Cliffhanger - How the f**k is this thread still going?...Oh yeah boobs!

[whall15]

Should've said that you wanted to have a look at their magic underwear.

 

[urban eel]

That makes me think of Clerks 2

 

[Drew-Sta]

Should've said that you wanted to have a look at their magic underwear.

:sarcasm:

 

[Drew-Sta]

That makes me think of Clerks 2

Randal Graves: Why haven't you f**ked Myra yet?
Elias: Well, we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal Graves: What the f**k's Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll who lives in her pussy.
[Randal stares]
Elias: Pillow Pants is her pussy troll?
[scoffs]
Elias: Duh. You know how every girl's parents put a pussy troll in them when the girls are young, to keep them from having premarital sex?
Randal Graves: ...Sure.
Elias: Well Myra's is named Pillow Pants. And so even though she totally wants to have sex with me, Myra says if I put my... thing in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off. So, I gotta wait until Pillow Pants gets peed out of her body on her 21st birthday before we can have sex.
Randal Graves: [floored] And Myra told you this?
Elias: Boyfriends and girlfriends talk to each other about sex stuff Randal. You'd know this if you ever had a girlfriend.
Randal Graves: Have you and Myra even kissed yet?
Elias: We would have already if it wasn't for Listerfiend.
Randal Graves: [beat] Listerfiend is her mouth troll, isn't it?
Elias: [shakes head] Women.

 

[urban eel]

Exactly Drew! Kevin Smith writing at its best

 

[Drew-Sta]

This is one of my favourites:

[A customer approaches Elias at the counter]
Hobbit fan: Hey man.
[Elias changes hats before taking the customer's order]
Elias: Welcome to Mooby's. May I take your order?
Hobbit fan: Yeah, um... see... give me one Udderly Delicious Moolkshake, a Skinny Calf and an order of onion rings. Thanks.
[Elias keys in the order]
Elias: One ring to rule them all.
[Surprised look on the customer's face]
Hobbit fan: One ring to find them.
Randal: Oh, Jesus.
[Elias pulls out his ring hanging on his necklace]
Elias: One ring to bring them all.
Hobbit fan: And in the darkness, bind them.
[Customer pulls out his ring from his pocket]
Elias: Yes!
Hobbit fan: Dude!
[Exchanges high-five with customer]
Elias: How many times?
Hobbit fan: Well, um, three for Fellowship, two for Towers, four for Return.
Elias: Five for Return.
[Randal walks by them]
Randal: All right, look... There's only one Return, okay? And it ain't of the King, it's of the Jedi.
Hobbit fan: Oh... Star Wars geek.
Randal: Oh, I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your "preciouses".
Elias: You'll have to excuse him. He's not down with the trilogy.
Randal: Oh, what the f**k happened to this world? There's only one trilogy, you f**king morons.
Hobbit fan: You know what? Maybe we should start calling your friend "Padme", because he loves Mannequin Skywalker so much, right? Hey - [impersonating a robot] Danger! Danger! My name is Anakin! My shitty acting is ruining saga!
Elias: Yeah, you're crazy, Jar Jar!
Randal: I'm crazy? Those f**king Hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was was a bunch of people walking. Three movies of people walking through a f**king volcano. Here's the first movie...
[Randal jumps off the counter and walks slowly with his mouth open before walking back to the counter]
Randal: And here's the second movie...
[Randal does the same walk, except that midway, he sidesteps to the left and looks down before walking back to the counter]
Hobbit fan: He is way off. Loser.
Randal: You ready for the third movie?
[Randal does the same walk, but stops, looks down, pretends to pull a ring from his finger and drops it as two other customers watch him while eating]
Customer A: f**king A.
Randal: Even the f**king trees walked in those movies.
Hobbit fan: You know what? I've had enough of you. Your simplistic analysis of the trilogy aside, The Lord of the Rings was a massive achievement. And even the Academy recognized them that they gave Peter Jackson the Best Directing Oscar - an award your little friend George "Toy Boy" Lucas has never - and will never - win. Bones.
[Exchanges fist salute with Elias]
Elias: Oh, sick burn.
Randal: Let me tell you something. If Peter Jackson really wanted to blow me away with those Rings movies, he would've ended the third one on a logical closure point. Not the 25 endings that followed.
Elias: What's the logical closure point?
Hobbit fan: Yeah, friend. Enlighten us.
Randal: When f**king Fredo wakes up from his little coma or whatever and the little Hobbits are jumping up and down on his bed. And Sam leans in the doorway and gives him that very f**king gay look.
Elias: Not the Rings Randal. Say what you will about Jesus, but leave the Rings out of this.
Hobbit fan: I ought to kick your ass back to the shire if you don't shut your f**king mouth.
Randal: That look was so gay, I thought Sam was gonna tell the little hobbits to take a walk, so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his f**king c**k. Now that would've been an Academy Award-worthy ending.
Hobbit fan: Hey! androtrop! They're not gay! They're Hobbits.
Randal: And then right after the Sam/Frodo suck-fest, right before the credits roll, Sam f**king flat-out bricks in Frodo's mouth.
Hobbit fan: I swear... f**k you...!
[Hobbit fan suddenly vomits. Randal runs to the manager's office, laughing.]
Randal: I made fun of The Lord of the Rings so hard, it made some super geek puke all over the counter. Where do we keep the mop and bucket so I can have Elias clean it up?

