Funniest Simpsons lines ever

[HowHigh]

[youtube]XWBhnsMH4dI[/youtube]

 

[AlwaysGreen]

The road to the Super Bowl is long and pointless.

 

[Dragon]

And now, a special Christmas message from Tupac Shakur

 

[Marshall_magic]

Lisa: Hey, I am above average! So what if Alison's ahead of me? There's no shame in being second. [imagines]
Announcer: And now, Avis Rent-A-Car is proud to present the second best band in America. Will you welcome Garfunkel, Messina, Oates, and Lisa singing their number two hit, "Born to Runner-Up." [Band begins to play; audience boos]
Lisa: Why would they come to our concert just to boo us?

 

[Scott Gourley's Lovechild]

Homer: This is just like the time your cat died, remember that Lisa?

Lisa: Uh huh.

Homer: So all I'm saying is all we have to do is go down to the pound and get you a new jazz man!

 

[Scott Gourley's Lovechild]

In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women!

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

 

[Cliffhanger]

Not a line but hilarious
[youtube]-FWXcuRdxOI[/youtube]

 

[Red Bear]

[youtube]JsTO57M3KgA[/youtube]

:lol:

 

[Danish]

Oh I dunno... just a little incident with BOOGIEMAN!!! Of course this would never have happened if you were here to stop me do something stupid

 

[Apey]

Oh I dunno... just a little incident with BOOGIEMAN!!! Of course this would never have happened if you were here to stop me do something stupid

one of the greatest visual moments is him lifting the shotgun shakily above the bent over mattress

 

[MattYg1]

one of the greatest visual moments is him lifting the shotgun shakily above the bent over mattress

HAHA not to mention the shells that are already all over the floor

 

[Apey]

One of my favourite scenes involving secondary characters.

Chief Wiggum: Don't you worry, Mr. Mayor. This little lady will be cracking rocks by the end of the week.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/Mayor Quimby: Wiggum, you glorified night watchman, let her go!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000279/Chief Wiggum: But... but she broke the law.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/Mayor Quimby: Thanks for the civics lesson. Now listen: if Marge Simpson goes to jail, I can kiss the chick vote goodbye. And if I go down, you're gonna break my fall!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000279/Chief Wiggum: Word to the wise, Quimby: don't write checks your butt can't cash.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/Mayor Quimby: Hear me loud and clear, Wiggum: you bite me, I'll bite back!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000279/Chief Wiggum: You talk the talk, Quimby, but do you walk the walk?

 

[Zoidberg]

One of my favorite moments is when Mr Burns creates his own religion and comes out onto the power plant balcony.
Just the build up to it and then how it all goes, funniest thing ever.

Can't find the clip anywhere...

 

[Horrie Is God]

Moe: [over monitor] Lenny, how are you doing? This is Moe.
I've got some class three gossip here..

Lenny:[over monitor] Well, dish!..

Moe: Groundskeeper Willie -- you know, the guy in the skirt --
bought himself a mail-order bride. But he's too cheap to
pay the C. O. D., right? So she's still in a crate down
at the post office. Wanna go look-see?..

 

[Marshall_magic]

Homer when he arrives at college

Homer: NEEEERRRRRRRRDDDDDD!!!!!!!!
Marge: Homer that's not very nice
Homer: Marge there are 2 types of people at college, Jocks and Nerds, as a jock it is my job to give nerds a hard time (walks up to another guy) Hey buddy, did you get a load of the nerd?
Guy: the what?

 

[Apey]

One of my favorite moments is when Mr Burns creates his own religion and comes out onto the power plant balcony.
Just the build up to it and then how it all goes, funniest thing ever.

Can't find the clip anywhere...

 

[AlwaysGreen]

We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

This is for Simpsons quotes, not Popeye quotes.

 

[Jason Maher]

:lol:

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

This is for Simpsons quotes, not Popeye quotes.

I saw him wandering the streets today, pointing at birdbaths and screaming "death"!