Favourite Movie Quotes

[horrie hastings]

History Of the World Part 1- Mel Brookes classic .

 

[Parra]

Let It Ride (1989)

Greenberg: "She has very long legs."
Vicki: Thanks. "They go from my ass all the way to the floor."

Marty: "Eight's the one, I'd stake my life on it."
Jay Trotter: "They've got a $2 minimum bet."

Tony Cheesburger: "The 4 horse! Nobody bets the 4 horse, Trotter. The 4 horse is a joke. They let little kiddies on the 4 horse to have their picture taken."

[Watching toteboard go from 40-1 to 8-1]
Looney: "Probably some coke dealer went nuts again."

Looney: "Fifty bucks on Junebug to win! It's the same name as my cat."

One of my favourite movies.

You could be walking around lucky and not even know it.

 

[Parra]

I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I'm coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.

 

[Jim Rockford]

Hahaha Uncle Buck - a John Candy classic. Excellent choice Parra!

 

[hineyrulz]

I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (1988)

Typing out the lines won't do this one justice. You have to see the actual clip to truly appreciate it.

An all time classic.

 

[Jim Rockford]

Running On Empty (1982)

"Spotto a '57 Chev. A blown '57 two-door"

 

[Jim Rockford]

A Day At The Races (1937)

Dr. Hackenbush: [examining Stuffy with an auriscope]"I haven't seen anything like this in years. The last time I saw a head like that was in a bottle of formaldehyde."
Tony: "Told you he was sick."
Dr. Hackenbush: [pointing to Stuffy's neck] "That's all pure desecration along there. He's got about a 15% metabolism, with an overactive thyroid and a glandular affectation of about 3%."
Tony: "That's bad."
Dr. Hackenbush: "With a 1% mentality."
[Stuffy grins]
Dr. Hackenbush: "He's what we designate as the crummy moronic type. All in all, this is the most gruesome looking piece of blubber I've ever peered at."
Tony: "Hey doc. Hey doc!"
Dr. Hackenbush: "Huh?"
Tony: "You gotta the looking glass turned around, you're looking at yourself."

 

[Parra]

GAS STATION/GROCERY SHEFFIELD

At an isolated dusty crossroad. It is twilight. The Ford sedan that Chigurh stopped is parked alongside the pump.

INSIDE

Chigurh stands at the counter across from the elderly proprietor. He holds up a bag of cashews.

CHIGURH How much?

PROPRIETOR Sixty-nine cent.

CHIGURH This. And the gas.

PROPRIETOR Y’all getting any rain up your way?

CHIGURH What way would that be?

PROPRIETOR I seen you was from Dallas.

Chigurh tears open the bag of cashews and pours a few into his hand.

CHIGURH What business is it of yours where I’m from, friendo?

PROPRIETOR I didn’t mean nothin by it.

CHIGURH Didn’t mean nothin.

PROPRIETOR I was just passin the time.

CHIGURH I guess that passes for manners in your cracker view of things.

A beat.

PROPRIETOR Well sir I apologize. If you don’t wanna accept that I don’t know what else I can do for you.

Chigurh stands chewing cashews, staring while the old man works the register.

PROPRIETOR …Will there be somethin else?

CHIGURH I don’t know. Will there?

Beat.

The proprietor turns and coughs. Chigurh stares.

PROPRIETOR Is somethin wrong?

CHIGURH With what?

PROPRIETOR With anything?

CHIGURH Is that what you’re asking me? Is there something wrong with anything?

The proprietor looks at him, uncomfortable, looks away.

PROPRIETOR Will there be anything else?

CHIGURH You already asked me that.

PROPRIETOR Well…I need to see about closin.

CHIGURH See about closing.

PROPRIETOR Yessir.

CHIGURH What time do you close?

PROPRIETOR Now. We close now.

CHIGURH Now is not a time. What time do you close.

PROPRIETOR Generally around dark. At dark.

Chigurh stares, slowly chewing.

CHIGURH You don’t know what you’re talking about, do you?

PROPRIETOR Sir?

CHIGURH I said you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Chigurh chews

… What time do you go to bed.

PROPRIETOR Sir?

CHIGURH You’re a bit deaf, aren’t you? I said what time do you go to bed.

