Redneck Redfaces

[POPEYE]

Friday night at ANZ should be the blockbuster of the round with the two biggest heavyweights going hammer and tongs at each other . . . will have the finesse of a Pitbull at a kiddie's birthday party. I want the Rabbitohs to kick arse but I can't think of anything smart to help them

Wouldn't like to be Ben Barba without his 'Fri Night at Suncorp Inflatable Duck' when Darius attempts to sink his feeble attempts at defence. If Ben does get a run there will be the Scott/Smith hurt machines to contend with in front of a home crowd that has just about had enough of disappointments. Then there's the question of Benny's future versus that of Griffin

Same old one man band against an orchestra we all know and love tuning up for the finals. My description of the Cowboys is becoming as tedious as watching them, Manly at their second home will be worth betting irresponsibly on. Wonder how many scouts Green has out looking for someone to partner Thurston

Dragons are going to show the world they can't be treated like shit, their faces are going to be as red as their jerseys and the poor Warriors are going to be the victim of the fight against injustice. Then again if the boys from across the ditch aren't smart enough to follow coaching direction they mightn't be able to follow the script.

The boys from Bondi should be riding a wave, instead they're sitting out the back with their legs dangling, meanwhile the Sharks are circling not sure what sort of taste they'll get. The only thing predictable about the outcome is the arsewipes will have a field day. Flanagan is probably the least worried coach in the comp . . . ironic isn't it

No-one cares who wins in Canberra, the next episode of 'Stormy Days of Our Lives' far more interesting. We've seen weeks of Melbourne either being ripped off by all forms of authority or ripping off an opposing team as some sort of karma. The NRL is the main villain in the soapie with Saints an innocent bystander and the Storm in enough trouble without being made a scapegoat. The administrators of the game will either have to ban every player who offers the slightest shoulder or just put it down as another Melbourne peculiarity. Will Purple Rain fall from the clouded NRL Judiciary again or will be there be clear skies

We could be saved from uncertainty by marvellous Monday, firstly the game of the round with the two main resurgents that may pull League out of the shitty NRL hands. If everything goes to plan Tigers/Eels should be breath of fresh air, we need to not care too much who wins, enjoy the spectacle and cross our fingers against injuries

Then we should be witness to another revelation, Panthers v Titans, who would have guessed. No excuses for a poor crowd in this one even if Fox dishes in the area are like freckles on a redhead. Tyrone Peachey must be a rebel rouser or poor trainer, why else wouldn't this bloke be a permanent fixture. He has the aura of Cliffy Lyons about him, an irascible game breaker

 

[POPEYE]

Like participating in forums where payment isn't necessary for input and the real fun is derived from unprepared off the cuff contribution Rugby League should be kept just as simple. The new administration however is akin to doctors performing an operation being thwarted by complications . . . complications that jounalists thrive on and love to exacerbate.

Unfortunately, as in Staph infections, the side effects of all the new regimentation in the game are threatening to kill it. The NRL really only need to go back to basics in what is a basic form of entertainment, take scrums for instance that the great man Mortimer wants reinstated to their former combative glory.

Sorry Steve, making the scrums competitive will only make things worse, can you imagine supplying referees with even more dubious reasons to penalise. Scrums were designed for 2 reasons, one to stop teams rolling from one end of the field to the other without any chance of relinquishing possession. The other was to congregate the forwards in one place while the backs could take a turn.

So, the easy fix for what is a laughing stock is have scrums formed only by players wearing 9 to 17 on their backs. The 6 tackle rule takes care of turning over possession so no striking for the ball.

Two referees were designed to prevent confusion but confusion is a whole lot better than rampant conflicting human nature so we need to go back to one bloke being heralded for being inconspicuous. Let the video ref whisper quietly in his ear if he continually misses something.

Too many cooks spoil the broth and the VR should be used as a helper reviewing at normal speed, that way the referee won't be afraid to make a decision that if wrong is reasonably explainable. Slo-mo does to League what overdosing on anti-biotics does to the immune system.

