Cheers for the advice. My main problem is I dont want to lead her on by saying "yep 5 years & I'll be good to go" when im not sure if thats the case. I also dont want to ruin the relationship by refusing to ever have kids, who's to say that in 5yrs I may be ready but single & on the scrap heap :lol:
I've stated that before we even contemplate kids we must own a house (with a kick arse home theater room) & have managed to keep a dog healthy & well trained for a number of years. Hopefully working towards those goals will keep her busy & take her mind off her biological clock for a while.
What if you say:
"Look, if we're still together and happy in 5 years (as I desperately hope we will be honey because you're the love of my life) and we have a house and we're financially secure, I see no reason why we wouldn't start a family then."
But you have to mean it. If you get there and things are tracking well and you try to play for more time because you're just scared you'll have a crying baby ruin your concentration when you're playing WoW in your boxers at 11 am on a Saturday, you are going to have a very angry woman on your hands. Take a longer term view - in a few years, you'll be able to play these games WITH your kids and claim that time as babysitting and bonding for brownie points and leave passes
You can also take that opportunity to be very clear about what your expectations are about her returning to work after kids, when etc. Have some reasonable ideas in your head before you say something like "A few months after the birth should be enough to get back in the swing right?" Get agreement then because you're offering something she wants and it's the time you'll have some leverage to obtain undertakings that she isn't going to expect to be a full time lady who lunches with designer children and a very full schedule.
How old is the other half? The volume of the clock ticking can get pretty deafening as certain milestone birthdays approach - 30 to 35 seems to be a zone in which women really know they have to move otherwise risks like Down Syndrome become a lot higher. If they want a couple, they want to be getting the first one done soon after 30 so they can have the second out by 35. Having a baby near or at 40 is not something most women want to do.
Having one kid only is something my wife and I looked at and were quite comfortable with. Didn't work out that way, but don't listen to all the idiots who tell you having an only child creates selfish and horrible children. Parents create those.
