Funniest Simpsons lines ever

[Noa]

I always get a laugh out of "Ay watch it chief".

 

[Marshall_magic]

Another favourite

Homer: Clemens did I make the team?
Roger Clemens: You sure did
Homer: I did? Woohoo woohoo, in your face Strawberry
Roger Clemens: Wait a minute, are you Ken Griffey Jr?
Homer: No
Roger Clemens: Sorry, didn't mean to get your hopes up

 

[Hallatia]

love?! Signed photo?! It's been ages since Marge asked me for a signed photo

 

[Frederick]

Mouldy? Old?! I'm going to get something to eat!

 

[AlwaysGreen]

My god you're greasy.

 

[LeagueNut]

The door already is closed.

 

[Dragon]

Homer: Good practice, kids. Now it's time for the easiest part of any coach's job. The cuts. Although I wasn't able to cut everyone I wanted to, I have cut a lot of you. Wendell is cut. Rudy is cut. Janey, you're gone. Steven, I like your hustle
[Steven smiles]
Homer:That's why it was so hard to cut you
[Steven's smile drops]

*credits roll* Homer cuts everyone

 

[Horrie Is God]

Drederick Tatum: Hello Springfield, I'm heavyweight champ Drederick Tatum issuing a challenge to see who can sell the most candy, winners will become honorary bad boys at the next Isotopes home game, proceeds will go to keeping people like me off the street, I can't help myself, punch and grope, punch and grope, its all I was taught..

 

[Apey]

This is better off in this thread.

Look soldier, you don't like me, and I don't like you.
I like you.
Well, I don't like you.
Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me better.

 

[Apey]

Wish I could find all their lines with good quality, these two videos miss their best lines.

[youtube]r4HKmU3OEaY[/youtube]

[youtube]XyWvb4Ty6A8[/youtube]

Patterson: I can't believe what I'm hearing.
Homer: Well you better turn up your hearing aid, Pops.
Patterson: Pops? I'm only two years older than you.
Homer: Do we want Old Man Patterson here with his finger on the button?
Patterson: What button? What the hell are you talking about?
Homer: [mocking] "What? What? What? What button? Where am I? Who took my false teeth?"​

 

[dogslife]

[youtube]Lzpk5dMhVE4[/youtube]

 

[Red Bear]

Nelson and Jimbo would have more credibility

Also speaking of Milhouse. Has anybody ever noticed the disturbing resemblance between his Mum and Dad?

Well it's hinted at as Louanne (or whatever her name is) is from Shelbyville, where they marry their cousins, that they might be related

Drederick Tatum: Hello Springfield, I'm heavyweight champ Drederick Tatum issuing a challenge to see who can sell the most candy, winners will become honorary bad boys at the next Isotopes home game, proceeds will go to keeping people like me off the street, I can't help myself, punch and grope, punch and grope, its all I was taught..

Man #1: Champ, do you feel remorse for your crime? Tatum: Oh, yes. Believe me, my god, if I could turn back the clock on my mother's stair-pushing, I would certainly... reconsider it. Man #2: Drederick, ah, what do you think of Homer Simpson? Tatum: I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definately gonna make orphans of his children. Man #3: Uh, you know, they do have a mother, Champ. Tatum: Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief. [interviewers continue to battle to get their questions in] Lucius: Thank you, thank you. But the champ has no time for further queries. This parole hearing is over.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

This is the worst day of my life.

 

[Frederick]

Homer: "maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir', without adding 'you're making a scene'."

Homer: "well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids."


Homer: "the only monster here is the gambling mother that's enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!"


Homer: "getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races"

 

[Cliffhanger]

Lisa cried, then I cried, then maggie laughed she's such a little trooper.

 

[dogslife]

[youtube]hFgR0m-9FmM[/youtube]

 

[AlwaysGreen]

I call the big one bitey.

 

[IanG]

I thought you said Troy McClure was dead?
No I said he sleeps with the fishes. You see..........

 

[Hallatia]

We're foreign exchange students from, uh...Scotland!
Willy's from Scotland! Where do you hail from?
North... Kilt..town.
Hey, do you know Angus McCloud?
Yeah, I--wait a minute! There is no Angus McCloud in North Kiltown. Why, you're not from Scotland at all!

 

[Apey]

[youtube]achYHwgMIGs[/youtube]