Star Wars The Last Jedi *** SPOILERS ***

[nöyd]

I am a Star Wars fan, that is to say a fan of the movies. What I type below may trigger some EU nerds, but I just can't unsee the cringe.

BB-8 - what the f**k - driving an AT-ST? Turning a droid into a pokie? And did I see Poe tickling the belly of a droid like it's a dog? Spew.

Luke Skywalker - pardon the ignorance but how exactly did he die? Why did he die? Did he have a bad migraine? AIDS? Parvo virus? Just lame. Easy to see why Mark Hamill is mostly a voice actor now. Why did they completely neuter him by having him turn into Tony Stark and hologram his big showdown with Ben Solo? I found myself wondering why Leia couldn't sense that Luke was nearby when he appeared in the cave? And I got my answer pretty quick - he wasn't even f**king there. Yuck.

Rey's parents - junk traders who sold her for drinking money. Really. Sounds like an episode of Struggle Street. What aroused the average Star Wars fan into watching this dross was the finding out of who Rey's parents are. And Rian Johnson lands on a couple of nobody's? Just ewwww.

Phasma is just a WOFTAM, less said the better.

Gee I thought Finn was going to die and I was hoping for just as much. Sucks.

My daughter was meant to go with me to see it but she was ill and couldn't go. I feel like she knew something I didn't.

 

[Danish]

Can you summarise this post in a single comment please? I normally scroll right past your crap.

Oh I think you read it just fine

 

[umina panther]

No where near as good as TFA but probably not as bad as Rogue One. Will need to watch it a few more times

 

[Danish]

I am a Star Wars fan, that is to say a fan of the movies. What I type below may trigger some EU nerds, but I just can't unsee the cringe.

BB-8 - what the f**k - driving an AT-ST? Turning a droid into a pokie? And did I see Poe tickling the belly of a droid like it's a dog? Spew.

Anything droids do in these movies is just fodder for kids, and yep its jarring as hell as an adult.

I actually found his "fixing" of Poe's X-Wing through the meticulous act of ramming his head into the circuit board to be the most grating.

Oh, but I would totally pat BB-8 like a dog if I had one in real life. Thats just human nature right there.

Luke Skywalker - pardon the ignorance but how exactly did he die? Why did he die? Did he have a bad migraine? AIDS? Parvo virus? Just lame. Easy to see why Mark Hamill is mostly a voice actor now. Why did they completely neuter him by having him turn into Tony Stark and hologram his big showdown with Ben Solo? I found myself wondering why Leia couldn't sense that Luke was nearby when he appeared in the cave? And I got my answer pretty quick - he wasn't even f**king there. Yuck.

I don't think he died as such. I think he basically merged with the force like Obi Wan and Yoda did in the original movies, hence why his body disappeared. He'll be force ghosting himself around Ep IX for sure. It seemed that projecting himself across the galaxy took a lot out of him though, so that might have been enough to kill him too perhaps?

I actually liked that the big reveal was he was never there to begin with. It was the perfect decoy, and also explained why Luke was not actually fighting back against Kylo Ren (since he couldn't). Leia may have pegged him for not actually being there from the outset, since he wouldn't have felt his touch when they were talking. If Luke had physically confronted Kylo and fought him, or worse yet simply presented himself to be killed as a distraction, it would have been too similar to Obi Wan in A New Hope IMO.

Rey's parents - junk traders who sold her for drinking money. Really. Sounds like an episode of Struggle Street. What aroused the average Star Wars fan into watching this dross was the finding out of who Rey's parents are. And Rian Johnson lands on a couple of nobody's? Just ewwww.

Part of me thinks it was just a big red herring, and we'll find out more in ep IX. IMO we'll find out that what Kylo Ren said was true, but that those were not her birth parents or something similar.

If not, I'm not really tied to everyone with a connection to the force having to be related to the Skywalker bloodline somehow. Surely you can just be born with it randomly.

Take the kid at the end for example, he quite obviously force grabs the broom leaning against the wall when he goes outside to start sweeping. I doubt some little slave kid comes from a jedi bloodline

Phasma is just a WOFTAM, less said the better.

Definitely the Bobba Fett of the new trilogy, without the weird fandom

Gee I thought Finn was going to die and I was hoping for just as much. Sucks.

