Dread for Sharks.
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How to Start a Supporter’s Club in 10 weeks
Everybody knows that Sharks fans don’t travel. It’s one of the great rugby league truths; nay, a tradition, just like how the Roosters have no juniors and St George Illawarra have had their premiership slate wiped clean. It’s one of those things that can’t be disputed.
Likewise, it’s something that, despite its cut and dried nature, is disputed nonetheless. I haven’t met a Dragons fan yet who willingly accepts that, when they engulfed the Illawarra, they lost all of their proud history and premiership records to boot. We Sharks fans like to delude ourselves, crying readily from the mountaintops that Sharks fans do like to travel; we just spread ourselves all over a stadium so as to form an illusion of non-attendance.
Such an excuse, of course, is absolute bollocks.
The Sharkie Army, these days known as the Finatics, has always battled on, despite dwindling numbers. Often, however, it appears as though they have more big flags than they have members to wave them. They tradition of the non-travelling Sharks fan lives on.
That is, until 2006.
Witness, my friends, my compatriots, my beloved forum sevens referee, the birth of the CSSC – the Cronulla Sutherland Supporters Club.
Fed up with this state of affairs, a tiny group of like minded young adults banded together to form something that most other clubs had established long ago – an impressive visual presence at away games. They concocted a plan, involving a convoluted system of membership fees, giant banners, polo shirts, truckers caps and sponsorships. They battled through all manner of obstacles; official paperwork, bizarre documentation, bank accounts and fiery locals at Northies, but in the end, they emerged with a sleek new product, the likes of which Sharks fans had never seen before.
Of course, to ask Sharks fans to pay forty dollars to join a club that would allow them to go to away games – something they had never bothered to do before – appeared, at first, somewhat ambitious. What crazed individual would take up such an offer?
Those that wanted to be adorned by the silky blue threads of the official CSSC uniform, that’s who.
And so it was that within weeks, upwards of 50 members had paid and received their merchandise. It was not unlike Jesus passing out bread to his followers, except in this case, the goods passed out were of high material value, and the followers had happily shelled out their hard earned to get their hands on it.
All was well in the land…
… that is, until the evil dictators perched high up in Sharkies Leagues Club heard about the good deeds that the CSSC were performing. One day, a nefarious underling of the club confronted the fine men of the CSSC, demanding to know what they were doing.
‘We are merely creating a supporters club in the effort to support our beloved footballers when they venture forth, out of the Shire.’
‘Bah!’ spat the underling. ‘You’re dragging paying customers away from our own supporters club!’
And with that, they parted ways. As it turned out, the official supporters club was nothing but a money spinner for the club, doing little to actually prod local fans off their backsides and out to support the football team. The package included a ticket to one home game, a bus ticket to an away game, a lovely (yet incredibly cheap) Sharks shopping bag, keyring and a few pieces of paper.
It was clear why the monstrous club officials were angry at the good hearted CSSC – they were showing them up a thousand fold.
Of course, the CSSC did not let this put them off, and they set off to support their team in the first game against the Broncos. All manner of wonderful people appeared, adorned in their beautiful blue polo shirt, cheering and chanting and ranting and raving, only to watch as the football team couldn’t hold a football and crumbled at the might of the underperforming Broncos.
But let that not stop us! For the CSSC will be back, jumping all hurdles thrown in its way as we set off to assault the mighty fortress Brookvale this Saturday night.
May the legend of the non travelling Sharks fan be thrown into the rubbish bin, to forever join St. George’s premiership record, as Shire folk rise up and march beyond Tom Ugly’s bridge for the first time in recorded history.
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