The pain is there with every step but the fear of never playing rugby league again is finally gone for young Brisbane winger Jharal Yow Yeh.
Seven months after experiencing a sickening leg injury, Yow Yeh at last is able to talk confidently about playing the game he loves dearly.
It's a massive mental step for the 22-year-old who, only a few months ago, found it a struggle just to stand up.
He remembers the demons in his head telling him: "You can't even walk - how the heck are you ever going to run again?"
Well, he is running and his target is a NRL comeback in the early rounds of 2013.
Yow Yeh's private fears and doubts came out of a harrowing five months in hospital with doctors battling a series of complications as they rebuilt his lower right leg with titanium plates and a hardware store full of pins and screws.
As a distraught Yow Yeh lay in agony on a Perth football field back in March, his rugby league career looked as shattered as his lower right leg.
The unedited video of the incident is still difficult to watch.
His foot buckled under the weight of 100kg South Sydney rival Dylan Farrell, bent, then finally snapped, his bone spearing through his skin and blood-soaked sock.
It was the beginning of a hellish ride for the kid who literally had the world at his magical feet after scoring a try on debut for both Queensland and Australia at just 21.
But with the help of Broncos physiotherapist Luke Anning and people like podiatrist Al McCullough, who has designed special boots to help support Yow Yeh's foot, things are at last looking up.
While reluctant to make predictions, Anning said the plan was for Yow Yeh to be doing light field running and training by Christmas.
"Everything is starting to turn around for me. I am running on a treadmill and feeling confident once again," Yow Yeh told AAP.
He doesn't talk much about the days, weeks and months spent confined in hospital undergoing countless operations, skin grafts and fighting off the constant threat of infection.
At one stage, the battle swung from saving his playing career, to saving his foot.
Another time, he was flattened when told he had to undergo an osteotomy, surgery which required cutting the bone and repositioning it with doctors unhappy at how it was setting.
Thankfully those dark days have been replaced by a resolve to prove critics who doubt he'll play again wrong.
The big question is will his injury rob him of some brilliant footwork, blistering speed and aerial athleticism?
Yow Yeh, who has scored 33 tries in 60 games for Brisbane, accepts he probably won't play representative football next year.
He also accepts he might even have to switch positions if he doesn't have the same agility.
"Don't expect the old Jharal when I first come back," he smiles.
"Next year is going to be a real test for me to see where I'm going.
"I probably won't play any representative football, although I'll be busting my bum to make those teams.
"If I can't fit on the wing, I hope Anthony (coach Anthony Griffin) puts me somewhere else because I don't ever want to leave this club.
"I'll play off the bench if I have to. I don't care.