I wasn't hoping for it, but to me it would have been a fitting arc for his character. Most modern movies suffer too much from being unwilling to kill off anyone important and that would have set this movie apart

 

[bileduct]

Oh I think you read it just fine

The words kinda blurred together through lack of interest.

 

[bileduct]

Definitely the Bobba Fett of the new trilogy, without the weird fandom

Captain Phasma is more comparable to Darth Maul, except Darth Maul actually got a moment to shine. Phasma was just f**king stupid in both films.

Boba Fett was never supposed to be a major player, but gained an immense popularity that demanded an examination of his past - which obviously ended up being a big mistake.

Disney attempted to create a character with Boba Fett-like appeal but failed miserably because nobody gives a shit about her.

 

[Generalzod]

What did people do before Rotten Tomatoes?

Most of the reviewers would have grown up with 90 minute Betamax tapes of Explorers, BMX Bandits or Ice Pirates.

Hell classics like Tron, Big Trouble In Little China and Highlander were rubbished by reviewers in the day. With all the films I've bought and seen I don't think I ever gave a shit what a reviewer said or thought.

Blade Runner....

 

[Generalzod]

Captain Phasma is more comparable to Darth Maul, except Darth Maul actually got a moment to shine. Phasma was just f**king stupid in both films.

Boba Fett was never supposed to be a major player, but gained an immense popularity that demanded an examination of his past - which obviously ended up being a big mistake.

Disney attempted to create a character with Boba Fett-like appeal but failed miserably because nobody gives a shit about her.

Beaten by a cleaner...Even so it was good pop corn film.....

 

[Lemon Squash]

Walked out of the film this morning and the only thing I was thinking was did I actually watch the same movie everyone else has been fapping over??

I’m glad after reading some of the other reviews here I’m not alone.

I’m not some super geek who only praises the original trilogy and bad mouths everything else. Personally I actually think as good as the original series are, they are a tad overrated and the prequels even though they weren’t great copped way too much criticism than what they deserved.

The Force Awakens was a lot of fun and even though I thought it was dumb that they pretty much used the exact story line from A New Hope I still enjoyed the movie and was really looking forward to this one.

Maybe it’s just the super hype behind it and the widespread beating off session it recieved with the early reviews that I was expecting this mind blowing film and it was really lacklustre imo. I sat there thinking ‘okay when is something going to happen?’

I can honestly say the only thing I really enjoyed about it was the Yoda scene.

Benicio Del Toro was wasted imo I was waiting for a double-double cross or something, it was too predictable.

This is awful to say but jeez I’m glad Carrie Fisher isn’t around anymore because watching her on screen was excruciating.

Snoke? Still don’t know who he is, where he came from, who trained him and now that he’s dead we probably won’t know because his character is obsolete. What a waste.

Humour? What humour? I barely chuckled tbh, most of it just came off as cheesy.. I just don’t think it works in Star Wars unless it’s really dry and witty nothing in this film was.

So many other thinks that irked me, I could write about it all day.

 

[nöyd]

Definitely the Bobba Fett of the new trilogy, without the weird fandom

It seems like Abrams and Johnson both see something in the character, because... it's a tall chrome stormtrooper, therefore it is different/better?

When she appeared, instead of being like "oh cool, I forgot about her" I was more like "oh, she's in this, that's right".

No doubt we will see her spin-off in about 7 to 10 years in a Netflix movie.

I didn't hate the movie, but with hearing all about how it was the best since ESB, sorry but nah. I liked the action scenes, especially the sound in the first 15 or so minutes. And I truly liked the Porgs. They were given to us in small doses, and not forced (!) upon us like a certain nameless Gungan. Where can I pick up a plush Porg? My daughter would love one for Christmas.

Luke joining the dots and emotionally reacting to Chewie being there but not Han. Cool. Adam Driver was the standout for me, I thought Snoke's death was pretty f**king cool, but like Lemon Squash said - who the f**k was he? Where the f**k did he come from?

Leia force-flying back to the ship whilst being unconcious (?) left a little bit of a bad taste. It reminds me of R2 in the original trilogy - sure he's advanced and quite technically proficient, but when we go back to AOTC & ROTS he starts spewing oil and starting fires, and FLYING!?!? Now Leia is using the force like she has used it all along? Uh?

