OT: Joke Thread

[Corkie292]

A guy walks into a Pub & sits at the bar waiting to be served. There isn't a barman, barmaid or anyone for that matter in sight. Suddenly after about a minute he hears a voice "Nice Tie mate". He looks around to see where the voice came from & can't see anyone. Then he hears the voice again "I really like your shirt too !" Again he looks around & can see no-one. He then hears "And that hair style really suits you". After about ten minutes a barman turns up & the guy orders a beer. He says to the barman "Mate I've been sitting here 10 minutes and you're the first person who's turned up" But I've been hearing this voice saying "Nice Tie mate, Nice Shirt mate & Nice Hairstyle mate" The barman points to a bowl on the bar and says "That'd be the nuts mate, they're complimentary !"

 

[Dragon_psa]

Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a Flower Show was in progress.
One leaned over and said to the other, "Life is so darned boring; we never have any fun anymore.
For $5.00 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid Flower Show!"
"You're on!" said the other old lady holding up a $5.00 bill.
The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely nude, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the Flower Show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.
The naked and smiling old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.
"I won 1st Prize as Best Dried Arrangement!"