Mental Health

[emjaycee]

I have woken up each of the past 3 mornings still not believing I do not have a dad anymore after 58 years but appreciate the fact I'd had one for much longer than many others, and for that I am truly grateful.
He will forever be my guiding light, my strength and the person who has led me to be the person I am today.

My Dad has been gone 36 years this week and I sometimes still see him walking towards me in the CBD when I am in there.

I'm told it goes away...

Stay strong buddy, this week is hard but it does get easier.

 

[eels_fan]

still not believing I do not have a dad anymore

I know it can be hard in the early days to think this way, but you still do, and will always have a dad.

You can still speak to him, and the universe has a strange way of giving you signs that he is indeed listening, you just have to be open to it.

I truly believe no one is “gone” until the memory of them is forgotten, so speak about him often, recount his stories or laughs at every family event. Whilst-ever he is on your mind and in your thoughts he is not gone.

 

[Happy MEel]

I have woken up each of the past 3 mornings still not believing I do not have a dad anymore after 58 years but appreciate the fact I'd had one for much longer than many others, and for that I am truly grateful.
He will forever be my guiding light, my strength and the person who has led me to be the person I am today.

Amazing words mate and I’m sure he’s reading them from above. As hard as funerals are, I hope you find the space to celebrate the life he had and what he meant to you all. Take care Suity

 

[Avenger]

Last year was the most challenging year I have ever had. I'm still sad about losing my own father and have dreamt about him so many times. Almost every time I know he has passed as I am a consistent lucid dreamer. It's like a gift when I get to talk to him again. I miss him so much but it does get better.

Stay strong @Suitman.

Nek' mu je laka crna zemlja

 

[Incorrect]

Amazing words mate and I’m sure he’s reading them from above. As hard as funerals are, I hope you find the space to celebrate the life he had and what he meant to you all. Take care Suity

I haven't been to a heap of funerals thankfully, actually only 3 in the past 7 years. 2 of those in the last 12 months as 2 of my closest mates lost their dads to illness. The other was a mate who took his own life going back 6 years ago or so... That was a tough one to sit through.... But my mates' dad's funerals had me thinking, and I've told my wife and a few people this, whenever my time comes, I don't want my funeral to be the overwhelming sad tear-a-thon with the typical Jeff Buckley Hallelujah soundtrack.... I want it to be a celebration. A couple of my favourite tracks, a few funny yarns and good food and drink to send me off.... I'd hate to think people would be be more down than they need to be...

 

[Happy MEel]

I haven't been to a heap of funerals thankfully, actually only 3 in the past 7 years. 2 of those in the last 12 months as 2 of my closest mates lost their dads to illness. The other was a mate who took his own life going back 6 years ago or so... That was a tough one to sit through.... But my mates' dad's funerals had me thinking, and I've told my wife and a few people this, whenever my time comes, I don't want my funeral to be the overwhelming sad tear-a-thon with the typical Jeff Buckley Hallelujah soundtrack.... I want it to be a celebration. A couple of my favourite tracks, a few funny yarns and good food and drink to send me off.... I'd hate to think people would be be more down than they need to be...

That’s definitely the send off I’d prefer as well. Unfortunately though we can’t account for the feeling of loss and grief for those we leave behind. I’ve found the funeral itself is pretty devastating but the wake is where the yarns come out over a few beers.

 

[Suitman]

Thanks peeps for the comments and support.

All is organised for the funeral/burial/wake tomorrow. Today, we just needed one more reader for a prayer at the service as someone has pulled out. Both of my kids have said they will take it on, even though they are already doing other readings of sorts. Very proud of both of them for doing so. My oldest daughter has filled the void and will do the extra reading, even though she is the one who will probably be the more emotional of them both.
I'm feeling ok at this stage. I'm sure I might be feeling much different in the morning though. but I am prepared for that.

Thanks again. The genuine feedback and support this week on this thread has been immense for me.

 

[parra pete]

Thinking of you mate, and wishing you and your family all the best.
So hard losing your dad -may he rest in peace

THE MEASURE OF A MAN

Not - How did he die? But - How did he live?
Not - What did he gain? But - What did he give?
These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not - What was his station? But - had he a heart?
And - How did he play his God-given part?
Was he ever ready with a word of good cheer?
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not - What was his church? Not - What was his creed?
But - Had he befriended those really in need?
Not - What did the sketch in the newspaper say?
But - How many were sorry when he passed away?
These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

I'll bet your Dad was a beauty, and I'll bet he was so PROUD of the man you had become, and how you raised your family. Take care Paul.