I'm over-analysing it, I know, but f**k it feels cathartic to debate this shit.

 

[Danish]

Captain Phasma is more comparable to Darth Maul, except Darth Maul actually got a moment to shine. Phasma was just f**king stupid in both films.

Boba Fett was never supposed to be a major player, but gained an immense popularity that demanded an examination of his past - which obviously ended up being a big mistake.

Disney attempted to create a character with Boba Fett-like appeal but failed miserably because nobody gives a shit about her.

Darth Maul was the most wasted character in movie history.

Absolutely everyone f**king loved him in the lead up to Phantom Menace. Crazy badass with horns who is taking on 2 goddamned jedis with a f**king DOUBLE LIGHTSABER?!?! My excitment to see the new darth vader of the series was palpable. He then murders Qui Gon Jinn, and is suitably kicking Obi Wan's ass.....

Then he just stands there like a f**king genius and gets cut in half. Just awful.

Phasma at least never seemed to be a primary character. More just a side quest for Finn to do battle with. She put up less of a fight in the end than the eternal badass TR-8R.

It was a little strange that she was even alive in this movie tbh. Even if Finn, Han, and Chewy didn't kill her themselves in TFA, surely she'd have been executed by the First Order for meekly disabling their planetary shields?

 

[vvvrulz]

Anything droids do in these movies is just fodder for kids, and yep its jarring as hell as an adult.

I actually found his "fixing" of Poe's X-Wing through the meticulous act of ramming his head into the circuit board to be the most grating.

Oh, but I would totally pat BB-8 like a dog if I had one in real life. Thats just human nature right there.

I had no problem with BB-8 driving an AT-ST - the characters themselves played off it with a 'huh' expression, but it asks the question, why the hell shouldn't a droid be able to operate it? In fact they should be even better at it.

They did overplay the BB-8 card in general though, taking out prison cards with casino coins was just plain silly. Droids in general have been overused all the way through starting from ROTJ - other than Rogue One, K-2SO was just a hoot.

I don't think he died as such. I think he basically merged with the force like Obi Wan and Yoda did in the original movies, hence why his body disappeared. He'll be force ghosting himself around Ep IX for sure. It seemed that projecting himself across the galaxy took a lot out of him though, so that might have been enough to kill him too perhaps?

I actually liked that the big reveal was he was never there to begin with. It was the perfect decoy, and also explained why Luke was not actually fighting back against Kylo Ren (since he couldn't). Leia may have pegged him for not actually being there from the outset, since he wouldn't have felt his touch when they were talking. If Luke had physically confronted Kylo and fought him, or worse yet simply presented himself to be killed as a distraction, it would have been too similar to Obi Wan in A New Hope IMO.

I agree with this.

I thought it was a nice addition to the mythos around the force, which is supposed to be loosely interpreted as the unquantifiable energy binding everything (don't start me on midichlorians). It was a bit like Kylo Ren stopping a blaster shot mid-air, we haven't seen it before but why isn't it possible to project an image of yourself using the force?

I look at Luke's death to be delivering the last of his life force into that decoy, lets not forget he was already a broken man who banished himself waiting to die. A lot of reviewers are ripping into this 'new' Luke, but again I have no issue with him. In the OT he was already impulsive, emotional and easily discouraged, it constantly required mentor figures to step in and guide him, and they're all long dead before the Kylo Ren events. I think it's well within his character to give up and become a recluse after failing the next generation of Jedi.

I do wish they gave more screen to Kylo's rampage on the temple though, even if fleeting, that was an opportunity missed.

Part of me thinks it was just a big red herring, and we'll find out more in ep IX. IMO we'll find out that what Kylo Ren said was true, but that those were not her birth parents or something similar.

If not, I'm not really tied to everyone with a connection to the force having to be related to the Skywalker bloodline somehow. Surely you can just be born with it randomly.

Take the kid at the end for example, he quite obviously force grabs the broom leaning against the wall when he goes outside to start sweeping. I doubt some little slave kid comes from a jedi bloodline

I thought the Rey's parents card was very well played, it was a great twist to everyone's anticipation of which family she's from. This is a step away from the Lucas method of tying absolutely everything together, why does she have to be a Skywalker, Solo or a Kenobi?

I too think there's more too it, and I hope its not just Kylo Ren lying.

