Shire People

[MEE]

the shire is a poor mans north shore.

it's ages away from the city and you have like 3 beaches to choose from.

 

[Melstar]

MEE, whatever happened with that girl from the Shire you liked?

 

[MEE]

MEE, whatever happened with that girl from the Shire you liked?

which one. theres like 5 of them.

the one from bonnet bay?

 

[Melstar]

possibly. You saw her in a carpark or something, cant really remember details.

 

[Jimbo]

Want more?

Me
Ian Thorpe

that confirms it
the shire is the queerest area known to man

The St George district still houses Dimitri though

 

[j_tig]

FOR THE CHOSEN FEW:
An American decided to write a book about famous churches of Australia. For his first chapter he decided to write about famous Sydney churches. So he bought a plane ticket and made the trip to St Mary's Cathedral thinking that he would work his way down the country. On his first day he was inside the cathedral taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call". The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American
thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was Star of the Sea at Waverly. There, at a very large church, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw at St Mary's and he asked a nearby nun what it's purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. "O.K., thank you", said the American. He then traveled on through the North Shore and in every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it. With his first chapter going well, he left Northern Sydney and traveled the Sutherland Shire. Again, there was the same golden Telephone, but this time the sign under it read "10 cents per call." The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over Sydney, and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in all the churches in Sydney the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?" The priest smiled and answered, "You're in the Shire now son. It's a local call"

 

[MEE]

FOR THE CHOSEN FEW:
An American decided to write a book about famous churches of Australia. For his first chapter he decided to write about famous Sydney churches. So he bought a plane ticket and made the trip to St Mary's Cathedral thinking that he would work his way down the country. On his first day he was inside the cathedral taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call". The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American
thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was Star of the Sea at Waverly. There, at a very large church, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw at St Mary's and he asked a nearby nun what it's purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. "O.K., thank you", said the American. He then traveled on through the North Shore and in every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it. With his first chapter going well, he left Northern Sydney and traveled the Sutherland Shire. Again, there was the same golden Telephone, but this time the sign under it read "10 cents per call." The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over Sydney, and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in all the churches in Sydney the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?" The priest smiled and answered, "You're in the Shire now son. It's a local call"

:roll:

The original punch line is 'you're in the northern beaches now, it's a local call'

stop stealing our gags.

 

[MEE]

possibly. You saw her in a carpark or something, cant really remember details.

I can't seem to remember. I'm sure it ended in rejection though.

 

[j_tig]

thats the way i got told it, and since the shire is gods country it makes more sense!

 

[MEE]

thats the way i got told it, and since the shire is gods country it makes more sense!

Anywhere within 20 minutes of bankstown couldn't be considered as 'God's country' imo.

Not only does the northern beaches have the lowest unemployment in the country at just 3.4% and a majority share of celebs but it also lacks a railway line that prevents stray westies from invading our golden sand beaches unlike 'nulla.

 

[The Whippet]

That is why god created the great Georges River to stop people from Bankstown from invaiding the beautiful Shire.

 

[j_tig]

That is why god created the great Georges River to stop people from Bankstown from invaiding the beautiful Shire.

so very true!!!

 

[chileman]

Alright people of the Shire I need your help here. I'm moving to the shire soon and don't know a lot about it so can you tell me the good suburbs and bad suburbs because my family are looking for a house.

Any help appreciated.

Thank you.

Heathcote and Engadine are the best suburbs to live in....watch out for those that live at Bangor though....very strange lot :lol: (wonders if groggo or sharkette read this section) Best fish and chip shop in NSW is in Heathcote which is very important of course

 

[ucantseeme]

This is a review of the cronulla night spot Northies from www.eatability.com I did not write this but bust a gut laughing at it cause it is true especially this "G'Day Champ" business, i hate that. This is what you have to look forward to....

The saddest of imitation yuppie bars, Northies, where you can queue up by the curb of the shires' main arterial roadway for up to 1 hour to be intimidated by the bouncer of your choice selected from a huge range of ex-cons, roid-rangers, and hotbodz employees.

After which you can sometimes gain entry, provided you pass their stringent 4 point fashion plan which for boys excludes tasteful clothes, open top shoes, shorts, work clothes and/or anything else the party of hired felons deem unsuitable for the populous. (The fact that this is a beach bar and is located less than 1 min walk from the sand is irrelevant and should never be mentioned in the presence of said employees, under penalty of bashing.)

For girls, as long as the the extreme centre of the nipple is at least partially covered or a phone number is exchanged then admittance is guaranteed and queuing is usually unnecessary.

Once inside you can dance to the best of the crappiest top 40 "hits" and mind numbing techno and continually bumped into by the elite of the Cronulla too-cool bunch complete with sunnies-on-the-head, suitcase walk, arch-back and size-too-small-t-shirt, (16 year girlfriend on the arm optional). Catch phrases such as; "G'day champ", "Easy tiger", and "It's all good" can often be heard also.

Please be careful once inside as there are a number of clearly un-marked "no standing" zones. These usually differ from night to night to the discretion of the aforementioned employees and reasons such as; "no glasses on this floor please", "Please keep this area free for thoroughfare of patrons" and "If you are not playing a poker machine you may not stand in this area of the hotel or gain service at this bar", can be given. (Once again do not mention the shoulder to shoulder conditions inside the main bar or the extortionate alcohol prices, and if absolutely necessary, please refrain from using large words or complicated sentences when conversing with security staff such as; "at", "the" or "your hurting my arm", under punishment of bashing.) Also avoid direct eye contact with security staff as this can be taken as a direct act of violence and is upholdable in a court of law and/or punishable by bashing.

During the course of the evening you may notice, at random intervals, apparently drunk patrons being forcibly ejected from the premises under constant protest. Fear not, however, as these are all paid actors and any and all violence is merely simulated to promote the authority of the security staff. Any injuries incurred are clearly faked and it would be appreciated if all patrons remained strict observers, under penalty of bashing. If you must become involved, security staff will only "play fight" with you after your consumption of several strong beverages or whilst you are intoxicated, and you must "fight" no less than 6 security staff at any given time. After becoming ejected, it would be appreciated if you moved away from the premises as soon as possible, but again, if you must remain, please assist the security staff by laying flat on the ground and screaming "mummy", while the "play fight" resumes and you are affectionately "kicked" and "punched".

 

[lolesi]

Haha, that is pretty true about northies
i hate the bouncers there and i hate waiting to get in there

 

[choc_soldier]

I like the Shire, it's a good place to visit - Cronulla would be my pick. Actually, I think anywhere but Kurnell would be good to live (I am sure it's a nice enough "village", but views of the airport and oil refineries just don't do it for me).

I would personally prefer it over the northern and city beaches.

Not sure if I would ever want to live there though - being a westie is bred into me.

 

[dimitri]

the shire is a terrible place to live with no culture and a population full of surfy red-necks


travelling from the shire to the city is like travelling to another country


the shire is the pits

 

[Jimbo]

So why are you clapping, you dumbo?

 

[Twizzle]

The Shire

The pretend North Shore

The place you live if you dont have a place to live

And that footy team, well nuff said

They may win a premiership when hell freezes over.

 

[Sheros los Deros]

Triathletes Greg Welch and Greg McCormack call the Sutherland Shire home.
Greg Welch says that after travelling overseas, he feels like he's already home when he sees the Royal, and Port Hacking out of the plane window.