 

[hineyrulz]

Thinking of you mate, and wishing you and your family all the best.
So hard losing your dad -may he rest in peace

THE MEASURE OF A MAN

Not - How did he die? But - How did he live?
Not - What did he gain? But - What did he give?
These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not - What was his station? But - had he a heart?
And - How did he play his God-given part?
Was he ever ready with a word of good cheer?
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not - What was his church? Not - What was his creed?
But - Had he befriended those really in need?
Not - What did the sketch in the newspaper say?
But - How many were sorry when he passed away?
These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

I'll bet your Dad was a beauty, and I'll bet he was so PROUD of the man you had become, and how you raised your family. Take care Paul.

Lovely words, well said Pete.

 

[Incorrect]

Thinking of you mate, and wishing you and your family all the best.
So hard losing your dad -may he rest in peace

THE MEASURE OF A MAN

Not - How did he die? But - How did he live?
Not - What did he gain? But - What did he give?
These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not - What was his station? But - had he a heart?
And - How did he play his God-given part?
Was he ever ready with a word of good cheer?
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not - What was his church? Not - What was his creed?
But - Had he befriended those really in need?
Not - What did the sketch in the newspaper say?
But - How many were sorry when he passed away?
These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

I'll bet your Dad was a beauty, and I'll bet he was so PROUD of the man you had become, and how you raised your family. Take care Paul.

Good one Pete... Probably your best....

 

[Suitman]

Thinking of you mate, and wishing you and your family all the best.
So hard losing your dad -may he rest in peace

THE MEASURE OF A MAN

Not - How did he die? But - How did he live?
Not - What did he gain? But - What did he give?
These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not - What was his station? But - had he a heart?
And - How did he play his God-given part?
Was he ever ready with a word of good cheer?
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not - What was his church? Not - What was his creed?
But - Had he befriended those really in need?
Not - What did the sketch in the newspaper say?
But - How many were sorry when he passed away?
These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

I'll bet your Dad was a beauty, and I'll bet he was so PROUD of the man you had become, and how you raised your family. Take care Paul.

Thanks Pete. Such very kind and pertinent words.

 

[Gronk]

Thanks peeps for the comments and support.

All is organised for the funeral/burial/wake tomorrow. Today, we just needed one more reader for a prayer at the service as someone has pulled out. Both of my kids have said they will take it on, even though they are already doing other readings of sorts. Very proud of both of them for doing so. My oldest daughter has filled the void and will do the extra reading, even though she is the one who will probably be the more emotional of them both.
I'm feeling ok at this stage. I'm sure I might be feeling much different in the morning though. but I am prepared for that.

Thanks again. The genuine feedback and support this week on this thread has been immense for me.

Tough day today mate. Thinking of you.

 

[hybrideel]

Thank you everyone for your kind caring thoughts and comments. It has been a crazy and at times rather morbid 3 days organising a funeral, choosing a grave site and organising a wake. There are also so many other things to arrange such as to who will do readings at the church service and preparing the prayer book, a pic collage for dad, deciding music, choosing food at the wake, etc.... I'm proud that my kids will be playing a part and proud of them to having the courage to do so.
It's worse than organising a wedding as everything has to be done so quickly.
Yet, it will be a celebration of my dad's life and that is how we are preparing it.

I understand many of you have been through this before. We as an immediate family have not. Yet, we have all pulled together and it has been arranged very quickly. The funeral will be this Friday.

I have woken up each of the past 3 mornings still not believing I do not have a dad anymore after 58 years but appreciate the fact I'd had one for much longer than many others, and for that I am truly grateful.
He will forever be my guiding light, my strength and the person who has led me to be the person I am today.

Condolences Suity
completely agree on how hard it is to try and put a life together into a 30 minute package within days of the loss while also attempting to grieve. Had to do that 18 months ago for my father and I don't wish it on anyone

Edit. Just realised the funeral was today. Hope all went as well as can be hoped on such a sad day

 

[Suitman]

Well, it is done and dusted. Dad has been laid to rest.
It was a beautiful church service. And a very emotional burial. Plenty of tears were shed at both by many.
A wake also that was a celebration of my dad's life, and what a caring, calm, gentle and loving person he was.
I chose not to get a lift today from others who offered to drive me. I chose to drive myself so I wouldn't drink at the wake and therefore, more so enjoy the company of so many people who adored my father and who I could share the memories of him with them. That included all his 80 + year old friends. It was such a blast chatting with them all. Of course, there were others who wanted a few drinks and were going to enjoy it and they did, which is also what it is about.