In the old days of limited replacements there was a need to hurt the opposition to slow them down, nowdays with the current interchange hurting players is a waste of time and effort so the chance to remove ALL dangerous tackles should not be missed. Increased skill as a result will more than compensate for the demise of thuggery. The trick is to simplify the procedure of adjudicating and proportioning guilt

Just some ways of eradicating confusion and there are undoubtedly more, anything that keeps the ball moving and makes the blowing of a whistle necessary, not a Brownie point

 

[POPEYE]

Got to give it to blokes like Toovey, Bellamy and Bennett, not to mention other coaches who may not quite yet be as evidently accomplished masters of psychology. Toovey uses righteous indignation to perfection, aided by his diminuitive body housing an apparently enormous ticker. Love the way he convinces the arsewipes to mock his outbursts . . . the f**kwits actually believe they are spontaneous.

Bellamy's latest charade is leaking the suggestion he has had enough of the judiciary and may walk away, although only someone as IQ deprived as Buzz would believe that. His post match press conferences give a better insight to his command of reverse psychology. The thought of the most notoriously respected coach walking away is a lot cheaper than the fines risked by Tooves

Bennett has 'father figure' down pat, do it for the old man if not for yourself is as reliable as a mum visiting her son in prison. I haven't done the figures but it wouldn't surprise if officialdom would think more than twice before antagonising the patriarch, anyone who thinks Benny doesn't purposely perpetuate the role is delusional.

None of these three give a shit what the arsewipes think, nor do they particularly worry too much about the NRL heirachy who are in constant disarray, what they concentrate on is how they are perceived by the players they want to influence.

Hasler has his Dick Tracy character 'Mumbles', Madge is working on the Soup Nazi approach, Carty is now doing well with Eeyore, unfortunately Elliott would have done better with Puss'n'Boots' sword rather than the big imploring eyes . . . and so on

I've no doubt Arthur and Potter are working on something of their own as the results are showing but any coach who doesn't dabble in psychology may as well keep waiting for Santa

 

[POPEYE]

** Spoiler alert if you live in Qld **

How many weeks will Lyon get for his shoulder charge . . . that was a giggle

Maybe the linesman should have been running closer to Snake . . . missing the forward pass was a laugh

The video refs need a refresher course on obstruction . . . that wasn't funny

Manly were never going to lose anyway . . . wasn't in the script

 

[POPEYE]

All the recrimination aside as a team hopefully oblivious to it's surroundings you can't help but admire the Bulldogs' tenacity. Some people are saying they have a guardian angel in Greenberg and it's not fair they have the advantage of another El Masri who they only have to get close, but Hasler is winning with what he has available.

Again Graham had to sit on the ground like a losing mountain goat bumping heads for a female but you have to admit his brain is mostly cartilage and besides realistically what more damage can be done . . . had to feel sorry for Ennis though. The boring as dogshit game plan is coming up with dividends and Des has no choice anyway so I must admit I've run out of reasons to deny the mob from Drivethroughville.

Must say I'm losing a little faith in Madge, seems Inglis isn't much good at climbing brick walls and maybe he'd be better skirting the sides looking for a crack all the time . . . his hitups were a waste against the Dogs. Souths looked a little lethargic to me but all teams who battle CB are made to finish the game that way so credit where credit is due

I read Barba earned some of his money in the game I haven't watched yet because I knew the score and always wait for the ad-free version. Suppose Ben is scoring tries and after all that's all he's employed to do, ironic Inglis missed out . . . wonder what Mal thought of that. Then there was the Cowboys against another of the 3 Beagle Badboys, Seagles and Dogs are in just need Storm for a demon trifecta.

