What's new
The Front Row Forums

Register a free account today to become a member of the world's largest Rugby League discussion forum! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Mental Health

Gronk

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
77,376
This is my expertise. It’s a complex beast and the Feds are trying to hand responsibility for childhood ASD supports back to the states. @Eelementary needs rest first and foremost so he can be there as best as he can for his family.
Well said. I was actually thinking about respite. Is that a thing for carers within the NDIS space? I know it is for people that provide care for the elderly.
 

Soren Lorenson

First Grade
Messages
7,546
Well said. I was actually thinking about respite. Is that a thing for carers within the NDIS space? I know it is for people that provide care for the elderly.
Sure is a thing. But it’s sort of 100 steps down the track for Eele based on the little I know of his circumstances.
BTW, if you have heard the media reports of holidays / cruises paid for by the NDIS, calling it respite is how they do it.
 
Messages
11,657
It's pretty clear that he's a junky and on the downhill. I hope something good happens for him soon.

I think the best thing that could happen for AOK at the moment is a jail term, tbh.
 
Messages
11,657
I'm struggling, at the moment.

Little man - who is a beautiful boy of 4, on the ASD spectrum - is lashing out at daycare, and is close to being asked to leave daycare.

He is insisting I either sit on a chair in his room all night, or that he sleep in my bed.

I'm getting 4 hours of sleep a night - on a good night.

I keep thinking, "When will things give me a break?"

I can't keep getting 4 hours of sleep a night - I'm totally wrecked.
I think they might have some assistance like that under the NDIS - as they used to fund some respite assistance for parents under the previous HCWA (Helping Children With Autism) program.

But also hopefully also some assistance for your little man as he's now approaching the key ages for early intervention strategies, which might make things a little easier in his days - and hence also for you as parents - too.

 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
57,097
mate that sounds really tough. Have you got other supports around you that can pitch in?

Sadly, no - bothy parents are deceased, my mother-in-law passed away earlier this year, and my father-in-law has Alzheimer's.

I'm not coping, man.

I can't go to work, and pretend to give a crap about people, and their problems, on 3 hours of sleep a night.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
57,097
Really tough mate. Can the NDIS help you in any way ?


We've been on their list for 18 months, waiting for support.

We're desperate for help - we can't even recognise the triggers for our own son. We feel like awful parents.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
57,097
My Father inlaw had Depression issues.
He would walk around talking to himself. He would slap his thighs and complain about his legs aching
He lost a lot of weight where I thought he had some form of cancer.
In turned out he had a chemical imbalance in his brain.
After Psychiatrist got his medication correct he returned to his old self.
As long as he stayed on his medication he was OK.
Depression also runs in his family.

I also know someone who has gone through shock therapy within the last couple of years because their depression was that bad.

That's awful to hear :(

I've been clinically depressed since I was 15 (I think my childhood of living in different countries every few years did me a lot of favours, but it also messed me up a bit psychologically), and I've been diagnosed with ADSD since I was 30.

The lack of sleep compounds both issues.

Incompletely understand that kids will give you a rough trot, in terms of sleep.

But my boy will give me 2 good nights in a row, and we think we've sorted out the issue, and then he goes months where he wakes up every 40 minutes.

Not only is it not good for me, but it cannot be good for him, either.

I honestly see no light at the end of the tunnel - not to be melodramatic, but it's seemingly interminable.

And nothing seems to work.

When we were reading up on raising a child who is neuro divergent, all the literature kept repeating that it is hard, hard work - they don't understand the world like neuro typical people do, and have stimuli that set them off that most people can't understand.

And they were right.

Not to mention that he's probably tired, and lashing out at daycare because of it.

It's a mess at the moment.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
57,097
I think they might have some assistance like that under the NDIS - as they used to fund some respite assistance for parents under the previous HCWA (Helping Children With Autism) program.

But also hopefully also some assistance for your little man as he's now approaching the key ages for early intervention strategies, which might make things a little easier in his days - and hence also for you as parents - too.


We've got a key worker from the NDIS, but funding takes months to organise.

We called the key worker last week, in tears, advising them that our son is on the cusp of being kicked out of daycare because he keeps lashing out at other kids, or the educators.

But their hands are tied, until the funding comes through.

It's torture at the moment.
 
Messages
11,657
We've got a key worker from the NDIS, but funding takes months to organise.

We called the key worker last week, in tears, advising them that our son is on the cusp of being kicked out of daycare because he keeps lashing out at other kids, or the educators.

