With my missus, the biggest problem she had dealing with her ex was the why of the whole thing.
Why, when she loved him so much and he said that he loved her, did he then try to run her life and beat her up whenever she didn't play by his rules?
The real cunning of these arseholes is that they manage to pass their problems off to the Women that they bash. It's the guy who has the issue, yet they always leave their Woman feeling that everything is their fault.
Here are some facts that I can pass on to you Dani and if you think about these when you are remembering what this prick did to you, they will help you.
1. What he did to you was not your fault at all. He is 100% in the wrong no matter what he said was the cause of him hitting you.
2. Don't believe any of the limitations he put on you during your relationship. Whatever he said you are or are not capable of doing is false.
3. Don't believe any of the judgement calls he made about your personality or looks. They are false and guys like him make these statements to damage your self confidence.
4. Despite what he says, he does not deserve your pity or your guilt. What he deserves is for you to no longer be in his life.
5. Your healing process has nothing to do with him. Talking to him / trying to make peace with him will only prolong the agony and stall your healing.
These guys control Women by damaging their self confidence to the point where they feel that they are worthless and deserve everything that is being dished out.
You are a better person than he could ever hope to be and you are also far better than he thinks you are.
I'm sure that over the time of your relationship, he would have told you that there are things you are incapable of or even not allowed to do. A good way to kick start your self-confidence is to go and do one of those things. In the case of my wife, she was told that she was too stupid to learn how to drive. She's been driving for about 5 years now and her learning how to drive was a great catalyst for her self confidence.
You need to start undoing some of the damage that he has done to your self image.
SMBN
