Ask LU - The relationship advice thread II

[Springs]

Well that's pretty much the reason I'm still here. For the people I care about.

I understand 9701's point about 'if my children/grandchildren weren't here'. I always thought if I had no one else I'd go walking from the very east of Asia to the very west of Europe. I don't exaggerate when I say my life is more precious to others than it is to me.

 

[Dragon2010]

Doesn't seem like bragging at all - but you should seek help. If things are that bad, you need some guidance, my friend, and as much as we are all happy and much obliged to listen and give you our advice, it seems that professional advice might be best for your needs.

And don't give up. Don't ever give up. Life can suck at times, and then it can turn around and amaze you. Without the lows, we cannot truly appreciate the highs. Trust me - I've been there, as I am sure most other people have. Hit rock bottom, and then bounced back up - and it was so much sweeter knowing I stuck in there. Do the same, mate. Chin up.

Thanks for that. I do keep fighting but problem is I've been through issues, dilemmas and problems non-stop for the past decade. Since the age of 9 I've been battling physically, emotionally and mentally. Everything seems to be taking a turn for the worse and I honestly see no way it will ever improve. I just can't seem to get a break and be able to get a grip on starting a stable, somewhat normal life. When I was a teenager and people were out at parties, socializing and enjoying relationships I was battling depression and my own demons.

While it makes me a tough, resilient person today I'm near-breaking point. I've missed out on a lot of important aspects of growing up and sometimes I feel empty because of it.

I honestly keep wondering how I can have it so bad, I'm not some evil twisted person and I don't know what I've done to deserve such a tough life from a young age; and still on-going. Now it's just fake-smiles, pretend happy to keep the small bit of sanity I have and make it think to my family I'm okay. (When really they are one of the many issues).

Could be worse mate...imagine if you were a Cronulla supporter !

Not to speak blasphemy but I'd rather support Cronulla then the issues I'm having.

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

Well that's pretty much the reason I'm still here. For the people I care about.

I understand 9701's point about 'if my children/grandchildren weren't here'. I always thought if I had no one else I'd go walking from the very east of Asia to the very west of Europe. I don't exaggerate when I say my life is more precious to others than it is to me.

I'd say that's a fairly noble sentiment. If I'm gone, how the hell would I notice it! That would be a burden for others to bear, and I'd rather delay that for as long as possible - health willing.

 

[soc123_au]

My older brother suicided when I was 15 since then I have never truly been happy. I cherish time with my children and grand children but once I am alone again I go back to seeing no point in it, I think that's why I was a decent soldier I didn't care where I went or what I did.

I wont ever take my own life I know how much that hurt my family when my brother did it.

Mate I have read a few of your posts & can relate to some of your stuff. Obviously you are an ex Digger. Have you ever read the book "No Hell for Heroes"? If not I reckon you should. So much so that if you havent PM me your address & I will mail it to you. I read it a few weeks ago & I reckon it would do you good.

 

[Eelementary]

Thanks for that. I do keep fighting but problem is I've been through issues, dilemmas and problems non-stop for the past decade. Since the age of 9 I've been battling physically, emotionally and mentally. Everything seems to be taking a turn for the worse and I honestly see no way it will ever improve. I just can't seem to get a break and be able to get a grip on starting a stable, somewhat normal life. When I was a teenager and people were out at parties, socializing and enjoying relationships I was battling depression and my own demons.

While it makes me a tough, resilient person today I'm near-breaking point. I've missed out on a lot of important aspects of growing up and sometimes I feel empty because of it.

I honestly keep wondering how I can have it so bad, I'm not some evil twisted person and I don't know what I've done to deserve such a tough life from a young age; and still on-going. Now it's just fake-smiles, pretend happy to keep the small bit of sanity I have and make it think to my family I'm okay. (When really they are one of the many issues).



Not to speak blasphemy but I'd rather support Cronulla then the issues I'm having.