But their hands are tied, until the funding comes through.

It's torture at the moment.
That's really tough.

It shouldn't be this way, but sometimes it seems funding for needed things comes more quickly after the needs become higher, e.g. if you son does actually end up getting kicked out of daycare? Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but as Soren mentioned maybe there's currently a hold-up in the way it's all meant to work....

It sounds like most of all you guys could just do with some decent sleep (somehow), while you hold on until the NDIS funding (including potential for some parental respite) eventually can come through...
 

T.S Quint

Coach
Messages
14,436
That's awful to hear :(

I've been clinically depressed since I was 15 (I think my childhood of living in different countries every few years did me a lot of favours, but it also messed me up a bit psychologically), and I've been diagnosed with ADSD since I was 30.

The lack of sleep compounds both issues.

Incompletely understand that kids will give you a rough trot, in terms of sleep.

But my boy will give me 2 good nights in a row, and we think we've sorted out the issue, and then he goes months where he wakes up every 40 minutes.

Not only is it not good for me, but it cannot be good for him, either.

I honestly see no light at the end of the tunnel - not to be melodramatic, but it's seemingly interminable.

And nothing seems to work.

When we were reading up on raising a child who is neuro divergent, all the literature kept repeating that it is hard, hard work - they don't understand the world like neuro typical people do, and have stimuli that set them off that most people can't understand.

And they were right.

Not to mention that he's probably tired, and lashing out at daycare because of it.

It's a mess at the moment.

Has his daycare centre applied for extra funding to provide extra help, giving him some one-on-one time with an educator?
If your son has been diagnosed then they should be able to get this.

I’m an educator myself and have had experience with children with various disorders, and getting that extra help is incredibly beneficial, not just for the child but for the staff and other children as well.

As for getting more sleep, it’s really tricky at times when you don’t have help. Do you and your wife give each other time on the weekends to catch up on sleep? Take a day off every once in a while just to rest? Have any friends who can stay with the kid for a couple of hours? Lack of sleep is really dangerous, and I hope you can sort something out soon. Best of luck mate.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
57,097
Has his daycare centre applied for extra funding to provide extra help, giving him some one-on-one time with an educator?
If your son has been diagnosed then they should be able to get this.

I’m an educator myself and have had experience with children with various disorders, and getting that extra help is incredibly beneficial, not just for the child but for the staff and other children as well.

As for getting more sleep, it’s really tricky at times when you don’t have help. Do you and your wife give each other time on the weekends to catch up on sleep? Take a day off every once in a while just to rest? Have any friends who can stay with the kid for a couple of hours? Lack of sleep is really dangerous, and I hope you can sort something out soon. Best of luck mate.

Daycare haven't done anything - they're waiting for the NDIS funding to come through.

The centre director actually admitted to my wife that they are under-qualified to handle neuro divergent children.

And now, it's (1) too late to get him into another centre, and (2) it would harm him to move him away from his routine, and friends.

I've been less than pleased with their efforts throughout all this, tbh.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
57,097
Daycare haven't done anything - they're waiting for the NDIS funding to come through.

The centre director actually admitted to my wife that they are under-qualified to handle neuro divergent children.

And now, it's (1) too late to get him into another centre, and (2) it would harm him to move him away from his routine, and friends.

I've been less than pleased with their efforts throughout all this, tbh.

To expand on this - they keep calling me, and telling me he is "having a meltdown".

I've asked them to refrain from using that term, and I've told them that I sympathise that they're dealing with him in one of his bad moods - but he can't help it. He can't process the world the way neuro typical kids do. He needs reassurance that things will be ok.

They've been calling me two times a day, every day, for the last 3 weeks, asking me for tips on how to handle him when he is upset.

I have to keep excusing myself from work to take these calls.

I'm not qualified in any way to go e that sort of advice - all I can do is say what works at home.

And then for them to tell me, "We are actually not qualified to help kids with ASD," why did they accept him into their care?

It's all so very frustrating.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
57,097
@Eelementary i don’t know where you are geographically, but it might be worth at least a chat to these people.



I live in Penrith, but I will reach out to them.

Thank you so much.
 
Last edited:

T.S Quint

Coach
Messages
14,436
To expand on this - they keep calling me, and telling me he is "having a meltdown".

I've asked them to refrain from using that term, and I've told them that I sympathise that they're dealing with him in one of his bad moods - but he can't help it. He can't process the world the way neuro typical kids do. He needs reassurance that things will be ok.

