1. Newcastle Knights. They stand for all that is evil. Drug scandals, vicious thugs, drug scandals, the bleakest city in the entire galaxy and even the odd drug scandal. Oh and Kurt Gidley.
2. Sydney Roosters. The transit lounge is back. It was once said by some anonymous internet user that the Sydney Roosters have the best junior nursery in the NRL - the Canberra Raiders. I think that says it all. A poaching, vacuous, vile club, who if forced to do any junior development of their own would likely die of anaphylactic shock.
3. Melbourne Storm. Before the salary cap scandal, they were thugs. Equally adept at the grapple, the chicken wing or the crusher, they flaunted the rules on (and as we found out later, off) the field with unbelievable disdain.
4. Manly Sea Eagles. They're Manly. Isn't that enough?
5. Gold Coast Bitans. Whinging, moaning, despicable club. Often try to use the media to influence judiciary proceedings - usually with bald-faced lies, and are apparently leaving their players severely under-nourished, resulting in the likes of William Zillman mistaking an arm for a leg of ham.
6. Parramatta Eels. The most self-important club in the NRL. Home to the most overrated players in the game. Don't tell them that though, or you'll never hear the end of it.
7. Brisbane Broncos. Never experienced the hard times. Think that missing the finals for the first time in 20 odd years is the worst it can get. Can't wait for them to fall.
8. South Sydney Rabbitohs. The self-appointed "pride of the league". The self-appointed "best forward pack in the NRL" . The self-appointed... you get the drift. There's a saying that when Souths are going well, the league is going well. On that basis, the league should be an old man with alzheimers who can only remember the good old days, completely unaware that those days were 40 years ago.
9. Wests Tigers. Arrogant is the word that most typifies this team. Plus Phil Gould is in love with them. Seriously, that's reason enough right there. The biggest milkers in the game as a team.
10. North Queensland Cowboys. The biggest whinger in the NRL as a captain. The biggest diver in the NRL at fullback. And worst of all, the most morally void coach in the competition. Coach Forktongue - AKA The Parasite - will quite happily look you in the eye and promise not to stab you in the back, all the while looking for the legal loophole that will allow him to do just that.
11. Canterbury Bulldogs. Two words: Jamal Idris. And yes Timmah, before you say it, it is pathetic that I hate a team based on one individual. But I don't care.
12. Cronulla Sharks. Seriously, just die already.
13. Penrith Panthers. I don't really hate the Panthers, not the team on the field anyway. But they are easily the worst run team in the NRL. An administration that - according to reports - loses players simply because they are unable to have contracts prepared on time is an adminstration that should not be in charge of an NRL club.
The Warriors and Dragons I don't mind too much.