What can you say about Thurston's troop, every game is a circus. Maybe Johnathon should start slapping children instead of giving them his headgear, show the referees they won't turn the other cheek like Manly refuse to do. This Cowboy martyr thing is getting beyond a joke, can you imagine Tooves as coach of NQ . . . the Referee/Judiciary Room in the NRL castle has a very lumpy carpet

 

[POPEYE]

I rave on endlessly about that Pommie referee, what's his name again, ah yes, Richard Silverwood. Maybe for those who've never bothered to take any notice of him I should outline his attributes. Then again, people not taking notice of what he does is his biggest attribute, sort of speaks for itself.

The bloke's got a bit of a pot belly, doesn't cover the ground all that fast and is never seen in bright colours. He doesn't ponder much about anything, when he does blow the whistle he doesn't stand on a spot for long, just gets back to the defensive line probably because he doesn't want to get left behind.

Not attributes you may say but because he doesn't want to be noticed there's no need to sprint beside players, puff up his cheeks like a blowfish with a whistle in his mouth nor stick his nose in the air trying to make himself taller. You even have to listen carefully when he awards a try or penalty because you might think he's missed it.

Let's consider what he does do that we need. The thing I like best about the bloke is that he doesn't blow a penalty unless 90% of those watching think it justified, as a result he does miss a few that people with a patch over one eye want given. If the ball is suddenly on the ground and he's not sure why he will a lot of the time play on.

You would think such an apparently mild mannered bloke would be the target of players like Lyon and Ennis but strangely enough no-one seems game enough to remonstrate with him. I think that is because no-one considers him an idiot. For Silverwood to penalise a player for hand on the ball, which is Cummings' favourite, it would have to be blatant or a repeated offence after a warning.

The bloke wants us to enjoy the game like he does from the best seat in the house, he wants to be a life preserver not a f**king tugboat like our blokes. You can virtually guarantee he'll make mistakes but rarely anything that detrimentally changes the outcome of a game, he uses the video ref as an emergency spare tyre and he does all this on his Pat Malone

 

[POPEYE]

Well that wasn't so bad, can't prevent showponying from pocket referees but all in all Saturday went fairly well. Both games probably saw the best team win, any other results would have been down to luck more than anything else.

The Dragons were consistent in their effort and the Warriors spasmodic like a learner driver as usual. Price has the spine coming together nicely, just needs a settled #7 to compliment Rein/Widdop/Dugan. Doesn't hurt if the opposition keep kicking to Morris either.

Warriors have to put Tomkins into 5/8 if they want to get any value, he just can't find a way through a straight line of Aussie defence, milling around in broken play is his go. I've no idea how a coach is going to fix the loose neutral connections in the rest of the team

If the Roosters hadn't regained lost momentum yesterday the Sharks would have won, Robbo's sigh of relief was louder than Gallen's welcome back. Both appear to be back in the bullying business and the best team on the day took home the bacon

 

[POPEYE]

What comes around goes around, Bellamy won't be smiling when he shouldn't this week. If the trend continues where so many games are going down to the wire maybe crowds will return, if they don't it can't because of lack of excitement . . . has to be because people think paying $80 a month for 8 games a week is better value

 

[POPEYE]

I'm glad only the young have time to waste being one-eyed, they can afford to go to bed in a state of despair when their team loses, there's plenty of next weeks or next seasons to contemplate. This rash of close games may be only an abberation or is it connected to the rule changes, teams that normally roll over or go on with it are finding equal ground . . . great for the game in reality

I hope the trend is not temporary, supporters need to spend more time on the edge of their seats, coaches may suffer more and referees may be even more maligned but we're past that now. Most of us by the end of each game are going to have to adjust to resignation and the 'sets completed' statistic is in need of breaking down further.

The new mandate for players is simply to hang on to the f**king ball, forget penalties which are now relegated to shit happens. Don't worry about game plans or officials, smart interchanges or fancy stamina training, just make sure the ball remains in captivity.

