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Toby warned

Snoop Shark

First Grade
Messages
9,025
It’s brave of people to come about about their past but Im struggling to comprehend the link of some light hearted comments to victims of sexual abuse? I’m sorry I might be a bit arrogant but this really is taking the piss to a new level. If he said he was going to northies to look for some 8 year olds I might get the point you are trying to make, however it’s totally irrelevant to what exactly was said on TMJS. For all we know he might like the older and bolder type!
 
Messages
17,539
It’s brave of people to come about about their past but Im struggling to comprehend the link of some light hearted comments to victims of sexual abuse? I’m sorry I might be a bit arrogant but this really is taking the piss to a new level. If he said he was going to northies to look for some 8 year olds I might get the point you are trying to make, however it’s totally irrelevant to what exactly was said on TMJS. For all we know he might like the older and bolder type!
Oi no need to demonise people with incontinence like that. Shame on you
 

myrrh ken

First Grade
Messages
9,817
Poor Toby gets hung out to dry and Matty J and the lads who set him up carry on with their "old skool" humour and their ratings go up.
 

bluefox68

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
4,506
The interesting there here is not really what happened to Toby but how the forum has reacted.

Toby made an offhand comment which was meant to be taken lightly, humorously. Regardless of that, it should not have been said in this context. I agree that Toby seem like a decent, woman-focused fella; I heard the Chadcast; he respects the women in his life. It does seem disproportionate, the response by the NRL. I get that. That, to me, is a corporate response to a social problem; it's going to be inexact. Again, IMO, they need to do this, but it was heavy-handed. They could have back channelled it, but alas, its the front page.

The game has a problem with the objectification of women as objects for pleasure, AS DOES SOCIETY. And here in our microcosm, the forum, we have a society playing it out in real-time. Women are angry, and rightfully so. Speak to your partner, daughter, mother or neighbour. 1 in 6 women are sexually assaulted in their lives:" These figures rose to 1 in 6 women (17%, or 1.6 million) and 1 in 25 men (4.3%, or 385,000) when any sexual assault since the age of 15 was considered":Source 2020 Australian Institute of Health ad Welfare..find it here.

https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/domestic-violence/sexual-assault-in-australia/contents/summary.

Have a read and then construct an argument as to why things don't need to change. A DECENT ARGUMENT THAT DOESNT INCLUDE...WOKE...CANCEL. LEFT WING.Try being a human..or dare I say, a real man.

Yes, the response seems over the top, and ghoti comes in with a pretty decent counter opinion, and most of you shout him down for being too woke..or virtue signalling FFS. IF things are going to change, and change they must, then individual men need to change. I have mistreated women and objectified them a lot through my youth, often using them for mutual pleasure. Yes, women can enjoy casual, or partnered or whatever sex. Yes, they do talk about random hookups and the like. YAY!! But if the statistics are true and I would be willing to wager they are underreported, men on here, IN THIS FORUM OR MEN YOU KNOW, have caused some damage, we may not like it, but it has to be true. Think about it. Question your own behaviours and motives. Why pile on ghotti and claim "cancel culture".That's is as helpful as cancel culture itself. The truth will always lie in the middle. Go and speak to your wife/mother or daughter about it. about it. Why don't you tell them that not all men? or that all this talk about equality sounds like virtue signalling. Even better walk down the street with them and wolf whilst other women.

In this case of Toby, I don't think nor do really any of you think has was speaking facts. We all know that. But language matters. In the same week, thousands of women and some were marched to protest against sexual bias and assault. In the same week that Grace Tame gave her speech at the national press club. Take the time to watch it.


