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Mental Health

Suitman

Post Whore
Messages
53,166
This is an excellent thread that I will be following closely.
I take my hat off to @lingard and @Eelementary for being so open and forthcoming. That is what this thread is about.

I've been through some pretty tough shite in my life, yet always got through it.
However, what I am dealing with atm has been the toughest challenge I have ever faced. I'm 57.
It has been 5 years now dealing with this issue (it is someone who is very close to me) and it is ongoing and will continue to be for many more years to come. It's tough.
Even just 2 weeks ago I received a hate message from a family member (an in-law, via FB messenger) that was extraordinarily offensive and damaging.
I'm not prepared to divulge what the issue is that I am dealing with, on a public forum.
What I can divulge is that I am proud of the way I am dealing with the toughest challenge of my life. That is not in any way making light of the situation.
And yes, I have used my 10 free psychiatric appointments.
It is not my life that is on the line, but someone else's.
I'm just not sure how I would handle life if things went wrong.
 

Happy MEel

First Grade
Messages
8,562
This is an excellent thread that I will be following closely.
I take my hat off to @lingard and @Eelementary for being so open and forthcoming. That is what this thread is about.

I've been through some pretty tough shite in my life, yet always got through it.
However, what I am dealing with atm has been the toughest challenge I have ever faced. I'm 57.
It has been 5 years now dealing with this issue (it is someone who is very close to me) and it is ongoing and will continue to be for many more years to come. It's tough.
Even just 2 weeks ago I received a hate message from a family member (an in-law, via FB messenger) that was extraordinarily offensive and damaging.
I'm not prepared to divulge what the issue is that I am dealing with, on a public forum.
What I can divulge is that I am proud of the way I am dealing with the toughest challenge of my life. That is not in any way making light of the situation.
And yes, I have used my 10 free psychiatric appointments.
It is not my life that is on the line, but someone else's.
I'm just not sure how I would handle life if things went wrong.
Sorry to hear you’re going through some tough times at the moment Suity. Really appreciate you sharing this, particularly as you’re still going through it. I hope there’s brighter days ahead for you and whoever needs help. You’re a great poster on here and I have no doubt you’d be a top bloke in real life. Perhaps this thread is the catalyst for a LU catch up at some stage. Always here if you need to get anything off your shoulders. Cheers mate
 

Suitman

Post Whore
Messages
53,166
Sorry to hear you’re going through some tough times at the moment Suity. Really appreciate you sharing this, particularly as you’re still going through it. I hope there’s brighter days ahead for you and whoever needs help. You’re a great poster on here and I have no doubt you’d be a top bloke in real life. Perhaps this thread is the catalyst for a LU catch up at some stage. Always here if you need to get anything off your shoulders. Cheers mate

I really appreciate those thoughts mate.
I'm the sort of bloke that is always happy to catch up with anyone from LU. There are many I'd love to still meet.
Some however, always like to remain anonymous. I'm fine with that as well.
I'm heading to my first Eels game of the season next Saturday with some fellow forum friends. These issues I mentioned have kept me away for one reason or another.
I'm happy to catch up with anyone who wants to share a beer or soft drink.
I'd also be happy to confide with those that I trust.
 

Happy MEel

First Grade
Messages
8,562
I really appreciate those thoughts mate.
I'm the sort of bloke that is always happy to catch up with anyone from LU. There are many I'd love to still meet.
Some however, always like to remain anonymous. I'm fine with that as well.
I'm heading to my first Eels game of the season next Saturday with some fellow forum friends. These issues I mentioned have kept me away for one reason or another.
I'm happy to catch up with anyone who wants to share a beer or soft drink.
I'd also be happy to confide with those that I trust.
Cheers mate. I haven’t looked at next weekend yet but if we head out on Saturday I’ll definitely let you know. Might need to commence negotiations with the boss to look after the kids 🤣
 

Suitman

Post Whore
Messages
53,166
Cheers mate. I haven’t looked at next weekend yet but if we head out on Saturday I’ll definitely let you know. Might need to commence negotiations with the boss to look after the kids 🤣

All good. Would certainly be happy (pun intended :) ) one way or another, but would be great to meet another forumite.
Would be good for the mental health.
 

hindy111

Post Whore
Messages
50,870
I would like to get help to get my brain rewired to deal with trauma differently.

