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Funniest Simpsons lines ever

Apey

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
28,283
Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.

Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?
 

ggmu

Juniors
Messages
1,263
Marge: Homer I'm going with my sister don't forget to pick up Bart.
Homer: ( watching wheel of fortune solves puzzle) I'm On My Way.
Homer: What u say Marge?

Gets me every time.
 

Apey

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
28,283
Barbershop Quartet episode has so many classic lines.

Nigel: Oh yes...Bouffant Betty. Well, I would prefer if we kept your marriage a secret. You see, a lot of women are going to want to have sex with you, and, er, we want them to think they can.
Homer: Well, if I explain it to Marge that way, I'm sure she'll understand.

120.jpg



Homer: We'd like to dedicate this next number to a very special woman. She's a hundred years old, and she weighs over two hundred... tons.
Man: This enormous woman will devour us all! Aah!

143.jpg
 

Springs

First Grade
Messages
5,682
On the recent re-watch of the best seasons I noticed a lot of jokes I didn't get when I was younger.

Like:

Bart: Cool! There's a balloon machine in the bathroom!

Homer: If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
 

Apey

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
28,283
We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
 

HowHigh

Coach
Messages
12,819
lol good old Grandpa

The metric system is the tool of the devil. My car gets forty rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I likes it!


Not many people know this but I owned the first radio in Springfield. Of course, all that was on in those days was Edison reciting the alphabet. "A," he'd say. Then "B." "C" would usually follow...


My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say dickety because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles.
What are you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem! Now, I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlet...
 

Scorpio30

Bench
Messages
4,334
Something like "Homer, very few cartoons are broadcast live....it places a lot of strain on the animators wrist".
 

Scorpio30

Bench
Messages
4,334
Haven't seen an episode for a while now but just caught the end of an episode where Moe has a talking rag...I assume they jumped the shark a while ago.
 

BDR

First Grade
Messages
7,526
I've been called ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly, but never ugly ugly.
 

Bulldog Force

Referee
Messages
20,619
With Channel 10 now re-airing the older episodes at 6:00pm (thankfully), it's got me thinking, so what are you favorite Simpsons episodes?

My top 3...

Mountain of Madness: Homer and Mr. Burns get trapped after a series of avalanches buries their snow cabin.
Nuclear Physics 101: Homer goes back to university to get his degree in Nuclear Physics.
Frank Grimes - I can't remember the name of the episode, but it's also the one where Bart buys a factory in Downtown Springfield for $1.
 

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,850
Actually changed one of mine.

Top 3.
1. Union episode. (Last exit to Springfield)
2. Monorail episode. (Marge vs the monorail)
3. Baseball episode (Homer at the bat)
 
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