PROPRIETOR Well…

A pause.

…I’d say around nine-thirty. Somewhere around nine- thirty.

CHIGURH I could come back then.

PROPRIETOR Why would you be comin back? We’ll be closed.

CHIGURH You said that.

He continues to stare, chewing.

PROPRIETOR Well…I need to close now–

CHIGURH You live in that house behind the store?

PROPRIETOR Yes I do.

CHIGURH You’ve lived here all your life?

A beat.

PROPRIETOR This was my wife’s father’s place. Originally.

CHIGURH You married into it.

PROPRIETOR We lived in Temple Texas for many years. Raised a family there. In Temple. We come out here about four years ago.

CHIGURH You married into it.

PROPRIETOR …If that’s the way you wanna put it.

CHIGURH I don’t have some way to put it. That’s the way it is.

He finishes the cashews and wads the packet and sets it on the counter where it begins to slowly unkink. The proprietor’s eyes have tracked the packet. Chigurh’s eyes stay on the proprietor.

…What’s the most you’ve ever lost on a coin toss?

PROPRIETOR Sir?

CHIGURH The most. You ever lost. On a coin toss.

PROPRIETOR I don’t know. I couldn’t say.

Chigurh is digging in his pocket. A quarter: he tosses it. He slaps it onto his forearm but keeps it covered.

CHIGURH Call it.

PROPRIETOR Call it?

CHIGURH Yes.

PROPRIETOR For what?

CHIGURH Just call it.

PROPRIETOR Well–we need to know what it is we’re callin for here.

CHIGURH You need to call it. I can’t call it for you. It wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t even be right.

PROPRIETOR I didn’t put nothin up.

CHIGURH Yes you did. You been putting it up your whole life. You just didn’t know it. You know what date is on this coin?

PROPRIETOR No.

CHIGURH Nineteen fifty-eight. It’s been traveling twenty-two years to get here. And now it’s here. And it’s either heads or tails, and you have to say. Call it.

A long beat.

PROPRIETOR Look…I got to know what I stand to win.

CHIGURH Everything.

PROPRIETOR How’s that?

CHIGURH You stand to win everything. Call it.

PROPRIETOR All right. Heads then.

Chigurh takes his hand away from the coin and turns his arm to look at it.

CHIGURH Well done.

He hands it across.

…Don’t put it in your pocket.

PROPRIETOR Sir?

CHIGURH Don’t put it in your pocket. It’s your lucky quarter.

PROPRIETOR …Where you want me to put it?

CHIGURH Anywhere not in your pocket. Or it’ll get mixed in with the others and become just a coin. Which it is.

He turns and goes.

The proprietor watches him

 

[Captain Apollo]

Don Diego: Do you know how to use that thing?

Alejandro: Yes. The pointy end goes into the other man.

-------

Captain Love: Strange I'd say, it's the second time I've shot this man while he was flying through the air.

-------

Alejandro: Do you surrender?

Elena: Never, but I may scream.

Alejandro: I understand. Sometimes I have that effect.

-------

Alejandro: Look at me. I look like a butterfly. This is the most stupid thing I've ever done.

Don Diego: I doubt that.

Alejandro: We'll never get away with this.

Don Diego: Yes we will. A nobleman is nothing but a man who says one thing and thinks another.

-------

Soldier: Hey... I thought you were tied up.

Joaquín: That is because you are stupid.

The Mask of Zorro (1998).

 

[Parra]

Don Diego: Do you know how to use that thing?

Alejandro: Yes. The pointy end goes into the other man.

-------

Captain Love: Strange I'd say, it's the second time I've shot this man while he was flying through the air.

-------

Alejandro: Do you surrender?

Elena: Never, but I may scream.

Alejandro: I understand. Sometimes I have that effect.

-------

Alejandro: Look at me. I look like a butterfly. This is the most stupid thing I've ever done.

Don Diego: I doubt that.

Alejandro: We'll never get away with this.

Don Diego: Yes we will. A nobleman is nothing but a man who says one thing and thinks another.

-------

Soldier: Hey... I thought you were tied up.

Joaquín: That is because you are stupid.

The Mask of Zorro (1998).

