Funniest Simpsons lines ever

[HowHigh]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whadmRePr_8

Wiggum: It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge
Nut: Forget about the badge, when do we get the freakin guns?
Wiggum: Hey I've told you, you dont get your gun until you tell me your name.
Nut: I've had it up to here with your 'rules'

 

[Horrie Is God]

Homer: Marge I'm going to a hardcore gay bar & i won't be home until 3am..
Marge:Okay,have fun..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Patty:I don't trust that Homer Simpson..He's that rare combination of up to something,& good for nothing..

 

[Red Bear]

Not a line but

"Sneeds Feed and Seed - formally Chucks"

 

[Hallatia]

I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart
we're all gonna die, Lis
I meant soon
so did I

 

[Earl]

Thinking about starting my wedding toast with this bad boy;

Homer: "Websters Dictionary describes a wedding as the removal of weeds from ones garden."

 

[Twizzle]

but she'll be marrying one

 

[Danish]

Thinking about starting my wedding toast with this bad boy;

Homer: "Websters Dictionary describes a wedding as the removal of weeds from ones garden."

I started my wedding speech with:

"If I could just say a few words.... I'd be a better public speaker!"

 

[Earl]

but she'll be marrying one

How can you marry a wedding?

I started my wedding speech with:

"If I could just say a few words.... I'd be a better public speaker!"

I need to weigh up the pros and cons.

There will be about 6 or so people in the room who will be in hysterics and another 100 odd who will think I'm f**king geniused :lol:

 

[Twizzle]

How can you marry a wedding?



I need to weigh up the pros and cons.

There will be about 6 or so people in the room who will be in hysterics and another 100 odd who will think I'm f**king geniused :lol:

a weed

 

[Red Bear]

How can you marry a wedding?



I need to weigh up the pros and cons.

There will be about 6 or so people in the room who will be in hysterics and another 100 odd who will think I'm f**king geniused :lol:

"It's been an emotional day...Even the cake is in tiers"

 

[Scott Gourley's Lovechild]

Marge: Who's Muntu?

Katange: He is our leader, who seized power in a bloodless coup. All smotherings.




Homer: So I notice your home smells of faeces.

Dr Bushwell: Yes.

Homer: And not just monkey faeces.

 

[Cliffhanger]

I started my wedding speech with:

"If I could just say a few words.... I'd be a better public speaker!"

:lol: that never stops being funny.

 

[abpanther]

Yep, that's a cracker!!

 

[Apey]

Relevant to what Danish said and also this thread:

I'm a man of few words.
...
Any questions?

ah f**k, once again the next lines are brilliant too.

Homer: Is a poop deck really what I think it is?
Captain: I like the cut of your jib.
Homer: What's a jib?
Captain: Promote that man.

Sometimes I feel like I could just copy and paste entire episode scripts...

 

[abpanther]

"Lisa, quit getting in the way of your wealthy brother's peas"

 

[Zoidberg]

McBain - "ice to see you"

Troy McClure - Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!

Ralph- Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Ralph - Hi Principal Skinner, hi Supernintendo Chalmers.

 

[Zoidberg]

Homer - All I'm using this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort.

 

[abpanther]

I love that super nintendo one

 

[Scott Gourley's Lovechild]

Ralph - Hi Principal Skinner, hi Supernintendo Chalmers.

:lol:

Greatest

Line

EVER!

 

[urban eel]

"High as a kite everybody, goofballs!" Chief Wiggum