Spreading the truth
The reflections of two South Sydney missionaries and their trek through Bondi Beach.
*Ding dong*
*The sound of footsteps behind the door before the rattling of a chain and the door sliding open*
‘Hi there miss! My names brother John, and this is brother Fred. Can we have a minute of your time?’
The old lady at the door spies the two young men suspiciously, aware of their red and green jersey and the ‘Book of Grudges’ in their hands.
‘Are you two… Mormons?’ the lady asked, part curious and part fearful.
‘No ma’am, we’re members of ‘The Church of South Sydney and the Latter Day Fans’, and if you’d just open me up to Chapter 2, verse 4 of the Book of Grudges, you’ll seen that Greg Inglis is the Messiah for –’
*The woman slams the door shut and you can hear the chaining of the door as well as what appears to be the cocking of a shot gun*
‘Well, that’s how it rolls sometimes John,’ Fred soothed as they walked back down the pathway to the street. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong, she was just… well, she wasn’t going to listen to the truth. Sometimes these non-believers know there’s a Messiah; they just don’t want to believe that Greg Inglis is he.’
‘Are they always so rude?’ John asked, somewhat shaken by the encounter.
‘Not always. Some of them quite politely say no and close the door.’
Fred stopped and sat down at a bench, opening a can of coke.
‘Let’s have a break here, John.’
John sat down, a worried expression still on his face.
‘Hey, Fred, can I ask you a question?’
‘Sure, John.’
‘Do you ever have doubts?’
There was a small pause after the question was asked.
‘Doubts? As in, do I doubt Greg Inglis is the Messiah?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Well, that’s a good question John. I mean, I have had some doubts when I was a young fan. There have been many days that I’ve wondered ‘When will the Messiah return?’ But, when we signed Greg, all my fears evaporated. Now, well… we wait until the judgement. When Greg will judge the faithful and the non faithful as he holds up the statue of power.’
‘The what?’
‘The other fans call it the ‘premiership trophy’. They say it has two guys called Norm and Arthur on it, but the revelation of Greg Inglis has shown us the truth of the matter. It is really the carvings of Russell Crowe and Shane Richardson embracing at Greg’s birth.’
‘Ah yes, the ‘Immaculate Interception’, when Greg was borne against the run of play.’
John seemed more certain of things now.
‘C’mon, let’s try the next house.’
The two of them approached, and rang the doorbell. A young man opened the door.
‘G’day.’
‘Hi there sir! My names brother John, and this is brother Fred. Can we have a minute of your time?’
‘You sure can! Would you like to come in?’ The man was friendly and open, before opening the door and letting the two men in.
‘Thank you.’
‘Tea, or coffee?’ The man asked.’
‘Ah, tea, thanks,’ John replied.
‘Coffee, good sir,’ Fred replied.
The man took them into his kitchen and sat them down at the table, before turning to prepare the drinks. John turned around and gave two thumbs up to Fred. Yet, to his horror, Fred had the pale look of fear all over his face.
‘Uh, err, do you have a bathroom, sir?’ Fred asked.
‘Yes mate, just over there,’ the man replied as he pointed down the hall.
‘C’mon, John, follow me,’ called Fred.
John, unaware of what had spooked Fred, followed him to the bathroom.
When they entered, Fred was visibly shaking and had opened the Book of Grudges to the page on St George.
‘What’s wrong, Fred?’
‘J-J-J-John, do you know who that is?’
‘No Fred, who?’
Fred showed the page to John, and on it sat the face of the man who’d let them into the house. The words ‘Anti-Fan’ sat underneath.
‘Who is it?’ John asked, suddenly fearful.
‘The man who stands as the arch nemesis of South Sydney fans. He began the lol@50uff$ movement.’
‘Who?’
Suddenly, a violent roar was heard outside, and the edge of an axe pierced the door. Again and again the axed pounded whilst Fred and John screamed in fear. Finally, the man’s face poked through the door, and with an evil grin, he spoke.
‘Here’s muzby!’
