madunit's jibberish thread

[Phillips]

The justice in them getting you to make your bed and keeping your room clean will be realised when you become a parent.

when i have kids they will respect my authority :x

or i will kill and eat them...

 

[madunit]

Observation #11 The little toe
Does this toe have a use? I have often been asked this question and the answer is yes.

The little toe is the primary toe used for finding the leg of furniture in the dark. And when you do stump your little toe, you suffer the most excruciating pain...for about five seconds, and then it goes away.

And while you are in that five seconds of agony, you are screaming. But its such a high pitched scream that only dogs can hear it. This explains why dogs bark at night.

 

[madunit]

did your dad come in when madunit had lady company

I never had lady company there

 

[Phillips]

my little toe has been cut....stupid f**king bed frame :x it still hurts

 

[Panthers_Gurl]

did your dad come in when madunit had lady company

I never had lady company there

poor madunit

 

[madunit]

dopey ugly f**ked up unit is more correct. No more to be said on the matter here

 

[MysteryGirl]

Too funny Madunit! :lol:
Not sure why Sandy didn't find it funny. Maybe EA is right? #-o

 

[Crusader]

Pass the popcorn :lol:

Madunit this is some of your best work :lol: :lol: :lol:

Although I do think you're being a little tough on RJ, he totally has a point :twisted:

 

[madunit]

Observation #12 The alarm
There are two extreme's with the alarm,
#1 - You set your alarm, and have a crappy nights sleep because you fear that you'll sleep through the time when the alarm goes off. Five minutes before you have to get up, you finally have some great sleep, for half an hour!

#2 - You set your alarm, and wake up just a few minutes before it is set to go off. You question exactly why you bothered having it turned on in the first place. You also feel that because you've woken up early, you are eligible for a quick 1 minute nap as a bonus before getting up. Whats the deal with that? You're not getting any rest at this stage, you're just wasting time. The same way you wasted time by setting the alarm.

 

[Alba]

yes my lil toe got broken cause my mum put a box outside my door full of books but i didnt know and i walked out to go to the kitchen and went str8 into it and my toe bent right back and SNAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!! OUCHHHHH!! i cried like a lil baby!!

 

[Ron Jeremy]

i hate saying it but, poor thing!!!....that would've hurt!!!

Nibblet always hurts me in other ways :lol:

 

[madunit]

Observation #12 Late night television
Back in the days when I was a bar manager, I used to get home rather early in the morning and I used to turn the television on as I was winding down.

I was always baffled as to why telemarketing programs were on at 4am. Lets have a look at the situation.

Purpose
To inform the general public about new products which they can purchase via the program.

Fact
To percentage of the general public that are watching their televisions at that hour of the day is significantly smaller than at almost any other time slot throughout the day.

You do the math.

 

[Ron Jeremy]

Madunit, enough of your shit. :lol:

 

[madunit]

you love it RJ, I know you do :lol:

 

[Alba]

he does?? HMMMMM!!! :arrow: :|

 

[madunit]

Oberservation #13 The toilets on trains

Firstly, they are so tiny that if I were to crack a semi in there, my dick would touch three walls.

Secondly, that f**king smell!!!! There's no point having a flush for the toilet if:

a) there's no deodoriser/soapy stuff/etc in the toilet

b) dopey men continue to piss all over the floor and the seat. Sure, this can be due to the rocking of the train, but surely if you're a skilled enough handler, you can allow for the movement and contain your urine to the centre of the toilet

c) lazy people too scared to flush the toilet, irrespective of the lack of point 'a'

Thirdly, no one taking the time to clean this toilet at all. There are toilet cleaners in every other industry, why aren't there any in the rail industry? I pay too much money on tickets to be walking around in other peoples urine.

Finally, smokers who think that;
"No Smoking On This Train" means
"No Smoking On This Train Except For In The Toilet"

 

[Raider_69]

Raider_69's Rant #1

Smokers and their habbits
Well my mother is a smoker, she was a harrizon 16's smoker and decided that was killing her so she would go down a level, now she is on 8's and is smoking more than 2x the amount she used to #-o #-o

Passive smoke
Fair go fellas, i mean my mate goes through a pack a day and lives by the motto "i payed for the smoke so your not getting my dregs for free"-- SMOKERS TAKE NOTE! no one likes having smoke pound their face in a conversation, a little consideration thanks!

The I Quit
Every day without fail my mate proclaims he will give up smoking, its been over 9 months since he said it the first time, since then he has gone from 16's to 20+... If you dont intend on stopping then FFS dont say your going to!

This has been a Raider Rant, Thank you for your time

 

[madunit]

Observation #14 The relatives
We all have those relatives that we hardly see. You know the one's, you see them once every fifteen years.

There's a general procedure which everyone must endure when greeting these relatives.
*First you must stand there quietly and force out a smile on making eye contact with them.
*You must let them maul your face, as they don't seem to remember what human feels like.
*You must endure that god awful smell. Its odour with a dash of lavender usually.
*Then the downright dumb comments begin, usually with getting your name mixed up with no one related to the family in any way whatsoever, sometimes even calling you a name of the opposite sex.
*The the bleeding obvious, "Look how much you've grown!" Considering the last time they saw you was 3 months after birth and now you're 15, its expected that some growing would have taken place.
*Your comments are usually misinterpreted and then ignored.
*You are then asked the same question all day long.
*You have to deal with that dreaded hanky with spit on it.
*And some of them feel it neccessary to show affection by giving you a kiss on the cheek when you leave. You can feel the acid from their infested mouth burning through your face, as well as the pungent 'aroma' of their body attacking your nose and giving you a headache.

Worst of all, your parents endure this as well, yet they still persevere in dragging you along to suffer with them.

Is that some evil revenge for the pain we caused them when we were born?

Its not our fault our parents failed to use contraception. Mum, Dad, deal with the oldies on your own! :evil:

 

[madunit]

Observation #15 Bodily waste

It shocked me recently to see people in the streets, on trains, anywhere in public, who would blow their nose, and then look at the contents of the tissue which they just ble their nose into.

Why look at that? Its snot, its not pretty. Are they expecting to find something thats been missing for a long time to pop out of there.

A man blows his nose into a tissue, has a look and then says "That's where the remote got to, I've been looking everywhere for that!"

 

[Earl]

Madunit has too much time on his hands people.