A very special shout out to a fellow forumite on here who surprised me with his attendance today. And which truly, made my day!
It is hard to explain in words, but when I saw him standing off to the side when I was at the church before the service, it really blew me away. I thank you so, so much for coming mate.

 

[Incorrect]

Well, it is done and dusted. Dad has been laid to rest.
It was a beautiful church service. And a very emotional burial. Plenty of tears were shed at both by many.
A wake also that was a celebration of my dad's life, and what a caring, calm, gentle and loving person he was.
I chose not to get a lift today from others who offered to drive me. I chose to drive myself so I wouldn't drink at the wake and therefore, more so enjoy the company of so many people who adored my father and who I could share the memories of him with them. That included all his 80 + year old friends. It was such a blast chatting with them all. Of course, there were others who wanted a few drinks and were going to enjoy it and they did, which is also what it is about.

A very special shout out to a fellow forumite on here who surprised me with his attendance today. And which truly, made my day!
It is hard to explain in words, but when I saw him standing off to the side when I was at the church before the service, it really blew me away. I thank you so, so much for coming mate.

Glad it went as well as you could have hoped by the sounds of it and kudos to whoever it was from these parts who made the effort to be there, great stuff...

 

[Happy MEel]

Well, it is done and dusted. Dad has been laid to rest.
It was a beautiful church service. And a very emotional burial. Plenty of tears were shed at both by many.
A wake also that was a celebration of my dad's life, and what a caring, calm, gentle and loving person he was.
I chose not to get a lift today from others who offered to drive me. I chose to drive myself so I wouldn't drink at the wake and therefore, more so enjoy the company of so many people who adored my father and who I could share the memories of him with them. That included all his 80 + year old friends. It was such a blast chatting with them all. Of course, there were others who wanted a few drinks and were going to enjoy it and they did, which is also what it is about.

A very special shout out to a fellow forumite on here who surprised me with his attendance today. And which truly, made my day!
It is hard to explain in words, but when I saw him standing off to the side when I was at the church before the service, it really blew me away. I thank you so, so much for coming mate.

Sounds like he got the send off he so deserved, and it’s largely thanks to you, Suity. You have no doubt been an exceptional son and I have no doubt your father thought this.

I have a feeling I know who attended the service and can I just say that’s such a massive thing to do. It is quite the community we have on here but it’s things like this, going above and beyond, that makes all the difference. Well done.

 

[Eelementary]

Thank you everyone for your kind caring thoughts and comments. It has been a crazy and at times rather morbid 3 days organising a funeral, choosing a grave site and organising a wake. There are also so many other things to arrange such as to who will do readings at the church service and preparing the prayer book, a pic collage for dad, deciding music, choosing food at the wake, etc.... I'm proud that my kids will be playing a part and proud of them to having the courage to do so.
It's worse than organising a wedding as everything has to be done so quickly.
Yet, it will be a celebration of my dad's life and that is how we are preparing it.

I understand many of you have been through this before. We as an immediate family have not. Yet, we have all pulled together and it has been arranged very quickly. The funeral will be this Friday.

I have woken up each of the past 3 mornings still not believing I do not have a dad anymore after 58 years but appreciate the fact I'd had one for much longer than many others, and for that I am truly grateful.
He will forever be my guiding light, my strength and the person who has led me to be the person I am today.

Judging by the character of the son he raised, your father must have been an exceptional man.

 

[Suitman]

So, 24 hrs later, I am trying to move on and live life as normally as possible. I need to keep my mind occupied, yet not ever forgettting the week that was.
Both my kids are heading to Gosford Stadium today to see the Wanderers vs Mariners A-League game with a heap of their friends. Both groups of theirs are heading up separately.
Instead of sitting at home still feeling sad and depressed, I have decided I will jump on a bus and two trains shortly and head to Gosford myself. I'll catch up with them up there. I'll share some beers with them all. It'll be good for the soul.
Until the Wanderers maybe lose again? Surely they can just win today, for me. It's 2 vs 3 for those that don't know.

Also, thanks to those above for the beautiful posts.

 

[Suitman]

I have a feeling I know who attended the service and can I just say that’s such a massive thing to do.

And I'm guessing that your feeling would be correct.
He's truly such an amazing person.

 

[Twizzle]

Until the Wanderers maybe lose again?

Mariners looking good mate, would be better if the Barcodes kept their hands off our players