I want to see this now

 

[Parra]

This one needs a clip

 

[Generalzod]

 

[Jim Rockford]

Half Bakes (1998)

Brian: "First of all to understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz he's a small time gun runner and a rotweiler fight promoter. So he puts killer into training. They see killer's good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother nibbles. And killer said "no man that's my brother, I can't fight nibbles" but they made him fight anyway, and killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said "that's it!" he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow."
Thurgood Jenkins: "You know uh, I never thought I'd say this to anybody, but you two smoke entirely too much reefer."

Thurgood Jenkins: "Yeah, get me a box of condoms, and, what was that thing we used to eat back in the day? What was it... oh yeah, pussy."

Sir-Smoke-Alot: "The doctor said I need a backiotomy!"

Brian: "Lady, seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record? I'll give you five."
Record Store Customer: "Ugh-huh, he autographed it himself."
Brian: "All right, I'll give you four."

Kenny: "You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch!"

Enhancement Smoker: "You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some crazy shit, man. There's a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO."

Brian: "For 400 dollars I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man!"
Thurgood Jenkins: "Who the f*ck told you that?"
Brian: "The man who sold it to me, Barry Garcia."
Thurgood Jenkins: "So who is that, Jerry Garcia's brother?"
Brian: "No, actually it was Andy Garcia's brother."

Thurgood Jenkins: "You know I got some weed at work today, if y'all wanna try it out."
Scarface: "Nah, we don't feel like smokin right now."
Thurgood Jenkins: "Me neither. So y'all wanna smoke?"
Scarface: "I'll get Billy Bong Thornton!"
Brian: "No man. No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny. That wouldn't be right. Get Wesley Pipes. Yeah!"

 

[Jim Rockford]

Goodbye Pork Pie (1980)

Title Card: This is a story from the pages of history, from an almost forgotten age, the good old days when you could drive your car when ever you pleased, when petrol stations were always open, and gas was less than a buck a gallon.

John: "I'm taking this bloody car to Invercargill, boy!"

Mulvaney: "There's only one sure thing in this life, Blondini, and that's doubt. I think."

John: "There's cops all down this road."
Gerry Austin: "So?"
John: "So cops have got radios. This gas is stolen."
Gerry Austin: "So is the car!"

John: [reading rental papers]"Nice car."
Gerry Austin: "Yeah. Brand spanking. Did a deal, bloke I know."
John: "Funny deal, it's a rental."
Gerry Austin: "Funny bloke."

 

[Jim Rockford]

Fletch (1985)

Dr. Joseph Dolan: "Right. Now, how long have you had these pains, Mr. Barber?"
Fletch: "No, that's "Babar"."
Dr. Joseph Dolan: "Two B's?"
Fletch: "One B. B-A-B-A-R."
Dr. Joseph Dolan: "That's two."
Fletch: "Yeah, but not right next to each other. I thought that's what you meant."
Dr. Joseph Dolan: "Arnold Babar. Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?"
Fletch: "I don't know. I don't have any."
Dr. Joseph Dolan: "No children?"
Fletch: "No, elephant books."

Madeline: "I'm sorry, who are you again?"
Fletch: "I'm Frieda's boss."
Madeline: "Who's Frieda?"
Fletch: "My secretary."

Fletch: "I'm John."
Gail Stanwyk: "Ohhhh, John."
[they laugh]
Gail Stanwyk: "John who?"
Fletch: "John Coxtolstoy."
Gail Stanwyk: "That's a beautiful name."
Fletch: "Well, it's Scotch/Romanian."
Gail Stanwyk: "That's an odd combination."
Fletch: "Yeah, well, so were my parents."

Dr. Joseph Dolan: "You know, it's a shame about Ed."
Fletch: "Oh, it was. Yeah, it was really a shame. To go so suddenly like that."
Dr. Joseph Dolan: "He was dying for years."
Fletch: "Sure, but... the end was very... very sudden."
Dr. Joseph Dolan: "He was in intensive care for eight weeks."
Fletch: "Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he actually died. That was extremely sudden."

Fletch: (singing")Strangers in the night, exchanging clothing, strangers in my pants..."