Bellamy's having a f**king whinge because it's his turn, nothing sinister or abnormal, just another coach finding it easier to pass the buck. The fact is he's depressed like at least one of the two coaches in every press conference who knows ball security is something he can do sfa about. Either of the Raiders or the Storm could have won easily if they didn't lose the ball

Lack of respect for ball security lost Cowboys the game against Manly, inept refereeing just a scapegoat. It wouldn't matter if the officials are firing blanks if players didn't supply the ammunition, the ball doesn't have a f**king mind of it's own, it's purposely shaped so it can be held on to.

Maybe with the new 'speeding up' of the game added desperation has been the catalyst for more dropped ball but one thing is for sure, the coach that finds a cure will win the comp

 

[POPEYE]

It appears League is undergoing yet another metamorphosis, it's becoming similar to the game Harry Potter played on a broomstick with ball security the key, even more haphazard because it's not scripted so the result can't be a foregone conclusion. If nothing else the entertainment value has gone to a whole new level so how bad can that be.

Here we are about to embark on Round 8 and there's only one team outside the 4, does it really matter how that was achieved, certainly not if you're working for one of the betting vultures. The biggest crowd this weekend was for last year's bottom feeders, who says the game is in tattters. Who cares if the rules have been replaced by a lottery, and we sit with anticipation like ancient Romans at the Colosseum waiting for the thumbs up or down from above.

Can't deny how fast this season has progressed because the uncertainty in everything has seen 80 minutes lapse in what seems 60. Not far away is the mighty Origin, how is that going to affected by the new adjudication. Wonder if it's not time for the Series to be refereed like an International with one referee, preferably an imported one without an agenda . . . can we afford to leave the pinnacle of our game to the mercy of 6 linesmen

 

[POPEYE]

To be honest the NRL has no reason not to emulate the oil companies, why try to please anyone when the product is captivating, Round 8 looks to have no certainties and to be realistic if most of the 'bad' refereeing decisions had gone the other way they'd still be regarded as bad by those now holding a smile. The NRL website team list doesn't tell us who's refereeing each game, since people are encouraged to bet responsibly it could be an important factor

Dragons/Roosters for instance is suddenly finger licking good when last year it could have been a spoon of olive oil, one of them will have to be ripped off to find a winner surely. If the game IS decided by the players it should be a blockbuster, some of the player matchups mouthwatering

I now officially consider Ben Roberts a jinx for any team he plays for so I'd rather he played against the Warriors, the more excuses for what I think may happen at AAMI the better. As it is anyway the Storm will have to battle their dreaded nemesis without the luxury of their usual cohesiveness. Ironically, the team that wins will have turned a corner, f**k knows where the new road will lead

How can you pick a Brisbane/Souths winner when the Broncos are restored to their ritualistic 10 point advantage home ground at the same time on the same night . . . blah, blah. Then again without looking it up the Rabbitohs from memory don't seem too fussed about the venue. Doesn't matter if I'm wrong, it's a new day, new rules, anything could happen in this one also

Believe it or not De Gois off the bench is my reason for tipping the Sharks against Penrith, another game that should be determined by the gods . . . or at least someone higher than the bleachers. Isaak, like Gallen somehow stirs my imagination, add this one to the list of possible close encounters

Heaven f**king forbid, Lui has been dropped, what are the Cowboys thinking . . . how do they expect to float in circles if they lose the anchor. The lineup still a shemozzle but may see a change of fortune although the Eels are smoking at the moment. The best NQ can hope for imo is to be close enough again when it counts

The most predictable game, not just because the Dogs are as boring as batshit but because they should beat the Knights comfortably, may still draw a respectable crowd. The supporters from SWS only like a winner and Knights supporters always turn up

Foran out for month and maybe some Glenn Stewart disconsolation all round may see a reinvigorated Raiders do the deed. Strong Brookie crowd however always seems to intimidate referees . . . although maybe the mob might have something other than winning on their mind

The venue may even have a bigger influence than the players, even more than the referees, in the Tigers/Titans game. Fulton is becoming a spiritual leader and he's returning as well so I'd be surprised if the Titans don't need the King's Men to put them back together again in Round 9

 

[POPEYE]

Crikey I hate naivity, the arsewipes seem to think it's much easier to earn a quid being sensational than forthright. It's like when you anticipate watching a documentary only to find some f**king loudmouth Yank is doing the commentary.