My friend, I understand what you're going through, and better than you might think. I almost gave up and ended my life - truly. It was a combination of factors, but ultimately, I found things (however small they might be) that kept me wanting to go on. Believe it or not, the Parramatta Eels were one of those things - I just can't get over how much I enjoy watching my club play (yes, even in 2012, when we played abysmal football).

But after finding some things to cling to (and getting stubborn and not letting these things defeat me), I found some help. People dismiss counsellors for all sorts of reasons, but trust me - they really do God's work, to use an expression. Were it not for a few psychiatrists and Lifeline volunteers (as well as friends, family and the little things that make life great), I wouldn't be here today.

I, and I am assuming everyone else here, am more than happy to listen and give advice - but it seems that if things are that sour, then it might be best to seek professional help. There are people who want to make sure people such as your good self get through their rock bottom moments intact, and their aid is invaluable.

 

[Dragon2010]

My friend, I understand what you're going through, and better than you might think. I almost gave up and ended my life - truly. It was a combination of factors, but ultimately, I found things (however small they might be) that kept me wanting to go on. Believe it or not, the Parramatta Eels were one of those things - I just can't get over how much I enjoy watching my club play (yes, even in 2012, when we played abysmal football).

But after finding some things to cling to (and getting stubborn and not letting these things defeat me), I found some help. People dismiss counsellors for all sorts of reasons, but trust me - they really do God's work, to use an expression. Were it not for a few psychiatrists and Lifeline volunteers (as well as friends, family and the little things that make life great), I wouldn't be here today.

I, and I am assuming everyone else here, am more than happy to listen and give advice - but it seems that if things are that sour, then it might be best to seek professional help. There are people who want to make sure people such as your good self get through their rock bottom moments intact, and their aid is invaluable.

Thanks mate, I appreciate it. I know I'm not the only one but to be dragged through it at such a important age and having gone through a continuing poor string of health as well that is only getting worse day by day it's hard.

I don't think I've ever had a good "normal" say since I was 9 years old. That's the last time truly good memory I have. Since then it's felt fake to me. I used to have a good role model I looked up to, a relative of mine. He was an inspiration to me and he committed suicide. It was devastating for me.

Problem is, I care for very little these days. I've copped so abuse and crap from people in my life I just learn to give not a stuff about anything. I used to play World of Warcraft to escape. I was addicted and I was bloody good at it, it was my escape to me. But I've quit now because I'm trying to get a serious start on my adult life and it just feels incredibly hard and I can't get a start. It's issues, after issue, after issues....All I want after 10 years of crap is a break. To feel normal for one day; instead it feels backwards and each day I sink a bit lower. I want help, problem is though. It's not cheap.

 

[Springs]

Talking about Eelementary's Eels keeping him going, that was a major reason for me as well. No matter how bad I was doing I'd always be excited for the next game or the start of the season. Locally as well. I'd always be up for training every week driving over 60kms in and back twice a week and travelling all over the place for games. It was the one thing I really loved doing.

In the last few months something has clicked and I just don't feel it anymore. Pretty much everything I looked forward to every year and I seemed to have lost the passion and excitement. But I'm still very interested, I'm on here every day and keep up to date with everything footy, local and NRL. I'm just not as excited as I used to be. Training started two weeks ago and I've missed five sessions, which I have never done. Even if I couldn't train through injury I'd still show up. Now when the doctor told me not to train because of my neck I used it as a cover-up, 'I didn't go because the doctor said' instead of 'I don't f**king feel like it'. It upsets me greatly that things have caused me to feel this.

I've never let anything beat me, I'm very nihilistic and don't really see a point to fighting for myself but I've never let anyone beat me. I would never hurt myself because of my family and because I could never let myself be seen as giving up. To live without depression though seems as alien to me as a day without this awful head and neck pain I've had since September.
And there's nothing wrong with escaping. I do that every day really. Either through football or the hundreds of stories I surrund myself in.

And for the rest, to quote Bilbo Baggins 'I need a holiday, a very long holiday'.

 

[Cliffhanger]

Man this thread went from pathetic to incredibly depressing!

