AlwaysGreen
Post Whore
- Messages
- 50,887
Homer Wisdom.
Share your wealth.
A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid centre.
Being popular is the most important thing in the world.
The answers to the questions of life aren't on the bottom of the bottle... They're on TV!
No matter how good you are, there are always a million guys better than you. So if you can't win, don't try.
It's not okay to lose.
If something's hard to do, it's not worth doing.
The Three Important Sentences:
Cover for me.
Ooh, good idea, boss!
It was like that when I got here!
The Code of the Schoolyard
(The Rules That Teach a Boy to Be a Man)
Don't tattle.
Always make fun of those different from you.
Never say anything unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.
How to Fight
When a bully thinks you're going to throw a punch, you throw a glob of mud in his eyes and then you sock him when he's staggering around blinded. And there is nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned. And if you get a chance, get him right in the family jewels.
First, you gotta scream like a woman and keep sobbing until the other turns away in disgust. That's when it's time to kick some back! And then when he's lying on the ground, kick him in the rib, step on his neck and run like hell.
About bribing
It never hurts to grease the wheels. A cupcake there, a good number here.
It's the three roads to success:
Work
Brains
Cupcakes
How to get rid of a girlfriend:
I like you as a friend.
I think we should see another people.
I no speak English.
I'm married to the seas.
I don't want to kill you, but I will.
I'm not gay, but I'll learn.
When it comes to compliments, women are bloodsucking monsters, who want more, more, MORE! And if you give it to them... you get plenty back in return...
A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, three hundred pounds, they make ice.
A woman is a lot like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you're ready to go over your own mother to get one! But you can't stop at one! You want to drink another woman!
Homer and the Bible
Gambling is right, they even say in the Bible it's right. (Somewhere in the back.)
Thou shalt not take moochers into thy hut.
Thou shalt not horn into thy husband's racket.
Share your wealth.
A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid centre.
Being popular is the most important thing in the world.
The answers to the questions of life aren't on the bottom of the bottle... They're on TV!
No matter how good you are, there are always a million guys better than you. So if you can't win, don't try.
It's not okay to lose.
If something's hard to do, it's not worth doing.
The Three Important Sentences:
Cover for me.
Ooh, good idea, boss!
It was like that when I got here!
The Code of the Schoolyard
(The Rules That Teach a Boy to Be a Man)
Don't tattle.
Always make fun of those different from you.
Never say anything unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.
How to Fight
When a bully thinks you're going to throw a punch, you throw a glob of mud in his eyes and then you sock him when he's staggering around blinded. And there is nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned. And if you get a chance, get him right in the family jewels.
First, you gotta scream like a woman and keep sobbing until the other turns away in disgust. That's when it's time to kick some back! And then when he's lying on the ground, kick him in the rib, step on his neck and run like hell.
About bribing
It never hurts to grease the wheels. A cupcake there, a good number here.
It's the three roads to success:
Work
Brains
Cupcakes
How to get rid of a girlfriend:
I like you as a friend.
I think we should see another people.
I no speak English.
I'm married to the seas.
I don't want to kill you, but I will.
I'm not gay, but I'll learn.
When it comes to compliments, women are bloodsucking monsters, who want more, more, MORE! And if you give it to them... you get plenty back in return...
A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, three hundred pounds, they make ice.
A woman is a lot like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you're ready to go over your own mother to get one! But you can't stop at one! You want to drink another woman!
Homer and the Bible
Gambling is right, they even say in the Bible it's right. (Somewhere in the back.)
Thou shalt not take moochers into thy hut.
Thou shalt not horn into thy husband's racket.