Watch that, then construct an argument as to why our sexual culture doesn't need to change. People will say, that's pedos, or I'm not like that. Well great, I f**king hope not. It starts with a conversation amongst men about how we treat women as receptacles for our cocks, not as equals with an emotional world, imagination and dreams, and desires like consensual, sometimes hot, sometimes anonymous sex. This is why the Toby comment needs to be held up. It's just insensitive in an angry climate. Look at the history fo the game regarding women, and as we all know, that is just a representation of how much of society is.
How the majority of this forum responded is way more shocking

So the comment has come out at the same time that the highest legal officer in the country had to defend an alleged rape. In the same month that 1000s of schoolgirls reported historical assault. At the same time as an alleged rape in the highest offices, yet you claim cancel culture. Grow up, forum men. If you give a shit, everyone should watch the Grace Tame speech, its thirty minutes of your life that should open your eyes. Everyone in politics talks f**king bullshit; this woman speaks the truth. In my circle of 6 male friends. 3 have been sexually abused. It happens to both men and women, but what I am trying to highlight is that the way we as individuals think about sex and women as objects, and the commodification of women through advertising and how men and women are raised on porn It needs to change.

Humour is good, and we need to laugh at all of it cause the world is f**king absurd. But at least be open to change, have a think next time you pile on to sexual innuendo or stare at a woman, or beat off to porn. It is not all men, but all men and some women need to evaluate how we respond to this. It's not going away, and nor should it.

Yeah, I'm a "progressive", a father of a daughter and a husband, and yeah, I have f**ked up all of those things, over time, due to the relentless pursuit of my seemingly one great need..sex. But it has and continues to change. I suggest you do the same, or at least if you don't give a fugg, out yourself to the women in your life. Give them the respect of being honest that you think all of this anger is "virtue signalling" and "woke bullshit". Yeah, it can "go too far" but ill tell you the truth, assault is way too far.

Question your self, or at the least tell the women close to you that you don't give a f**k about it and see how they respond. Have some integrity.
Thanks, Sladden Road...

Yeah, I might have been one of the ones who responded with a knee-jerk...!!!

I reckon we all agree (I hope we do) that women (and girls) need to be treated with respect.

Unfortunately, comments (even) made in jest do contribute to women feeling ‘less’ and even scared.

Of course, there is no way Toby was even implying those things, but it is important to be careful.
 

Goblin_Shark

Juniors
Messages
474
Poor Toby gets hung out to dry and Matty J and the lads who set him up carry on with their "old skool" humour and their ratings go up.
Not true. Fletcher already came out and said it was not fair and what it will create is boring robotic interviews.
If I’m the club I go to another level and ban the players altogether for 2021.

Would be a ratings hit for abdo
 

bluefox68

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
4,506
Poor Toby gets hung out to dry and Matty J and the lads who set him up carry on with their "old skool" humour and their ratings go up.
Basically because they are not employed by the NRL.

Wouldn’t be surprised if some official complaints have been made!
 

Frenzy.

Post Whore
Messages
51,344
It’s brave of people to come about about their past but Im struggling to comprehend the link of some light hearted comments to victims of sexual abuse? I’m sorry I might be a bit arrogant but this really is taking the piss to a new level. If he said he was going to northies to look for some 8 year olds I might get the point you are trying to make, however it’s totally irrelevant to what exactly was said on TMJS. For all we know he might like the older and bolder type!

But they do and that's what matters. It's because "we" don't understand that stigma, judgemental attitudes and shame exist. It's not about Toby. You want it to be Snoop but it's not. We all know Toby is a great guy, brought up by women, looks after mum etc. He did a dumb thing - his lack of intent doesn't change it being dumb but the type of posts we've had in here show how these dumb things footy player say, maybe innocently, can still prove to be damaging and cause re traumatisation in those that still haven't been able to speak out

It wouldn't come up otherwise
 

sladden road

Juniors
Messages
2,250
It’s brave of people to come about about their past but Im struggling to comprehend the link of some light hearted comments to victims of sexual abuse? I’m sorry I might be a bit arrogant but this really is taking the piss to a new level. If he said he was going to northies to look for some 8 year olds I might get the point you are trying to make, however it’s totally irrelevant to what exactly was said on TMJS. For all we know he might like the older and bolder type!
No where did I say that Tobys comments were linked to pedophiles. I agreed Toby was insensitive at worst.

