What's new
By:
Advanced search…
The Front Row Forums

Register a free account today to become a member of the world's largest Rugby League discussion forum! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Non Footy Chat Thread II

the phantom menace

the phantom menace

Coach
Messages
12,058
Gronk said:
A largish lady used to work for me. She sadly had a thyroid issue, which led to her unfortunate weight problem.

She followed all her doctors advice but to no avail. I’m sure that the frozen Sara Lee chocolate cake in the top drawer of her desk that she ate with a fork every other day, had nothing to do with it.
View attachment 80895
There once was a gal named Marlene,
Whose chocolate cake love was obscene.
With each bite, her heart cried,
For the pain she'd hide inside,
But she found happiness in every sweet dream.
Click to expand...
That reminds me of the... fattest (sorry can't think of a more sensitive word) high school teacher I had back in the day or have ever seen - and I mean fat - who would bring a small foam esky with six cans of diet coke with him to class.

Sorry Ernie, the diet coke didn't work... RIP.
 
emjaycee

emjaycee

Coach
Messages
13,945
the phantom menace said:
That reminds me of the... fattest (sorry can't think of a more sensitive word) high school teacher I had back in the day or have ever seen - and I mean fat - who would bring a small foam esky with six cans of diet coke with him to class.

Sorry Ernie, the diet coke didn't work... RIP.
Click to expand...
* largest
* obese
* most overweight
* plump

There you go... sensitivity isn't that hard.
 
hindy111

hindy111

Post Whore
Messages
63,554
the phantom menace said:
That reminds me of the... fattest (sorry can't think of a more sensitive word) high school teacher I had back in the day or have ever seen - and I mean fat - who would bring a small foam esky with six cans of diet coke with him to class.

Sorry Ernie, the diet coke didn't work... RIP.
Click to expand...

Hobsy? Great bloke. Some guys from the Penrith forum would know him. Passed away after years ago.
 
Gronk

Gronk

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
78,117
Gary Gutful said:
Hobsy was the man. Could eat a whole sausage roll without even chewing.
Click to expand...
Reminds me of an avant garde circus we saw once as part of the Sydney Festival. In the speigeltent at Hyde Park, a scantly clad tattooed woman did circus things and then proceeded to sword swallow various household and non household items. Concluding with a fluorescent tube, which when turned on and the house lights off, was a tad trippy.

1697744863280.jpeg
 
Gronk

Gronk

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
78,117
There is a merkin on twitter that I can't post here cos his handle is Shitf**kery.

Anyway he is @hineyrulz kindred spirit and is making bald jokes today about a certain opposition leader.

Hiney, thought you'd like this gem.

shopping.jpeg
 
parra pete

parra pete

Referee
Messages
20,683
A Sydney lawyer went duck hunting in rural Hay . He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it.."
The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Hay. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom..
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the
farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay" Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Top