[driving away from police in car with startled teenager]
Teenager: "Are you a cop?"
Fletch: "As far as you know."
Teenager: "Are you gonna take me to jail for car theft?"
Fletch: "Why? Did you steal the car?"
Teenager: "I sure did."
Fletch: "Well, I'm not even sure that's a crime anymore. There've been a lot of changes in the law."

Waiter: "Excuse me, Señor. You are a member of the club?"
Fletch: "No, I'm not, I'm with the Underhills."
Waiter: "They already left, Señor."
Fletch: "It's all right, they'll be back. He went out for his urinalysis."
Waiter: "Would you like some drinks, Señor, while you wait? I will put it on the Underhills' bill."
Fletch: "Yes, very good. I'll have a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich and... a steak sandwich, please."

[Fletch has fainted]
Records Nurse: "Oh, Doctor, are you all right?"
Fletch: "Where am I?"
Records Nurse: "You're in the records room."
Fletch: "The records room? Oh, then I'm fine."
Records Nurse: "Can I get you something?"
Fletch: "Yeah, do you have the Beatles' White Album? Never mind, just get me a glass of hot fat. And bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia while you're out there."

Alan Stanwyk "You'll be wearing rubber gloves. Do you own rubber gloves?"
Fletch: "I rent 'em. I have a lease with an option to buy."

Fletch: "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I didn't want to have to do this. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses."

[to a Doberman pinscher]
Fletch: "Look! Defenseless babies! Fell for the oldest trick in the book!"

Gail Stanwyk: "What are you doing here?"
Fletch: "I ordered some lunch."
Gail Stanwyk: "You ordered it here?"
Fletch: "Well, I knew this is where my mouth would be."

Fletch: Hi there. I'm Harry S. Truman, Casewell Insurance underwriters.

Marvin Stanwyk: "Harry S. Truman"?
Fletch: "My parents were fans of the former president."
Marvin Stanwyk: "Isn't that nice? He was a good man."
Fletch: "He sure was."
Marvin Stanwyk: "He showed the Japs a thing or two."
Fletch: "Dropped the big one, huh?"
Marvin Stanwyk: "He dropped two big ones on them!"

 

[Bring back John Fifita]

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - many quotes to choose from. But the opening scenes are a standout..

 

[Det.Wojciehowicz]

The Monster Squad (1987)

Horace: Wolfman's got nards!

Horace: [to Sean] Scary German guy is bitchin'!

• Det. Del Crenshaw: [about the killer in the 12th Groundhog Day movie] I thought they killed him in the last one.
• Sean: They did, he returns from the grave.
• Det. Del Crenshaw: He always returns from the grave. If they blew him up, put his head in a blender and mailed the rest of him to Norway, he would still return from the grave!
• Sean: That was part 7.

 

[Det.Wojciehowicz]

Just saw the first one has already been posted. Should have checked the whole thread before posting.

 

[Det.Wojciehowicz]

The Thing (1982)

First up perhaps the greatest quote in the history of cinema

Palmer: You gotta be f**kin' kidding.

Clark:I dunno what the hell's in there, but it's weird and pissed off, whatever it is.

• Childs: You're gonna have to sleep sometime, MacReady.
• MacReady: I'm a real light sleeper, Childs.

• [first lines]
• Computer Voice: [after MacReady inputs a move on the keyboard] Your move: bishop to knight four. My move: knight to rook three.
• MacReady: Poor baby, you're startin' to lose it, aren't ya?
• [inputs a move]
• Computer Voice: Your move: king to rook one. My move: rook to knight six. Checkmate. Checkmate.
• [MacReady angrily pours his scotch into the computer tower, frying it]
• MacReady: Cheating bitch.

Garry: I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS f**kING COUCH!
1

 

[shiznit]

Comic book movie ones I like…

Bane from Dark Knight Rises: “Oh, you think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn't see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but BLINDING!”

Alfred from The Dark Knight: “Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

Tony Stark: “I am Iron Man”

Thanos: “You could not live with your own failure. Where did that bring you? Back to me.”

Blade from the original Blade: “Some motherf**kers are always trying to ice skate uphill.”

My recent favourite from Deadpool & Wolverine: “They don’t call me truthful Timmy the blow job queen of Saskatoon.”