When I feel suicidal I don't think to myself "I can't, my family would be sad". I think "well f**k I am no quitter, I will achieve all my goals and then kill myself."

I don't think you actually considering suicide if you don't do it because of how it would impact your family. I think when you really want to be dead you believe the world is better off without you in that miserable state and you want to send a message out to your family and friends so they can in part understand how miserable you were.

I think a lot of people here have fairly narrow minded views towards suicide to be honest. I also think nobody should feel like they're living for other people. Not making the most of your life is not much better than committing suicide. Refusing to live your dreams because it means you will have to move away from your family or whatever is silly. I love my family, but I can love them from any corner of the earth. I would be proud of anyone I loved who moved away to pursue a dream.

Maybe the reason a few of you are a bit depressed (not Dragon) is because you're so unwilling to take risks and pursue your ambitions. Stop living for other people and live for you or die at least f**king do it for yourself.

 

[Joker's Wild]

Mostly true there Cliffy, doing things purely because you think it will please others is a slippery slope.

However, when you start a family your mindset changes. You become less selfish (not saying that you are btw) and get a more acute sense of your responsibilities to those who are around you and just how much you impact their lives.

Its difficult to explain but the sense of wanting to be the best you can be not just for you but especially for your kids is very strong.

 

[Jobdog]

Wow, shit just got real in here.

 

[Cliffhanger]

I know I liked this thread a lot better when we were all just calling Knightmare "gay"

 

[dogslife]

Well Knightmare is gay

 

[Bazal]

Man this thread went from pathetic to incredibly depressing!

When I feel suicidal I don't think to myself "I can't, my family would be sad". I think "well f**k I am no quitter, I will achieve all my goals and then kill myself."

I don't think you actually considering suicide if you don't do it because of how it would impact your family. I think when you really want to be dead you believe the world is better off without you in that miserable state and you want to send a message out to your family and friends so they can in part understand how miserable you were.

I think a lot of people here have fairly narrow minded views towards suicide to be honest. I also think nobody should feel like they're living for other people. Not making the most of your life is not much better than committing suicide. Refusing to live your dreams because it means you will have to move away from your family or whatever is silly. I love my family, but I can love them from any corner of the earth. I would be proud of anyone I loved who moved away to pursue a dream.

Maybe the reason a few of you are a bit depressed (not Dragon) is because you're so unwilling to take risks and pursue your ambitions. Stop living for other people and live for you or die at least f**king do it for yourself.

I think there's a lot of rubbish in that tbh. Speaking for myself, there are several people I love more than myself and care about more than myself. That makes me acutely aware of the effect my actions have on them. It doesnt mean I'm living for them, but they help keep me going at times. I wouldn't say I've ever been suicidal as such, but it's an unavoidable part of depression to have suicidal thoughts. I also think your last sentence is crap.

 

[TooheysNew]

I know I liked this thread a lot better when we were all just calling Knightmare "gay"

He's so gay he makes other gay people look... not gay.

 

[madunit]

To even consider suicide in my view, shows a very weak character.

The weak willed who are too much of a softcock to deal with the shit they're in and have no care about those who care about them will take the softcock option and commit suicide.

You learn so much about yourself and become so much stronger when you go through some adversity.

What don't kill you only makes you stronger.

Life is like maths. Every problem has a solution (that isn't death - death is not a mathematically recognised solution to any problem)

 

[madunit]

He's so gay he makes other gay people look... not gay.

could he actually make other gay people ungay?

 

[Scott Gourley's Lovechild]

Life is like maths. Every problem has a solution (that isn't death - death is not a mathematically recognised solution to any problem)

I was terrible at maths. Is there a nerd / Asian kid I can cheat off for the rest of my life?

 

[madunit]

me, I'm a maths champion.

It's kind of a pre requisite when you become a statistician and data analyst ;-)

 

[Knightmare]

He's so gay he makes other gay people look... not gay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mirwAmdGZmY

 

[Dragon2010]

Yes I agree, enough sulking by me. :crazy: