1. Jarryd Hayne (You want to play fullback why??)
2. Taulima Tautai (Did he even play? someone show him where the tryline is)
3. Krisnan Inu (A rare talent, but sadly wasted here)
4. Joel Reddy (Would he be playing 1st grade at a club where his father wasn't involed? me thinks not)
5. Tony Williams (Somebody wake him and tell him the ferry is about to leave)
6. Kristopher Keating (A deer in the headlights)
7. Brett Finch (Surely this is the only profession where you are rewarded the more mistakes you make)
8. Nathan Cayless [c] (A favorite son, why?)
9. Mark Riddell (Has had enough and cant wait to get to the old dart where the pints will be flowing)
10. Fuifui Moimoi (dosent know when to stop but cant make the others understand why)
11. Nathan Hindmarsh (What has he done to deserve this?)
12. Daniel Wagon (No penetration, no skills with the ball, can tackle, well, you have to have one virtue sometimes)
13. Chad Robinson (isnt big enough to play front row every week. Just give him the right numbered jersey)
INTERCHANGE
14. Matthew Keating (If you are going to play him, then do it)
15. Josh Cordoba (I am sure someone, somewhere would have taught him the meaning of knees and elbows)
16. Weller Hauraki (Cant tackle, or pass but can get through the line at least once a game. Trade him in for a thirstier model)
17. Brendan Oake (10 years of junior reps for what?)
18. Todd Lowrie (Lucky he knows the coach)
COACH: Michael Hagan (Everytime they show the Parra sheds at halftime the team looks like they are going to sleep, which would explain the lack of second half enthusiasm. Move your arms or something)