Non Footy Chat Thread II

[Twizzle]

Tiger Woods says alcohol was not factor in DUI, blames medication

Former world No.1 golfer Tiger Woods said alcohol was not a factor in his DUI arrest on Monday and instead blamed an unexpected reaction to prescribed medications.

Woods, who is currently sidelined from competition after having his fourth back surgery in April, said in a statement he took full responsibility for his actions and apologised to his family, friends and fans.

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/golf/ti...in-dui-blames-medication-20170530-gwg09z.html

 

[Gary Gutful]

DUI of the Tiger.

Officer: Do you realise your car was all over the place?

Tiger: What do you mean? This is the straightest I have driven it for years.

 

[Incorrect]

Officer: Do you realise your car was all over the place?

Tiger: What do you mean? This is the straightest I have driven it for years.

Let the golf jokes fly....

Officer - "Why do you have 2 pairs of pants with you?"


you know where I'm going with this.......


keep scrolling......



nearly there......




Woods - "In case I shit my pants from being so drunk you f**king honky merkin"


I'm sure you've all that one before......

 

[Gary Gutful]

Officer - Do you realise you were doing 100 miles per hour? That is faster than your clubhead speed.

 

[Dibs]

All you merkins on here need to mortgage your houses sell all your assets, cash in your bitcoins and invest in blockchains, I did and now I'm a gizillionaire and I wear Big Ben on my wrist. You all wish you were like me.

 

[Bazal]

Hmmmm. I don't think I believe you.

 

[Gary Gutful]

Hmmmm. I don't think I believe you.

Me either.

 

[Bazal]

Me either.

Well that counts as scientific consensus!

 

[strider]

I believe

 

[Bazal]

I believe

 

[Wicked Witch Of The West]

Looks a bit terroristy to me, id lock him up just to be safe.

 

[Wicked Witch Of The West]

 

[T.S Quint]

"Quaid....start the reactor!"

 

[Bazal]

Dennis or Randy?

Hopefully not Randy....he's a loose unit the bloke.

 

[I'm a loser baby...]

More fun though. If a few freaky Martians die then so be it.

 

[Gary Gutful]

 

[Gronk]

USA, Syria & Nicaragua.

A total 194 of the 197 parties to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change are now aligned to the Paris Agreement.

Actually Nicaragua refused to sign because they said that it was not tough enough - so they abstained under protest.

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-m...caragua-and-syria-only-countries-not-sign-pa/

Thank f**k we have merkins like Trump and fellow Republican congresman from Michigan Tim Walberg, a member of the House Committee on Energy and Commerce who said at a town hall meeting on Friday that God will “take care” of climate change if there’s ever a “real problem.”

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/201...limate-change-says-god-will-take-care-it.html

 

[Gary Gutful]

If you take the cynical view that he pulled out because he thought it would be a popular decision at home, it still makes no sense. 70% of people in the US believe climate change is real.

Clearly he wanted to tell them all to get f**ked...and for now, he can do that.

 

[Kornstar]

Just put all your eggs in the god basket and everything will be fine........

 

[Gronk]

Eric Abetz has already called for AU to pull the plug too.

Climate change is a "politically correct feel good exercise".