What at I was mainly replying to was the comments aimed at ghotti and his post. They were deriding him for taken a stance.I also referenced the nature of the general critique in the forum towards the matter, from my point of view.

I brought the conversation to a outline of the nature of sexual assault because that what is on the national agenda at the moment and therefore why Toby was censured. No where did I liken his comments to pedophelia . I brought the Grace Tame speech into it as a reflection on a societal view on sexual assault and victims to try and illustrate why women are pissed off ; and therefore why Toby was censored.
Your comment is exactly the kind of crap that most people claim cancel culture does ie: “1 plus 2 equals 63000...and your all f**ked and I’m no longer listening, don’t tell me what to do”
No where did I say his comments condone pedophilia.
I read this forum all the time and have done since nearly the start. I can’t really be bothered to contribute that much. It doesn’t need my two cents, it does fine without me. Today it did and I stand by it.
 

The_Frog

First Grade
Messages
6,390
still languishing in his brother's shadow.
I don't know whether this is the case or not, but surely you wouldn't make it into a comedy punchline if it were a serious problem for you. He seems to be the more successful of the two in life after footy.
 

myrrh ken

First Grade
Messages
9,817
Not true. Fletcher already came out and said it was not fair and what it will create is boring robotic interviews.
If I’m the club I go to another level and ban the players altogether for 2021.

Would be a ratings hit for abdo

Yeah that's what I mean. They get to carry on with the status quo. No apology for getting Toby in the shit.
 

AJB1102

First Grade
Messages
6,339
I brought the conversation to a outline of the nature of sexual assault because that what is on the national agenda at the moment and therefore why Toby was censured.

Anyone watching TMJS doesn't give a f**k about "the national agenda" at that time, if at all.
 

Quicksilver

Bench
Messages
4,361
But they do and that's what matters. It's because "we" don't understand that stigma, judgemental attitudes and shame exist. It's not about Toby. You want it to be Snoop but it's not. We all know Toby is a great guy, brought up by women, looks after mum etc. He did a dumb thing - his lack of intent doesn't change it being dumb but the type of posts we've had in here show how these dumb things footy player say, maybe innocently, can still prove to be damaging and cause re traumatisation in those that still haven't been able to speak out

It wouldn't come up otherwise

Anyone can take offence at anything.

I’d be more inclined to go with the reasonable person test.
 

AJB1102

First Grade
Messages
6,339
Anyone can take offence at anything.

I’d be more inclined to go with the reasonable person test.

Who decides what's reasonable though?

I think I pass that and would laugh off suggestions Toby's joke was offensive. Others would disagree and I assume think they too were a reasonable person.
 

Frenzy.

Post Whore
Messages
51,344
Who decides what's reasonable though?

I think I pass that and would laugh off suggestions Toby's joke was offensive. Others would disagree and I assume think they too were a reasonable person.

Exactly. One person's reasonable is the next person's lunatic.

What matters is the individuality or perception and no one can simply change someone's perception. Perception is reality to any individual.
 

Quicksilver

Bench
Messages
4,361
You know what... this is all shit. People have real shit going on in their lives and this being newsworthy is offensive.

Yep. Vague semantics, deliberately taken out of context.

There’s a million things to be mad or sad about, including actual abuse, inequality, violence and oppression.

This is scraping the barrel. Elevating dumb shit like this just creates fatigue and skepticism in the general population. It leads the average person to cynicism and dismissal of larger issues.
 

Frenzy.

Post Whore
Messages
51,344
I don't know whether this is the case or not, but surely you wouldn't make it into a comedy punchline if it were a serious problem for you. He seems to be the more successful of the two in life after footy.

What comedy punchline? I'm dead serious that MJ lives in AJs shadow
 

Frenzy.

Post Whore
Messages
51,344
Yep. Vague semantics, deliberately taken out of context.

There’s a million things to be mad or sad about, including actual abuse, inequality, violence and oppression.

This is scraping the barrel. Elevating dumb shit like this just creates fatigue and skepticism in the general population. It leads the average person to cynicism and dismissal of larger issues.

Yep

CLOSE THE THREAD
 
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