I don't want a seemingly insignificant stimulus to make me irrationally angry; I live most of my life getting angry at little things, and I can't control it. It's a crsppy way to live.

So my ideal goal would be:

(1) seek psychiatric assistance to see if there is medication that can take the edge off;

(2) participate in face-to-face psychological treatment to learn skills to better manage my brain.

While options 1 and 2 are being looked into, I thought I'd take a look at Better Help.

Now I'm having second thoughts.

Is there anything you would like to learn but that may help you not think about things? Like cooking, fitness,instrument etc. It may take your mind elsewhere perhaps? I hope I am not sounding like a wanker. Just suggesting a few things that I know helped friends who deal with depression.
 
Messages
2,329
Even just 2 weeks ago I received a hate message from a family member (an in-law, via FB messenger) that was extraordinarily offensive and damaging.
Those unhelpful involvements from family members can be really tough, on top of any matter that already has layers of difficulty that you are navigating/need to navigate.
What I can divulge is that I am proud of the way I am dealing with the toughest challenge of my life. That is not in any way making light of the situation.
And yes, I have used my 10 free psychiatric appointments.
That's definitely a positive and something to gain continuing strength from, as and when you need to. Hope that you can stay strong - and of course remain open to reaching out/talking it through at the same time (which can be a tough gig for men of a certain vintage).

I think GPs can extend those 10 free appointments into another 10 for the next year where it would be of benefit - as that's what's happened for me this year, within the matters I'm dealing with (admittedly not as heavy as they had been or could otherwise be).
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
54,955
Is there anything you would like to learn but that may help you not think about things? Like cooking, fitness,instrument etc. It may take your mind elsewhere perhaps? I hope I am not sounding like a wanker. Just suggesting a few things that I know helped friends who deal with depression.

No, you don't sound like a wanker at all.

I've definitely cleaned up my diet - adding more veggies, and fish, and less processed foods, and it makes me feel physically better.

I'm going for 30 minute walks every day, as well as using resistance band training to try to lose weight, and get fit.

It all helps, but it's all incremental, if that makes sense.

I would like something to "reset" me to make things easier to engage, moving forward.

I've tried a lot of different apporaches; I'm 37, have been clinically depressed (including having suicidal ideation) since I was 15. It's been a very long, exhausting fight.

I'm not ready to give up any time soon, but I'm worried about how much fuel is left in my psychological tank, if that makes sense?
 

hindy111

Post Whore
Messages
50,870
No, you don't sound like a wanker at all.

I've definitely cleaned up my diet - adding more veggies, and fish, and less processed foods, and it makes me feel physically better.

I'm going for 30 minute walks every day, as well as using resistance band training to try to lose weight, and get fit.

It all helps, but it's all incremental, if that makes sense.

I would like something to "reset" me to make things easier to engage, moving forward.

I've tried a lot of different apporaches; I'm 37, have been clinically depressed (including having suicidal ideation) since I was 15. It's been a very long, exhausting fight.

I'm not ready to give up any time soon, but I'm worried about how much fuel is left in my psychological tank, if that makes sense?

Yes but you might be a late bloomer. Like a flower trying to open up. Think how good you may be once hit 40. Might be the brightest most colourful flower of the bunch 😊
Stay positive, your one of my favourite posters.
 

emjaycee

Coach
Messages
11,372
I really appreciate those thoughts mate.
I'm the sort of bloke that is always happy to catch up with anyone from LU. There are many I'd love to still meet.
Some however, always like to remain anonymous. I'm fine with that as well.
I'm heading to my first Eels game of the season next Saturday with some fellow forum friends. These issues I mentioned have kept me away for one reason or another.
I'm happy to catch up with anyone who wants to share a beer or soft drink.
I'd also be happy to confide with those that I trust.
Mate, I'll buy you a greek feed in Eat St after we beat the family club on Saturday.