Definitely the Bobba Fett of the new trilogy, without the weird fandom

They missed a huge trick with Phasma, Snoke and Hux.

All three were teased very nicely in TFA but this was the ground to now build on them and create something more compelling. Both died far too easily with no further depth and Hux became more or less comic relief.

One of my real gripes of the film.

 

[nöyd]

why does she have to be a Skywalker, Solo or a Kenobi?

She doesn't have to be a Skywalker, Solo, or Kenobi. My own belief (read: hope) was that she was somehow a descendant of Emperor Palpatine. How they would work that into the story I have no idea.

At the very least we know now that Luke is not the Last Jedi.

 

[Danish]

Adam Driver was the standout for me, I thought Snoke's death was pretty f**king cool, but like Lemon Squash said - who the f**k was he? Where the f**k did he come from?

I must be the only person who doesn't care who Snoke is. The Emperor's origins were never explained in the original movies after all. My take is he is just a Sith Lord from somewhere in the galaxy that made himself known once the emperor and vader were dead.

Part of the Sith mythology is they don't do well as a group, isn't it? Like they'll take on an apprentice, but ultimately they are just all out to kill each other as much as other jedi?

Leia force-flying back to the ship whilst being unconcious (?) left a little bit of a bad taste. It reminds me of R2 in the original trilogy - sure he's advanced and quite technically proficient, but when we go back to AOTC & ROTS he starts spewing oil and starting fires, and FLYING!?!? Now Leia is using the force like she has used it all along? Uh?

I'm over-analysing it, I know, but f**k it feels cathartic to debate this shit.

Leia's little force flying adventure is the only thing I just can't abide by in the movie. Everything else I give a pass to when it comes to convenient coincidences, surprise entrances by characters, etc.

She could have survived that attack a dozen different ways without needing to do that

 

[vvvrulz]

This is awful to say but jeez I’m glad Carrie Fisher isn’t around anymore because watching her on screen was excruciating.
.

Now this I really agree with.

I really didn't enjoy Leia in either TFA or this, I don't know whether it's just poor writing or that Fisher just couldn't bring it, but what happened to that feisty creature we know and love? Here she was haggard, tired and almost indifferent to what was going on around her. Even weirder given how sassy and full of energy Fisher usually was in the press.

Luke morphed into his old mentor, a bitter hermit but grumpier and for good reason.

Han, as the movie quoted, was Han - Ford's was just incredible as a shriveled out version of himself who in typical of Han style clearly learned nothing.

Too bad they didn't bring Luke and Han together, that would've been pretty epic.

 

[Caped Crusader]

It was a little strange that she was even alive in this movie tbh. Even if Finn, Han, and Chewy didn't kill her themselves in TFA, surely she'd have been executed by the First Order for meekly disabling their planetary shields?

There is a Marvel comic explaining this

Basically she framed another lower 1st order trooper for it and then executed him

 

[vvvrulz]

I must be the only person who doesn't care who Snoke is. The Emperor's origins were never explained in the original movies after all. My take is he is just a Sith Lord from somewhere in the galaxy that made himself known once the emperor and vader were dead.

Part of the Sith mythology is they don't do well as a group, isn't it? Like they'll take on an apprentice, but ultimately they are just all out to kill each other as much as other jedi?

I didn't really want a full on backstory, I can see that mostly being needless cringe.

But at least they could have taken a moment to explain how he became the leader and led the first order, or why he's so force strong (or is he?) even if the explanation is 'spawned from oblivion'.

This is mainly to aid the Kylo Ren story, at the moment it still makes no sense why he abandoned his family and chose the dark path for this manipulative old coot.

 

[nöyd]

oh, rip admiral ackbar as well

 

[bileduct]

This is awful to say but jeez I’m glad Carrie Fisher isn’t around anymore because watching her on screen was excruciating.

Yet almost all of the positive reviews of this film gush about how great she was onscreen.

She was f**king terrible. Wooden as f**k. The whole Mary Poppins scene made her character utterly ridiculous.

 

[Lemon Squash]

Yet almost all of the positive reviews of this film gush about how great she was onscreen.

She was f**king terrible. Wooden as f**k. The whole Mary Poppins scene made her character utterly ridiculous.

Yeh the countless years of abuse she put her body through not only claimed her life but her acting ability as well.