Funniest Simpsons lines ever

[Horrie Is God]

Homer: I don't mind being called a liar when i'm lying..or about to lie..or just finished lying..
BUT NOT WHEN I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!!..

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Marge: Homer you couldn't got on a hunger strike..You eat while you're brushing your teeth..

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Homer: Who are you??..
Spirit of Cesar Chavez: The Spirit of Cesar Chavez..
Homer: Then why do you look like Cesar Romero??
Spirit of Cesaar Chavez: Because you don't know what Cesar Chavez looks like..

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Marge: Homer you're still here??..You should've left for work an hour ago..
Homer: They said if i come in late one more time i'm fired..I can't take that chance..

 

[Hallatia]

Dad, I think he's an ivory dealer! His boots are ivory, his hat is ivory, and I'm pretty sure that check is ivory.
Lisa, a guy who's got lots of ivory is less likely to hurt Stampy than a guy whose ivory supplies are low.

 

[urban eel]

ner ner ner ner ner batman Doh! leader

 

[Rhino_NQ]

tramampoline!!

 

[Zoidberg]

Trambopaline!

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Saxamaphone.

 

[abpanther]

"It was like that when I got here it really was..."

 

[Rhino_NQ]

Announcer: "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Krusty's Komedy Klassic"

Krusty: "Hey Hey!! It's great to be back at apollo theatre "looks behind him" KKK!! Oh that's not good"

 

[Apey]

[youtube]jR7m-4Vc3MU[/youtube]

One of the greatest scenes.

 

[MattYg1]

Krusty: All right, you poindexters, let's get this right!
One: "Hey, hey, kids, I'm Talking Krusty."
Two: "Hey, hey, here comes Slideshow Mel" -- again -- "Here
comes Sideshow Mel". "Sideshow Mel".
Three: [does a Krusty laugh]
Budda-bing, budda-boom, I'm done. Learn from a professional, kid.
[walks out, squeals his tires away]
Techie: OK, Krusty, we are ready to roll any -- what the...?

 

[Red Bear]

Homer: Well, time to go to work.
Homer's brain: Little do they know I'm ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour.
Homer: Roll in at nine, punch out at five, that's the plan.
Homer's brain: Heh, heh, heh. They don't suspect a thing. [camera pans down to Homer's mouth, but he doesn't say anything] Well, off to the plant.
Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery.
Homer's brain: Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it?
Homer: [panicky] I've got to think of a lie fast!
Marge: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?
Homer: Aah! [Runs off]

 

[dogslife]

Homer: Oh, and how is "education" supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how!

 

[Red Bear]

You've got it Marge, no deer for a month

 

[urban eel]

Crowd: We need a cure! We need a cure!
Dr. Hibbert: Why, the only cure is bed rest. Anything I give you would only be a placebo.
Woman in Crowd: Where do we get these placebos?
Man: Maybe there's some in this truck!
[the panicky crowd push over a truck, boxes labeled "danger killer bees" break open, the bees go everywhere and everyone panics, one man puts a bee in his mouth]
Man: I'm cured! I mean, ouch!

 

[IanG]

After Lard Lad gets his giant donut back but still smashes up the town and NOT ends all the Horror

HOMER: Don't you ever get tired of being wrong all the time?
MARGE: Sometimes

 

[Zoidberg]

Homer teaching a class about Successful Marriages.
HOMER - Yes, to the untrained eye, I'm eating an orange. But to the eye that has brains, I'm making a point about marriage. For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange. First, you have the skin. Then the sweet, sweet innards.

WILLY - If I wanted to see a man eat an orange, I would have taken the orange-eating class!

Cut to another classroom.
HANS MOLEMAN - The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.

Grampa - Just eat the damn oranges!

 

[IanG]

Doesn't even need a quote tbh

Then there was the episode where Grimes Jr shows up

 

[Rhino_NQ]

Mr Burns "Are you daft man!! Use an open faced club, a sandwedge"
Homer "MMMMMM Open faced club sandwich"

 

[ME SO HORNBY!]

Milhouses Dad: I sleep in a racing car... DO YOU?

Homer: I sleep in a big bed with my wife.

 

[IanG]

[youtube]jR7m-4Vc3MU[/youtube]

One of the greatest scenes.

Krusty: What The Hell Was That?