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Funniest Simpsons lines ever

Rhino_NQ

Immortal
Messages
33,050
"simpson, homer simpson, he's the greatest man in history, from the, town of springfield, and he's about to hit a chestnut tree ARRGHH" !CRASH!
 

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,829
The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... The Killbot Factory.

I did it! Second in line and I only had to take 8 days off work.
 

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,829
From Bart gets an elephant:

Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.

Lisa: Mr. Blackheart, are you an ivory dealer?
Mr. Blackheart: Well, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the fox network. And, like most people, yeah I've dealt a little ivory.
 

Jason Maher

Immortal
Messages
35,991
Homer's brain: Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts.

*Imagines Patti and Selma shaving their legs*

Homer's brain: Ewwwwww... that's unsexy!
 

Rhino_NQ

Immortal
Messages
33,050
Milhouse "Principal Skinner, why do we have to leave the touch and learn reptile house so early?"

Skinner "Well, it seems someone was riding the giant tortoise naked"

Otto "It's not my fault, the drinking fountain dared me to do it"
 

Danish

Referee
Messages
32,019
Homer: He's taking the elephant instead of the money... *SCREAMS* We'll call you back!

Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we'd be MILLIONAIRES!!

Homer: Don't you know what we could do with that money? Love. Front AND rear spoilers for the car...

Marge: Or double glazed windows! They look just like regular windoes but we'll save 4% on our heating bill.... Well we will

THen later in the episode:

Lisa: How would you like to be sold to an ivory dealer

Homer: I'd be fine with it

Bart: Even if they sold you teeth to make piano keys

Homer: Of course! Who wouldn't like that? to be part of the music industry.

Upon realising homer is standing in the tar pit

Lisa: DAD!! You're sinking!!!

Homer: Not to worry. First I'll pull my legs out with my arms... And now, I'll pull my arms out, with my face
 

Alba

Coach
Messages
13,367
From Bart gets an elephant:

Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.

Lisa: Mr. Blackheart, are you an ivory dealer?
Mr. Blackheart: Well, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the fox network. And, like most people, yeah I've dealt a little ivory.


:lol::lol::lol::lol:I need a Simpsons marathon in my life!
 

Bulldog Force

Referee
Messages
20,619
damn sexy flanders
Close...

71e.png
 

gUt

Coach
Messages
16,935
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
 

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