You know where I live and you should know my door is always open.
 

lingard

Coach
Messages
10,615
I would like to get help to get my brain rewired to deal with trauma differently.

I don't want a seemingly insignificant stimulus to make me irrationally angry; I live most of my life getting angry at little things, and I can't control it. It's a crsppy way to live.

So my ideal goal would be:

(1) seek psychiatric assistance to see if there is medication that can take the edge off;

(2) participate in face-to-face psychological treatment to learn skills to better manage my brain.

While options 1 and 2 are being looked into, I thought I'd take a look at Better Help.

Now I'm having second thoughts.

If you've got a history of trauma, and you're saying you have frequent 'triggers' (?) - emdr therapy is supposed to have a pretty high success rate. (If that's what your main issue is.) I reckon reading about trauma and it's effects is very helpful. Also depression. If you've got a broken car and haven't found a good mechanic yet, you need to get the workshop manual and study it (if you want to fix it). Pete Walker has a very good book on Complex PTSD. Also, this thing about asking Christ to drive demons out. I don't doubt that it could work if you were a Christian and if you had enough faith. But if not, then not very helpful I guess. Also, how could this person diagnose that after one session via video? I'd give that a miss and not worry about myself.
 

lingard

Coach
Messages
10,615
My daughter has had issues for the last decade or so, as far as meds go, seeing the GP or hospital or psychologist was a waste of time and money for the most part, they just don't have the expertise to deal with it. Investing in seeing a psychiatrist was the best money I've spent on her treatment wise, and I've spent a fair bit over the years.

Yeah. My experience (professionally) has been that a good psychiatrist is worth his or her weight in gold. But it's a bit of a lottery, and there are some not so good ones out there as well. Got to shop around; like finding a pair of shoes that fit.
 

lingard

Coach
Messages
10,615
This is an excellent thread that I will be following closely.
I take my hat off to @lingard and @Eelementary for being so open and forthcoming. That is what this thread is about.

I've been through some pretty tough shite in my life, yet always got through it.
However, what I am dealing with atm has been the toughest challenge I have ever faced. I'm 57.
It has been 5 years now dealing with this issue (it is someone who is very close to me) and it is ongoing and will continue to be for many more years to come. It's tough.
Even just 2 weeks ago I received a hate message from a family member (an in-law, via FB messenger) that was extraordinarily offensive and damaging.
I'm not prepared to divulge what the issue is that I am dealing with, on a public forum.
What I can divulge is that I am proud of the way I am dealing with the toughest challenge of my life. That is not in any way making light of the situation.
And yes, I have used my 10 free psychiatric appointments.
It is not my life that is on the line, but someone else's.
I'm just not sure how I would handle life if things went wrong.
I think often it's actually f**king harder if it's someone else's life or sanity on the line because, at the end of the day, you're relatively powerless to change their circumstances. And that can be terrifying.
 

Bandwagon

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
35,295
Yeah. My experience (professionally) has been that a good psychiatrist is worth his or her weight in gold. But it's a bit of a lottery, and there are some not so good ones out there as well. Got to shop around; like finding a pair of shoes that fit.

I don't know if the guy is "good", you'd need a baseline to compare it to , and being in a regional centre specialists are thin on the ground, so try like six months plus for an initial consult, very hard to shop around.

What I do know though is that after having meds prescribed that initially seemed to work, then didn't, the only response was to keep upping the dosage, which inevitably required upping again, to the point of hey hang on this is insane.

On seeing the Psychiatrist, the meds were changed, monitored, changed and monitored, the end result thus far less meds, smaller dosages, and most importantly progress to the point that she's now happy ( most of the time )

It sounds such a small thing being happy, but f**k it's a huge difference.
 

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