Using the word gay in that context - is gay!!
You ought to test out that alignment, or forever live your life as weird.
Hmmm, about Sonny's "body" (hey its like you are sexualising it here, i
bet the person who originally wrote what you are refering to wasn't)....yeah well his "body", seems to be a big thing with you.
I reckon you sound like the type of person who might be shy about their body, its probably a little bit fatter than most, and probably a little less muscled. I call those people soft or marsh-mellows. Or Fatty's. I'm not calling you that. Aethleticism is something to be admired, and importantly, should not be mixed up with being "gay" just because you admire it or aspire to be it. You really need to mature it up, and sort out your sexuality. It sounds like women would not find you attractive.