Western Pasifika Bid News

[blue bags]

What special sounds effects played on ground annoucement speaker's. When porcupines score points

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Massive update for the Western Pasifika Porcupines as they're inclusion as team 18 in the NRL seems set in stone.

Super fan and well known comedian Kenny Bania seems set to invest millions of Deutsch Marks into his beloved Porcupines:

"I have followed the Porcupines since I was 3 months old, they're the best, Jerry, the best!". This masthead understands that Bania is prepared to invest a bowl of soup and an armani suit in the glamour side.

Club CEO Dick Dickinson-Dickson told this masthead that a whole pallet of Porcupines merchandise had been airlifted to Mr Bania's condominium in LA: "Bania knows a lot of people. He's friends with Vanilla Ice, Barney the Dinosaur and Corey Feldman.

"Corey Feldman mighty be seen in a porcupine hat!"

Spines up!!!!!!

 

[Trifili13]

I'm waiting for Ben Fordham to confirm when the Porcupines are in. Otherwise it's just gossip.

 

[MugaB]

I'm waiting for Ben Fordham to confirm when the Porcupines are in. Otherwise it's just gossip.

If it's not Ben Fordham, it's Ben Ikin, as smart as the man is, he doth should know, that we know he is getting paid paper bags to sell that Western corridor narrative, like seriously... every time he is in on the media these days he is just selling the idea... when it's obvious that the next 3 teams are abroad from nsw/qld

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Ben Affleck, Ben Stiller, Benny Hill, Big Ben and Ben Dover have endorsed the Western Pasifika Porcupines as team 18.

Edit: And Gentle Ben who said f**k the bears!

 

[Trifili13]

Ben Affleck, Ben Stiller, Benny Hill, Big Ben and Ben Dover have endorsed the Western Pasifika Porcupines as team 18.

Edit: And Gentle Ben who said f**k the bears!

So long as Ben Cousins is not involved. You know what happened last time someone from WA filled out a bid form and put $0 for licence fee.

 

[MugaB]

So long as Ben Cousins is not involved. You know what happened last time someone from WA filled out a bid form and put $0 for licence fee.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Exciting news from the Western Pasifika Porcupines bid as it has been confirmed that the glamour club wasn't one of the loser bids that got a rejection letter from the NRL.

Porcupines CFO Rich Mosman: "The NRL were unbelievably impressed with the Porcupines bid. We were the only bid that coloured in between the lines and our licence fee offer of 97 trillion Deutsch Marks was way more than everyone elses".

This masthead understands that the Porcupines 67000 juniors, 4700 major sponsors, 547 millionaire comedian backers and complimentary cheese platter is the reason why the 18th NRL licence will be headed to the Porcupines' home base in Berlin.

Spines up!!!!!

 

[MugaB]

Exciting news from the Western Pasifika Porcupines bid as it has been confirmed that the glamour club wasn't one of the loser bids that got a rejection letter from the NRL.

Porcupines CFO Rich Mosman: "The NRL were unbelievably impressed with the Porcupines bid. We were the only bid that coloured in between the lines and our licence fee offer of 97 trillion Deutsch Marks was way more than everyone elses".

This masthead understands that the Porcupines 67000 juniors, 4700 major sponsors, 547 millionaire comedian backers and complimentary cheese platter is the reason why the 18th NRL licence will be headed to the Porcupines' home base in Berlin.

Spines up!!!!!

You got the CFOs name wrong, his name is Mosman "Richie" Richàrds

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Major developments in the race for NRL licence 18.

This masthead can reveal, secret messages from secret sources have confirmed that the Western Pasifika Porcupines have been given a $67 trillion injection of funds by the government of West Palookaville. These funds will cover the cost of a new triangular stadium in the Porcupines home base of Fantasy Island. The funds will also be used to fund a state of the art Centre of Mega-Mediocrity in downtown Dun̈nedoo.

Porcupines Secret Source Supervisor Stan Peanut told this masthead: "the Porcupines will be team 18. Or 19. Or possibly 17&3/4. But it's a secret."

Secret spines up!!!!

 

[MugaB]

Major developments in the race for NRL licence 18.

This masthead can reveal, secret messages from secret sources have confirmed that the Western Pasifika Porcupines have been given a $67 trillion injection of funds by the government of West Palookaville. These funds will cover the cost of a new triangular stadium in the Porcupines home base of Fantasy Island. The funds will also be used to fund a state of the art Centre of Mega-Mediocrity in downtown Dun̈nedoo.

