Ask LU - The relationship advice thread

[Cliffhanger]

My friend went to a private girls school. She went on a date with one of he teachers.

Do not send her to a private girl school, it might turn her into a whore.

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

Karl... Buy a gun. A very big gun.

 

[Cliffhanger]

DKOR reminds me of those devils on cartoon characters' shoulders.

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

I have no idea what 13 / 14 / 15 year old girls are thinking.

I have a very good idea of what a 13 / 14 -> 30 year old boy / man is thinking.

Buy a gun. The biggest you can afford. Even then you will have to be vigilant.

 

[adamkungl]

:lol: We are an honourable people DKOR, nfi what you're on about

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

Sure you don't....

Thats what we all say. Us guys are all as pure as the driven snow. Especially around the ladies.

 

[Karl]

Disturbing but unsurprising feedback.

Cliffhanger, what's the best way to handle it do you think? My wife has had "the talk" ages ago, it's more the emotional issues that concern me because thats when the judgement goes out the window. She's very pretty too (objectively assessed, not because I'm her Dad) which means there will be plenty of boys keen to try their luck. I just want to do what I can to equip her to delay the whole physical side of things as long as possible.

Failing that, I have the equipment to install a tracking chip that monitors heart-rate and autonomic functions and alerts me via text message if they exceed normal boundaries with a map coordinate. That's when I whip past my mates house, grab his little .410 Double Barrel out of the gun safe and recon the situation. Don't want to come in guns blazing if she's just on a girlfriends treadmill now do ?

 

[abpanther]

So glad I don't have daughters...

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

I shudder to think what it would be like to have a teenage daughter. Pretty much the stuff of nightmares imo.

If some guy even looked at her the wrong way I'd be serving his own testicles to him on a platter.

But that's just me.

 

[adamkungl]

If i know anything about teenage girls (which I don't) trying to force the issue will probably just inspire resentment/rebellion. You could try the whole "I trust you to be sensible and do the right thing" angle, and hope that she tries to make good decisions.

Of course I know even less about parenting than I do women, so...

 

[Hallatia]

I, unfortunately, know exactly what DkoR is one about.

Karl, if your daughter's 13 she's already had crushes and whatnot. And it's not difficult for her to have boyfriends and keep it a secret from you and her mum if she doesn't think You can't insulate her against everything and you can' really stop her from dating or whatever, but you can make her feel really unattractive and unworthy of love, so she doesn't think she could be with someone - I am not suggesting you do that, just letting you know that it is an option

 

[adamkungl]

but you can make her feel really unattractive and unworthy of love, so she doesn't think she could be with someone - I am not suggesting you do that, just letting you know that it is an option

uhhh.... well.

wow.

That is way more disturbing than anything me or dkor said :?

 

[StormChaser]

If she's being seriously, she's even more whackadoodle than I thought.

 

[Hallatia]

I said it to suggest that that isn't something you want to resort to, but there is only so much you can protect her, you also just have to trust her, that or lock her inside

 

[thorson1987]

So glad my daughter is only 4 months old. Not looking forward to the teenage years.

My son on the other hand, I would help him as much as I could in the dating thin when he is in high school. And if he does sleep with some chick provided he wears protection I'll congratulate him and give him a beer.

 

[adamkungl]

Resort to? Shouldn't have even thought of it!

 

[StormChaser]

but you can make her feel really unattractive and unworthy of love, so she doesn't think she could be with someone - I am not suggesting you do that, just letting you know that it is an option

That is twelve shades of f**ked up. Teenage girls are already insecure, struggling with the hormonal changes and pressures of being a young woman as well desperately trying to fit in with their peers yet stand out at the same time. Making someone so vulnerable feel unattractive and unworthy of love from their own FATHER would be enough to tip some of them completely over the edge.
As someone who struggled with Bulimia and other self loathing disorders through my teens this really angers me. The only thing you would succeed at doing is sending straight into the arms of the absolute worst douchebag she could find and end up facing the very thing you fear the most as a parent.

 

[Hallatia]

my point is that there isn't much a parent can do which they should resort to anyway

 

[IanG]

Yeah the whole Boy Germs Girl Germs thing. They tend to grow out of it though. Once they get to High School and pubery kicks in

 

[abpanther]

That was a pretty horrible thing to say...