They've been calling me two times a day, every day, for the last 3 weeks, asking me for tips on how to handle him when he is upset.

I have to keep excusing myself from work to take these calls.

I'm not qualified in any way to go e that sort of advice - all I can do is say what works at home.

And then for them to tell me, "We are actually not qualified to help kids with ASD," why did they accept him into their care?

It's all so very frustrating.

I can see why it's frustrating for you. It's frustrating enough for me to even read this.
There are plenty of training courses that are available for their educators to attend to become better at working with children with ASD and handle these situations. They are just being lazy and/or cheap.

He certainly does need better quality of care, both for his benefit and for your peace of mind. It's probably not affordable to hire someone just for one-on-one care, which is understandable. I would advise you to put your name down at another centre (or two or three) and hopefully a place opens up for him sometime soon, as this place he is at doesn't seem like they doing what they need to.

Also, just know that they can't just kick him out of the centre. This link might be helpful to you:

"It is also states that it is unlawful for early education providers to refuse a child’s enrolment or limit their attendance and participation in childcare services due to their disability.

Early childhood education providers are also required by law to make reasonable adjustments to their procedures and environments in order to meet the needs of a child with disability. These adjustments could include providing specialised resources equipment to support a child’s learning. It could also include training for educators and other staff so they have a strong understanding of autism and how to effectively educate your child."

https://www.autismawareness.com.au/... states that,services due to their disability.
 

Gronk

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
77,376
Spud has spoken about his anxiety and how it is impacting is day to day stuff.

=============

Rugby league great Mark Carroll has responded to questions about his voice during broadcasts as one of the toughest men to lace a boot continues his fight against suspected CTE.

Carroll went public last year with his diagnosis after going to see a neurologist for a PET scan, which sparked calls for the NRL to fund brain tests for all former players who believe they may have symptoms of the "deadly disease", which can only be formally verified via autopsy.

The revelation sparked an outpouring of support for Carroll amid a wave of greats of the game coming forward and sharing their own battles with suspected CTE, which stands for chronic traumatic encephalopathy, and is a form of dementia caused by repeated head blows.

Carroll is just one of a list of legendary players like Wally Lewis, Steve Mortimer and Mario Fenech, who have revealed in recent years that they suspect they're suffering the effects of the condition.

The former Panthers, Souths and Sea Eagles prop works as a commentator on radio and TV and recorded a video on social media to explain to league fans why his voice sounds different during broadcasts.

Carroll revealed he's suffering from anxiety as a result of the CTE, which leaves his body feeling tight and inevitably impacts his delivery on air.

"I just wanted to explain why I sound like this," he said on a video posted to Instagram. "I wish it was from getting hit in the throat like my great mate Geoff Toovey or Gary Larson. Unfortunately it's the symptoms of CTE.

"I've got anxiety. Why? I've got no idea. But I'm so tight right through the body and that's why I've got this bloody throat (issue).

"To the people who have texted me after hearing me on radio and on Fox, I'm doing my best to be the best."

He also revealed in the caption: "Just like to take a minute to thank you all for your support and kindness towards my recent and continuing struggles with CTE. If you or someone that you know is struggling or has similar symptoms/concerns please don't hesitate to reach out. Stronger together."

Carroll said he's receiving transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) which is a form of treatment for concussion and urged for government funding to help others attain it, not just former athletes.

"These people are doing worse than me. They can't get TMS," he added.

The former NSW front-rower has been vocal about changes to the way the NRL and governments deal with head trauma.

Earlier in the year, Carroll called for the NRL to extend its 11-day stand down rule as part of revamped concussion protocols to three weeks at least.

"The stand down is 11 days. That's bullshit," he said.

"If you're a boxer, it's at least 30 days if not longer. It used to be seven days in the NRL, then they went to 11 days because some metrics, determined by a computer, recommended that time frame.

"Longer stand downs will hurt clubs and their rosters but it's in the best interests of the player.

"It should be at least three weeks, what's 11 days if a player has been diagnosed with a concussion? It's not long enough."

LINK
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
57,097
Also, @Eelementary,

I'm not sure about helping the sleeping habits, but there are specialised babysitters who work with children who have ASD that you can hire. Even just for a few hours every couple of weeks to give you a much needed break.

https://www.babysits.au/special-needs/

This is amazing!

Thank you!

I've suspected for some time that his poor sleep quality is contributing to his poor moods, but all the sleep training methods I've tried don't work.

I'll give these a go.
 
Top