Porcupines Secret Source Supervisor Stan Peanut told this masthead: "the Porcupines will be team 18. Or 19. Or possibly 17&3/4. But it's a secret."

Secret spines up!!!!

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Massive developments in the race for NRL licence 18 with the Western Pasifika Porcupines announcing the funding for a new stadium from their home base in Nauru.

Porcupines chief of football operations Nigel Peanut told this masthead:

"We are pleased to announce that the Newfoundland government has agreed to fund a 800 seat gold plated stadium to the tune of 8.7 billion Deutsch Marks. The match day experience at Spine Stadium will be bloody awesome ".

Spines up!!!!!!

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Major updates as the race for NRL licence draws to a conclusion. This masthead can reveal that Darth V'landys, Porcupines CEO Penelope Peanut and UN Governor General Boutros Boutros Ghali Jr have been locked in Castle Greyskull for the last 4 days negotiating a multi billion rouble funding package.

Ms Peanut said: "We are close to getting a 12 billion rouble a year funding package from the tight arse governments of the world. If I can beat these 2 guys in one more arm wrestle the deal will be done."

Spines up!!!!!!!!!

 

[BuffaloRules]

This is just like reading the Betoota Advocate

Englishman Seriously Came All This Way To Work As A Charity Mugger

More to come.

www.betootaadvocate.com

 

[Trifili13]

The way this expansion has been going so far it wouldn't surprise me if the Porcupines are actually announced as team 18.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Massive signing coup from the Western Pasifika Porcupines as they sit on the precipice of joining the NRL as team 18.

This masthead can reveal that David Moffett, Michael Searle and Nathan Tinkler have been appointed to the porcupines board of directors.

Porcupines CEO Corey Payne told this masthead: David will be in charge of cycling at the porcupines whilst Michael will head up our snake oil division. We're pleased to announce that Nathan will look after the pies and sausage rolls.


Spines up!!!!!

 

[Trifili13]

Massive signing coup from the Western Pasifika Porcupines as they sit on the precipice of joining the NRL as team 18.

This masthead can reveal that David Moffett, Michael Searle and Nathan Tinkler have been appointed to the porcupines board of directors.

Porcupines CEO Corey Payne told this masthead: David will be in charge of cycling at the porcupines whilst Michael will head up our snake oil division. We're pleased to announce that Nathan will look after the pies and sausage rolls.


Spines up!!!!!

Looks like the Porcupines are putting together a formidable administrative team.

 

[Trifili13]

Any truth to the rumour that the investors are talking to Hagipantelis to be Independent Chairman?

 

[Cactus]

Porcupines CEO Corey Payne told this masthead: David will be in charge of cycling at the porcupines whilst Michael will head up our snake oil division. We're pleased to announce that Nathan will look after the pies and sausage rolls.

Correction Memo:
We apologise for the type errors in our most recent communique & advise as to the following important corrections.

Michael Searle will be heading up our peanut oil division & we look forward to him being the head peanut when he joins the team after his return from a third world country where he is currently negotiating prime low cost peanuts for all the Spines to enjoy.

David Moffatt will be in charge of re-cycling & he has confirmed that he will be aiming for a 99.8% success rate with regard to disposable plastic gin & tonic bottles discarded at our home ground by the lonely middle aged white female demographic.

And in breaking news we can confirm Nathan Tinkler will not only be responsible for pies & sausage rolls but has taken on the added responsibility to source the air required for game day ball inflation.

We wish all 3 high powered executives (as described by dannielson wierdler) the very best in their new positions.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Huge developments in the ongoing battle for the NRL'S 18th licence. This masthead can reveal that glamour club and team 18 favourite the Western Pasifika Porcupines has entered into a joint venture-merger-partnership-forgemation with New Zealand's Stewart Island.

WPP head of international development non German division Stuart Stewart told this masthead:
'Stewart Island has often been regarded as New Zealand's other island but their rugby league history is very strong - over 32 viewers watch the NRL through the season and their juniors doubled last year (thanks to the Murray triplets). It's a growth corridor for the game and the porcupines are proud to be part of history."

It is this masthead's understanding that to commemorate the historic joint venture the porcupines will wear the traditional tan colour of Stewart Island on their shorts as well as the mighty sooty shearwater emblem on their right sleeve.

Spines up!!!!