thorson1987
Coach
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sensesmaybenumbed said:*sigh* I just spent 45 minutes cleaning up after the most.... comprehensive bowel movement I have seen from mini SMBN to date. She's 14 months old and this is the first time her.... leavings have blocked the toilet. It came up through the plughole in the bath ffs. I had to clean her off, clean up the bath, wash her properly then unclog the toilet.
Finally followed by cleaning the actual nappy and clothes in the bath. Then I had a shower, and cleaned the tub again while I was at it.
In my professional opinion as someone who has worked in sewerage treatment plants for nearly 10 years in cities whose populations number in the millions, this was perhaps the most disheartening experienceI have endured with fecal matter to date. At least I got paid in the old job, and as for people who use disposables, I can certainly see the attraction at times like this.
Really, I'm at this point:
Words simply can't convey my utter and complete disbelief at what has transpired, but I'll keep typing away at it nonetheless.
I thought we fed her sufficient fibre to avoid things like this. I really did. I know all about number 3's. After this I can safely say that humanity has not yet developed a supercomputer powerful enough to safely comprehend the number this thing was. I would have taken a picture if I could safely post it on the internet.
You all owe me thanks I did not. If I did it is safe to say the internet itself would have simply shut down in protest. We all know the internet has seen some pretty sick stuff, but this... this....
I think I'll have war vets and disaster survivors putting posters of me on their walls and just staring at it in some form of bizarre therapy, thinking "At least I'm not him..."
The smell struck me first. Not especially potent, but still insistent, lulling me into some false sense of security while at the same time leaving me completely unprepared for what was about to transpire. It was as if a scent had found a way to replicate the performance of Wests Tigers against the Dragons on the weekend - starting off with an offer of hope and such, then rapidly becoming shit vs. shit with seventeen shit chasers on the side.
At times during the ordeal I almost found myself wishing I went for LOL@souffs instead of having to deal with it. I'd like to thank BM for helping the moment pass.
Now if you'll all excuse me I'm going to pour acid across the entirety of the flat before setting fire to the entire block of apartments. Then I'll send a friendly letter to Putin in order to start a nuclear war where all the warheads from Russian and the USA will be detonated in Baltimore in the hopes that the mess here will not be left behind for future generations.
It's a shame I'll miss cask day next week....
at least yours was both in the toilet and in the wet area of your house (although special kudos if that happened at someone else's house)..
It's nice to have your daughters 21st speech written 20 years in advance
No idea how to get a wife? No idea how babies are conceived?