The quote doesn't do it justice. Haven't seen that movie in ages.

 

[Cliffhanger]

Cult of Bacchus anyone? I'm sure BDR knows all about it.

 

[Apey]

whall, I think you'll find you don't live in a bubble. Whilst there is still a reasonable amount of people who are church / mosque / temple / synagogue etc attenders in Aus, there's a lot who still tick 'Yes' on belief in God yet are 'Christmas Christians', if you follow.

When I worked for JnJ, I was one of 5 people in a 250 odd person office who was a practicing Christian, and there weren't really any practising muslims or Jews.

Also, our parents generation is 'religious' in so far as they still hold 'religious' morals and ethics, but might not practice.

I hear you. Mum and partner still tick off religion on the census because they were raised religious. Makes me facepalm so hard. Neither of them have gone to a church on a Sunday in over two decades. I don't think either even genuinely believe in a God either from what I can gather. The closest (and in fact, the only) thing I can think of is they don't eat meat on Good Friday... and even then I am pretty sure that is much more of a tradition thing. I don't know, I stuff myself with meat on Good Friday purely for the trolololol factor.

 

[Apey]

ps. my God is Caligula. Any man who tries to promote his own horse to consul has gotta be on the level.

 

[Surely]

Did u ever see the caligua movie

 

[BDR]

Cult of Bacchus anyone? I'm sure BDR knows all about it.

Any god that's ok with booze and loose women is fine by me.

Did u ever see the caligua movie

Such a bizarre movie, couldn't decide if it wanted to be a porno or a serious drama. Sucked either way. McDowell's evil little elf face was perfect for the role.

 

[Dragon2010]

Well, this was an interesting read...

 

[thorson1987]

I stuff myself with meat on Good Friday purely for the trolololol factor.

Sig worthy

 

[thorson1987]

On topic, my parents aren't religious, although all of us kids were baptised Catholic.

Don't think any of my grand parents were religious either.

On the eating meat on Good Friday, I was always brought up that you couldn't eat red meat, so McChickens galore that day.

Until I met my wife-to-be, now it is fish every good friday.

She isn't religious, it's just how she was brought up.

Although both of her parents were a little disappointed that we had a child before marriage.

 

[Misanthrope]

This is one of my favourites:



The quote doesn't do it justice. Haven't seen that movie in ages.

I'd respect that quote more if it weren't so pro Star Wars: arguably one of the most overrated movies ever. Good movie, but not worth the level of fapping it gets.

Cult of Bacchus anyone? I'm sure BDR knows all about it.

If you know your Euripides, that doesn't turn out well.

I hear you. Mum and partner still tick off religion on the census because they were raised religious. Makes me facepalm so hard. Neither of them have gone to a church on a Sunday in over two decades. I don't think either even genuinely believe in a God either from what I can gather. The closest (and in fact, the only) thing I can think of is they don't eat meat on Good Friday... and even then I am pretty sure that is much more of a tradition thing.

I still tick a religion because most atheists have turned atheism into almost as preachy a religion as the things they rail against.

I stuff myself with meat on Good Friday purely for the trolololol factor.

My best mate used to do this. I never got it. If there's no God, then you're not doing anything. It's not like people were horrified.

And if there is a God and you're doing it to be a rebel, then you're admitting the existence of a God.

 

[BDR]

I liked Easter, dad used to make us fish fingers for breakfast. Best day of the year other than ham and eggs on Xmas.

 

[Scott Gourley's Lovechild]

On topic, my parents aren't religious, although all of us kids were baptised Catholic.

Don't think any of my grand parents were religious either.

On the eating meat on Good Friday, I was always brought up that you couldn't eat red meat, so McChickens galore that day.

Until I met my wife-to-be, now it is fish every good friday.

She isn't religious, it's just how she was brought up.

Although both of her parents were a little disappointed that we had a child before marriage.

Dad is religious but doesnt practice, his parents are/were Christian (Presbyterian). Mums family are as atheist as you will get. My brother and I were baptised Presbyterian, but we both are atheist.

 

[Rhino_NQ]

i make sure to have a nice big juicy steak on good friday

just because i can

 

[Bazal]

I eat fish on Good Friday. Partly habit, mostly because it's just about the only day in Canberra you're absolutely guaranteed to find a good variety of fresh fish. Options can be very one dimensional if it's not Easter or Christmas time

 

[Dragon2010]

Back on track, more Cliffy stories...