1992. D-

Equal last: Healy. I haven't listened to what this muppet has said for about 4 years because he is so shit I want to stab myself in the ear whenever he's on. Last time I heard him he was wrong in every prediction he made. D-

Equal last: Slats. Just a sycophant who sounds like he's lining up to give Tubbs, Warne and Chappell blow jobs in the tea break. A cheerleader fur the 'Aussies'. A wanker full stop. Which is a bit frustrating because when he first started commentating for sky in England he was pretty good. Now he's shit. D-

Equal last: Ian Crappell. This isn't the 70s, no one gives a f**k about Ashley Mallett or how many schooners you could sink in World Series cricket or how many people you have grudges with. Piss off. D-

Equal last: Brayshaw. I'm not sure if this clown is a commentator or is just in the commentary box for his ability to attract viewers of the gay community. Every player is a 'big strong man' or has a 'wonderful physique' or has 'toys' and is an 'unbelievably talented young man'. His latest is calling Virot Kholi a 'batting stud'. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay - except when you're a dickhead called James Brayshaw. F.
Bit harsh on Tubby, spot on about the rest. Lee and Huss have been a welcome change in the box. The rest of them are f**king atrocious, biased,boring and totally unfunny.
 

JW

Coach
Messages
12,657
Brayshaw hit new lows this Test, despite the the match being sans Maxderp.

Big units, big levers, arses and undies.

The bloke belongs in the MCG boggers.
 

El Diablo

Post Whore
Messages
94,107
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/c...163210700?nk=1b2a05e7aa66ab89334ef544e1086941

Jon Anderson rates members of Channel 9’s cricket commentary team

Jon Anderson
Herald Sun
December 20, 2014 10:58PM

IT’S two summers on, but one impact of Tony Greig’s *untimely death is highlighted when you tune in to a Channel 9 cricket commentary team that increasingly lacks a point of difference.

Greig was a close friend of the late Kerry Packer, prompting some to think that was the sole reason he retained his job despite two or three bloopers a Test. But, in the words of Joni Mitchell: “You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone.”

What we didn’t understand was the balance Greig brought to a pro-Australian commentary box, and how important it was to have what appeared genuine disagreement between the on-air talent.

These days they seem scared to question the views of a colleague, making for a blander production. Bland was never an adjective you could use when describing the old days of Bill Lawry, Richie Benaud and Greig.

If not for that trio, plus Max Walker, satirist Billy Birmingham would never have sold one copy of his hysterical 12th Man CDs, which were largely based on the verbal quirks of the team from CCP (Central Commentary Position). Birmingham admitted as much recently, claiming it would be impossible to relaunch his concept *because of the lack of voice *talent with which to work.

Ian Chappell has proven you don’t need the quirky delivery of Lawry, Greig and Benaud to be a class act, but it helps to have someone who brings something different.

Of the crew we have heard during the first two Tests, there are good commentators remaining, although picking those always comes down to personal opinion. And I do wonder how Englishmen such as David Gower, Michael Atherton and Nasser Hussein seem so natural so quickly in their new role.

There have been times over the past two weeks when you would swear contracts have been based on how many words someone can utter in the shortest space of time, when the pictures are actually telling the story.

You can’t help but wonder what Benaud, 84, who uses the pause to such wondrous effect, makes of it from his armchair.

Benaud is someone who obviously had heard another song, the Bob Guadio-Bob Crewe-penned Silence is Golden.

Are they trained as such these days? There was a time when legendary producer David Hill was happy to deliver an old-fashioned bake when required and ask exactly what path a commentator was heading down.

Michael Slater is a case in point. Blessed with an infectious manner, Slater has an *appealing natural enthusiasm but that doesn’t excuse taking too long to get to the point.

And if you are employed as a media commentator, and being very well paid to occupy the seat, you have to cross the line between ex-player and media performer.

Robert Walls and Matthew Lloyd are two I can think of who made a clean and successful break in the AFL world.

Chappell is the same and Shane Warne appears to take no prisoners judging by his Mitchell Starc assessment, which proved more correct as the first innings wore on.

Speaking of football, James Brayshaw, best known in his calling role with Triple M, is someone who has had to fight for cricketing credibility in a sea of legends.

He was a fine Sheffield Shield performer for South Australia and Western Australia, scoring 4934 runs at 42.53, with 10 centuries, between 1987-97, but never played a Test.

He is also an extremely confident 47-year-old who polarises his audience like few others with a style that is far more FM radio than ABC.

He favours dramatic tones, when cricket is generally a more sedate six hours than a frenetic afternoon at the footy.

ANDO RATES THE CALLERS

Shane Warne — 9/10

Begins ahead of most given his record but constantly proves what a captain he would have been.

Ian Healy — 8.5 /10

As Australian as an Anzac biscuit, Healy is one who could take up the protagonist role of Greig.

James Brayshaw — 4.10

Has a style that appears ideally suited to the rock’n’roll world of Twenty20 cricket”.

Mike Hussey — 6/10

Is very much in the embryonic stage but at times appears reticent to be too forthright.

Brett Lee — 5.5/10

Lee looks good but you just want him occasionally to throw in one of those thunderbolts.

Mark Taylor — 7.5/10

John Arlott he is not in terms of delivery but his knowledge of the game can’t be doubted.

Michael Slater — 6/10

Like a kid going to the zoo for the first time, such is his bubbly nature.

Ian Chappell — 9/10

Nothing has changed over 35 years, very much what you see is what you get. The doyen.

Mark Nicholas — 8/10

As smooth as melted chocolate, performs his role with aplomb.

Glenn McGrath — 6/10

A natural manner and obvious potential if only he can stretch himself at times.
 

vvvrulz

Coach
Messages
13,625
Don't know what to make of that, Brayshaw rightfully last but rating Warne, Healy and Chappell as the top three? Fail.

Hussey and Lee are are in fact two of the best
 

hineyrulz

Post Whore
Messages
152,879
The only ones who deserve a pass mark are Tubby,Binga and Huss. The rest are massive fails. Braytard deserves a minus 494856358483473983855839575389.
 
Last edited:

typicalfan

Coach
Messages
15,488
Healy is horrible when he talks about fast bowling or batting like he scored 10,000 runs and 300 wickets.

I think Lee and Hussey are good, need more experience. I don't mind Warne, he is like our Botham, incredibly biased and opinionated to the point of annoyance but at least he backs himself.

Brayshaw is pathetic.
 

JJ

Immortal
Messages
32,343
This Anderson fellow is certifiable - Chappell and Warne 9/10, that is just so funny
 

PARRA_FAN

Coach
Messages
17,656
Not the same without Bill and Richie.

The rest of the boys just dont have the same sort of cliches and colourful commentary as the two I mentioned.

Taylor and Warne arent too bad, also Hussey is coming good each time.

I could do without Brayshaw, Chappell and Healy.
 

8Ball

First Grade
Messages
5,132
This Anderson fellow is certifiable - Chappell and Warne 9/10, that is just so funny

Victorian writer by the look of it. That would explain things. They are still upset that Hodge didn't play 100 tests for Australia.
 

yawn

Juniors
Messages
681
How do you tell the difference between the Chappell voices?

The Fairfax radio commentator is different from the one on tv? I assumed they would use the same one.
 

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