Ask LU - The relationship advice thread

[AlwaysGreen]

Do you humans still say pash?

 

[Cliffhanger]

I don't think it's just your ego, he wasn't honest with you and you have every right to feel let down.

If you do stick with him just make sure he's completely honest and owns up, letting the "I don't remember doing anything' excuse fly would be a big mistake.

 

[Dani]

The thing that pisses me off is that he didn't tell me, I had to find out on fb and look like a total knob, plus his claims of "not remembering" just makes me suss about all the other times he's been out on the piss with the boys and what's gone on. One little random snog I can forgive, but it's just made me have doubts.

I think this would explain my reaction. That little doubt in trust.

 

[StormChaser]

Yeah think we's gonna have a little chat.

 

[Bazal]

Drunken party pash is nothing, certainly not cheating. He should have told you, but maybe he feels shitty about it too. Best to have a chat

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

If he has no fear of breaking your trust, no matter how small the infraction in the first instance, then he'll break your trust again if given the opportunity. You could excuse a drunken pash if it were obvious he didn't mean it and regretted doing it. Had he have told you straight up and apologised I'd let it go but he didn't own up and hasn't apologised. That's strike one, two and three right there in my book.

 

[Bazal]

I don't think it's just your ego, he wasn't honest with you and you have every right to feel let down.

If you do stick with him just make sure he's completely honest and owns up, letting the "I don't remember doing anything' excuse fly would be a big mistake.

And if he really doesn't remember? I have great difficulty getting blackout drunk, but I know guys who can lose whole nights after ten beers. It's not that uncommon

 

[StormChaser]

He does the blackout thing after shots. He lost two whole days on an end of season trip once. I'll talke to him about it, he hasn't f**ked up yet, I don't want to over react but I want him to know I'm not putting up with shit like that either.

 

[adamkungl]

And if he really doesn't remember? I have great difficulty getting blackout drunk, but I know guys who can lose whole nights after ten beers. It's not that uncommon

I black out every now and then. Usually takes a decent night of mixing drinks + shots...or mixers with more spirits than soft drink

 

[adamkungl]

He does the blackout thing after shots. He lost two whole days on an end of season trip once. I'll talke to him about it, he hasn't f**ked up yet, I don't want to over react but I want him to know I'm not putting up with shit like that either.

Seems fair

 

[Cliffhanger]

He does the blackout thing after shots. He lost two whole days on an end of season trip once. I'll talke to him about it, he hasn't f**ked up yet, I don't want to over react but I want him to know I'm not putting up with shit like that either.

Sounds like a good way to deal with it.

 

[Monk]

I am yet to have a blackout, but then again, i'm not the worlds biggest drinker.

But I have mate's who do and if Shire Boy doesn't remember then i'd say there's a good chance he is telling the truth. Try not to come off as a whiney bitch who is super insecure when you talk to him Stormy, chances are he feels just as crap about it as you do.

 

[Joker's Wild]

I would be suss on the whole "I dont remember" thing tbh, its a pretty convenient excuse to use to lower the severity and hard for you to prove otherwise.

The snog wouldnt be the problem for me really if it was known before that it was ok. The fact that he didnt man up and tell you would sew those little mistrust seeds with me. That shit tends to grow and pretty soon become a massive inpass.

I dont envy you Stormy

 

[Twizzle]

storm in a T cup

if he doesn't even remember it, it sort of tells you how much it meant to him

 

[Mr_Raditch]

If it's a serious relationship & you've come to the conclusion that you can no longer trust him, then it maybe time to call it a day. Only you can make that decision, trust is a massive part of a healthy relationship & to have constant doubts about if you can trust your partner or not can put a pretty heavy burden on a relationship. I've never been so drunk that I could completely forget about hooking up with someone when Im with someone else, but thats just me.

I need some advice from members with kids. Did any of you never want kids? But ended up having them. Do you regret having them? Or is it a case of once you have them they always change your life for the better? My GF & I have been together for about 3 years. Lateley we've been talking about our future, marraige, kids etc. She wants kids within the next 5yrs, I dont know if I want them at all. I like my freedom & disposbale income. I like being able to take off at a moments notice to go fishing for the weekend &basically do what I want when I want. I dont like being tied down, & when i think of kids thats what i see. For 20yrs i see myself burdened with the responsibility of providing for them no matter what. I dont know if I want/can be that father that sacrifices what he wants to make sure his kids dont go
without. Im 32 now, maybe in a few years I might think differently but what concerns me is I felt like this at 25 aswell, who's to say im not going to feel the same in 5yrs.

 

[IanG]

Do you humans still say pash?

Yes Bender we do

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

Stormy, I say you just get even with him. Hit the town with the girls and pash on with some random yourself. Then let him know what happened and that it will happen again should he do the same thing. That should stop him...

Btw, if you are looking for a random, let me know...

I need some advice from members with kids. Did any of you never want kids? But ended up having them. Do you regret having them? Or is it a case of once you have them they always change your life for the better? My GF & I have been together for about 3 years. Lateley we've been talking about our future, marraige, kids etc. She wants kids within the next 5yrs, I dont know if I want them at all. I like my freedom & disposbale income. I like being able to take off at a moments notice to go fishing for the weekend &basically do what I want when I want. I dont like being tied down, & when i think of kids thats what i see. For 20yrs i see myself burdened with the responsibility of providing for them no matter what. I dont know if I want/can be that father that sacrifices what he wants to make sure his kids dont go
without. Im 32 now, maybe in a few years I might think differently but what concerns me is I felt like this at 25 aswell, who's to say im not going to feel the same in 5yrs.

This is a tough one.

Let me preface by saying that I don't have kids myself but I'm at a similar stage in life and have been thinking about this recently as well. I also have a swag of family and good mates who have recently had kids and all of them to a Man or Woman have stated that they don't regret it for a second and its the best thing they have ever done.

Even those that were doing it tough and had an "accident" which has made life even tougher say they don't regret it.

At the end of the day mate, it's not all about you and what you want either. You are in a committed relationship and need to be open and honest with your Missus about your feelings as well. If it's a deal breaker for her not to have kids then you have to take a good look at your whole relationship because it isn't fair to deny her something, just as it isn't fair for her to force having kids on you.

Tough times ahead mate. Hope one of you has a change of heart.

 

[Joker's Wild]

I am a new father (going on 4 weeks) and I can tell you there is no room for doubts. You cant take them back, you cant palm them off (well you can give them to the grandparents for a bit but they come back) and as much as you would like to when its 3am and they wont stop screaming, you cant hand them in to the local RSPCA shelter.

All I can say is that if you arnt committed to having kids, dont have them. The missus and I discussed it at length before we decided to have kids and while you will never be fully prepared, we at least were on the same page.

 

[perverse]

I would be suss on the whole "I dont remember" thing tbh, its a pretty convenient excuse to use to lower the severity and hard for you to prove otherwise.

i'd need a calculator to work out the number of times one of my trackhead mates has used the old "don't remember shit" after acting like a total twat the night previous. rofl. can't handle their piss at all. can't says i've had drunken memory loss since i was like... i dunno... 21? ish?

... and words of wisdom on the kids, JW. i'm under no illusions, i am not a suitable father at this stage of my life. end of story. lol. the thought f**king frightens me.

 

[perverse]

also lol @ the "trackhead" word filter... haha...