I'm going to ignore the so called 'Test' match against the Kiwis as a matter of principal, unless of course the New Zealanders win by way of some magical karma in which case I'll record the replay to keep for posterity. Every year I have a f**king whinge about pitting the Australian battle hardened team against a one-off pie in the sky mob of Kiwis being taken seriously.

The Rightful Scenario: The Kiwis might have had a slight chance in a best of three match contest if at the beginning of the year all their players were trained and 'camped' regularly before they met the combined 'Origin Australians'.

Thurston might even have been replaced by DCE if he had a shocker in the first game which Australia would have had to lose for that to happen considering Johnathon is almost always MOM in such encounters. All the bullshit about who gets a jersey in the Australian team might mean something.

As it is the Kiwis have as much chance as the ANZAC's had against the Turks so this one-off game is appropriate

 

[POPEYE]

Read with interest that Joel Caine reckons his mate Steve Price would have won '13 had he been coaching the Roosters as easily as Robbo did. I have nfi how true that would be but it does make you think about how much consideration is given to 'victims of circumstances'. Price can't lay claim to inventing Duges or Widdop but he certainly knows how to use them.

Robbo might have had something to do with nurturing a few Roosters in his early days but he came back at the right time and presented with the right squad to not be a candidate for 'first coach sacked', as Price has been. So, the question must be asked how would Robbo have gone with the '13 Dragons.

Even ol' mate Sheens ends up being a notable National Coach because he uses available players wisely. His time at the Tigers would definitely have been more enjoyable if Marshall didn't have to be mollycoddled, a case of a player too entrenched in folklore to adapt to changes.

Bellamy for instance invented Widdop and would have to recondition Marshall to his specifications, something Benji might not have considered. Flanagan might not be as harsh a disciplinarian and Marshall may even get away with only a small adjustment at the Sharks.

Coaches make players but players can destroy coaches, it depends on strength of will. Price imo wasn't previously afforded the luxury of equal opportunity, whether or not he has or hasn't the ability to nurture players is beside the point. Mitchell Pearce had to wait almost too long to be coached properly, Brooks in the same hands may have been equally as disconcerted so it works both ways.

Like Abbott and Costello's 'Who's on First', nothing is as simple as it seems and Price could have paid the price for being a victim of circumstances, now circumstances are rewarding the time spent and the price was fair

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

Even ol' mate Sheens ends up being a notable National Coach because he uses available players wisely. His time at the Tigers would definitely have been more enjoyable if Marshall didn't have to be mollycoddled, a case of a player too entrenched in folklore to adapt to changes.

I have to disagree on this point. His last 5 years or so with the Tigers was littered with endless examples of players being put out of position, week in and week out in some bizarre dance to achieve who knows what - certainly not aiming to win footy games, that's for sure.

Examples include (but are not limited to)
John Morris at 7
Bronson Harrison in the front row
always carrying a utility back on a small bench
An obsession with signing backrowers when frontrowers were needed
Playing said backrowers in the front row.

It went on and on. For years. A couple of good years in 2010 and 2011 papered over the cracks for a bit with good runs into the semis but it could only go on for so long. His time at the club had come, and Sheens has left at a time when we needed change, both in terms of the playing roster and the boys club attitude playing favourites that had become ingrained in the place.

I certainly doubt that the setup we had 2 years ago would have been one that all the talented juniors would want to sign up with for 3 year contracts. The future looks bright due to the changes that have been made.

 

[POPEYE]

You have to grant me a certain amount of poetic licence although I'm not convinced Sheens wasn't forced into extraneous situations not entirely of his own volition. It might not be accurate comparing circumstances with Sheens to Price especially since I've always tried to paint a better picture of Price because I believe he's been maligned.

I blamed Sheens' inability to understand what mistakes his mob were making because he watched the game from Recaro's on the sideline with a one-dimensional view of Benji's shortcomings . . . I prefer the Jack Gibson approach where the cake is made in the preparation, not the cooking

Oh, and because I think Hayne should be at centre, at least in big games . . . probably Sheen's most noteworthy achievement

 

[POPEYE]

Roosters can't seem to take a trick although losing Maloney to injury could have come at a worse time, maybe he and Jennings will be right when it counts. A 20 point margin might not be the norm any longer but the Dragons weren't allowed to play at their best by an Easts most of us expected to rip, shit or bust.

Thumbsuckers are going to dwell on Melbourne's inefficiency but naturally I prefer to liken Friday's NZ Warriors to Zulu warriors, marvellous what a little never say die and cohesion will accomplish. The Storm are struggling because all teams are stepping up to the mark in every NRL game. Being left behind is the new danger in what is looming as the most competitive season in recent memory.

As a collective I reckon Souths are the dumbest group of footballers in the League. I'd prefer to think of Brisbane as super heroes enduring to movie's end rather than see a physically talented Rabbitohs play like bunnies. Forget the inept Badger finale, the game was always going to be a Toad Hall with the ridiculous penalties he found leading to Bronco tries . . . he should do the cooking and send his missus to referee.

 

[Jason Maher]

The Roosters-Dragons game was men vs boys. The Roosters forwards monstered ours from pillar to post. We're certainly a better team this year, but until we fix our under-sized pack by purchasing front rowers rather than an endless slew of back rowers, we won't be contenders. Price getting over his love affair wih Dan Hunt is one step he could take to fixing things this year.

 

[POPEYE]

So many words from you how could I disagree. Must say though the way the Dragons are playing opposition heavyweight packs have no choice but to step up, not always easily done, yesterday from the Roosters was the exception that last year was the rule because there were games when teams could coast.

If the Dragons' smaller pack can play every game without the need to coast intensity will win them more than their fare share. Stamina is the key in this unusal season

 

[POPEYE]

Cowboys did look better without Lui didn't they? Maybe I've been wrong all along, maybe NQ need to be unique, concentrate on letting Thurston be the Ring Master. Johnathon seems to play the same no matter if he carries a team or compliments it so all the Cowboys need do is challenge the remainder of the team to match his enthusiasm.

Lui seemed to be a spanner in the works, maybe any player attempting to help Thurston direct the team would be a negative. I'm now resigned to the fact the northerners will live or die along with the health of one man, the mob would have to oust him if they wanted a different structure. The Eels played well enough to win last night but the Cowboys were drover's dogs following one master . . . a bushman in every respect

In the other game that interested me it seems the bloke the Sharks appear to be waiting on is missing the boat too often, with everything this mob are enduring the last thing they need is the instability Carney brings. Cronulla are relying on ad-lib, entertaining it may be but a wasted effort more times than not.

Fifita may come good, Gallen may stay healthy, Carney may do something, Robson may add cohesian . . . maybe not all at the same time. Luke Lewis coming back is a perfect example of the 'bandaid where stitches are required' syndrome. Intensity will never replace stability no matter how good the players

 

[Jason Maher]

So many words from you how could I disagree. Must say though the way the Dragons are playing opposition heavyweight packs have no choice but to step up, not always easily done, yesterday from the Roosters was the exception that last year was the rule because there were games when teams could coast.

If the Dragons' smaller pack can play every game without the need to coast intensity will win them more than their fare share. Stamina is the key in this unusal season

Intensity? What intensity? We get flogged in running metres week on week because we sit back and let teams run at us instead of getting up in their faces. Our opponents can rely on an easy 50m gain every set without even trying. We have zero line speed. That is not intensity.