Funniest Simpsons lines ever

[AlwaysGreen]

Lou the Cop after getting his gun taken off him: "This always made me feel like a man, you know. Now all I've got is my enormous genitals."

 

[Marshall_magic]

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, a communist but he is not a porn star.

 

[Horrie Is God]

Homer: How ironic. Now he's blind after a life of enjoying being able to see..

 

[Flapper]

Cletus: I can see my ma from here. HEY MA! GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!

 

[Hallatia]

Simpson! You're not a licensed chiropractor, and you're stealing patients from me and from Dr. Steffi. We're going to have to shut you down.
Boy, talk about irony. The AMA tries to drive you guys out of business, now you're doing the same to me. Think about the irony.
(Dr. Steve grabs Homer and holds him against the wall.)
You've been warned. Stop chiropracting.
Not unless you ... think about ... the irony.

 

[Mong]

Not quite the right spelling but the executive producers name is, or at least was, David Mirkin

 

[Hallatia]

Marge, where's that... metal deely... you use to... uh... dig... food

 

[Hallatia]

As long as you're in my house you'll do what I do and believe what I believe. So Bart, butter your bacon!

 

[Red Bear]

Wait a minute, there's something bothering me about this place... I know, this lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap ladies!

:lol::lol::lol:

"It's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed jacket, you've ruined a perfectly good jacket"

"Correction, two perfectly good jackets"

 

[VodafoneWarriors1995]

Marge: I have a neat idea. Why don't you get my mother and we can go out to dinner?
Grampa: I'll be back in a jiffy!
(Gets an old lady in a wheelchair)
Marge: That's not my mother!
Grampa: I'll be back in a jiffy!
Old Lady: Can I come too?
(Homer rolls up his car window)
Old Lady: Oh.

 

[Horrie Is God]

Homer - “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. I am going to win this lottery.”

Marge - “Homer, the odds are three-hundred-and-eighty million to one.”

Homer - “Correction, three-hundred-and-eighty million to fifty!”

 

[Apey]

Remember boy, don't tell anyone about this. Not your mother, not Rex Banner, not anyone.

Rexy: Daisy had puppies! Love Mom. *nods*

 

[Zoidberg]

Marge - and I have a special present for you, but I'll give it to you later tonight *wink

homer - special present?! But I want it now. I want the children to see!

 

[Twizzle]

oh Margie, you came and you bought me a turkey

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Lurlene: "Homer, you are sweet as you are handsome."

Homer: "hey!!"

 

[Marshall_magic]

Mick Jagger: So do you know why you're all here?
Homer: TO ROCK!
Mick Jagger: Who said that?
Homer: Erm...he did
Mick Jagger: That's right Otto, you're here to rock.

 

[moik]

Homer: Why do things happen to me that only happen to stupid people?

 

[Horrie Is God]

Dr. Hibbert: You have an absolutely unique genetic condition known as "Homer Simpson" syndrome..

 

[moik]

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson here is 'never try'.

 

[Horrie Is God]

Homer: Why do things happen to me that only happen to stupid people?

I'm pretty sure it was a little bit different to that..

Homer: How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?..