General Discussion Thread

[soc123_au]

Soc is just saying that the father generally feels that connection establish the first time we see them in the ultrasound, which is true to a certain degree.

I mean I got excited when I was told the missus was pregnant, but I got emotional when I saw her on that screen the first time.

Yes. Exactly this. I imagine the connection for a woman is instant given it's growing inside.

 

[ACTPanthers]

My apology, I'm having a bad day. My sentiments still remain. Much concern is given to the female, however, men needs support too. I hope you, and your wife, are receiving that?

As I said above, my main priority is to be strong for Hannah, but I do allow myself a little cry now and then to get it out.

One of the reasons I decided to share on here is because you guys have become something of a support network for me. Pomoz and I have discussed things via PM before and it really helped.

You guys are essentially as close to support I have, but I am NOT complaining

 

[soc123_au]

Thanks brother - Yeah, us Dads get forgotten a little when it comes to this stuff - I need to be a strong shoulder for the missus, but also need to deal with it myself. I've found that writing helps, and allows me to vent without bothering anyone else.

Every now and then, I'll sneak away for a hearty sob, gather myself and then be there for the missus.

It's good you have an outlet with the writing. It's quality writing too by the way.

 

[ACTPanthers]

It's good you have an outlet with the writing. It's quality writing too by the way.

Thanks champion You're a good egg

 

[betcats]

Completely off the topic of footy...

My missus and I lost our baby this week which has hit me really hard. She was 6 months along and I had just seen her on an ultrasound. To say I'm in a bad head space at the moment is an understatement.

Anyway, the reason I post about this is, I find writing my feelings in an artistic way really helped, and I wanted to share a poem I wrote in the early hours of the morning the night she passed.

I'm not a poetic person by any means (I like writing my fiction more) so please don't judge my capability, I just really felt the urge to write down my thoughts and this is how they came out.

I'm sharing with you guys because, as sad as it sounds on an internet forum, most of you I class as friends.

In short, hug your kids, and cherish every moment you spend with them.


Although we never met you, or got to kiss your cheeks,

Your presence was undeniable for those swift and precious weeks,

You were a gift my darling girl, one that was not expected,

And I dreamed of what you’d become, a picture of perfection,

You could have been a dancer, or a writer with a dream,

You could have been an actor, great in every scene,

Whatever you were meant to be, I know that I’d be proud,

The proudest dad you’d ever see, I’d never let you down,

But it wasn’t meant to be my sweet, you weren’t ready for this world,

And it kills me to say goodbye before I met my baby girl,

But you’re free to fly now angel, so spread those wings and soar,

Mummy and daddy both love you, and will forever more.

Very sad to read of your loss ACT, condolences to you and your partner.

 

[Aliceinwonderland]

Completely off the topic of footy...

My missus and I lost our baby this week which has hit me really hard. She was 6 months along and I had just seen her on an ultrasound. To say I'm in a bad head space at the moment is an understatement.

Anyway, the reason I post about this is, I find writing my feelings in an artistic way really helped, and I wanted to share a poem I wrote in the early hours of the morning the night she passed.

I'm not a poetic person by any means (I like writing my fiction more) so please don't judge my capability, I just really felt the urge to write down my thoughts and this is how they came out.

I'm sharing with you guys because, as sad as it sounds on an internet forum, most of you I class as friends.

In short, hug your kids, and cherish every moment you spend with them.


Although we never met you, or got to kiss your cheeks,

Your presence was undeniable for those swift and precious weeks,

You were a gift my darling girl, one that was not expected,

And I dreamed of what you’d become, a picture of perfection,

You could have been a dancer, or a writer with a dream,

You could have been an actor, great in every scene,

Whatever you were meant to be, I know that I’d be proud,

The proudest dad you’d ever see, I’d never let you down,

But it wasn’t meant to be my sweet, you weren’t ready for this world,

And it kills me to say goodbye before I met my baby girl,

But you’re free to fly now angel, so spread those wings and soar,

Mummy and daddy both love you, and will forever more.

You and I ACT have had our differences.

This is very sad news. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Your poem is beautiful.

 

[Whino]

Completely off the topic of footy...

My missus and I lost our baby this week which has hit me really hard. She was 6 months along and I had just seen her on an ultrasound. To say I'm in a bad head space at the moment is an understatement.

Anyway, the reason I post about this is, I find writing my feelings in an artistic way really helped, and I wanted to share a poem I wrote in the early hours of the morning the night she passed.

I'm not a poetic person by any means (I like writing my fiction more) so please don't judge my capability, I just really felt the urge to write down my thoughts and this is how they came out.

I'm sharing with you guys because, as sad as it sounds on an internet forum, most of you I class as friends.

In short, hug your kids, and cherish every moment you spend with them.


Although we never met you, or got to kiss your cheeks,

Your presence was undeniable for those swift and precious weeks,

You were a gift my darling girl, one that was not expected,

And I dreamed of what you’d become, a picture of perfection,

You could have been a dancer, or a writer with a dream,

You could have been an actor, great in every scene,

Whatever you were meant to be, I know that I’d be proud,

The proudest dad you’d ever see, I’d never let you down,

But it wasn’t meant to be my sweet, you weren’t ready for this world,

And it kills me to say goodbye before I met my baby girl,

But you’re free to fly now angel, so spread those wings and soar,

Mummy and daddy both love you, and will forever more.

My deepest condolences to you and your wife. Take care.

 

[age.s]

That's awful to hear ACTP. My deepest condolences to you and your wife and my sincere best wishes in navigating the coming weeks/months.

 

[ACTPanthers]

Thank you all for your kind words and support - I showed Hannah your replies and she was extremely grateful.

 

[Bob]

https://www.smh.com.au/sport/nrl/tw...rld-to-use-new-wada-code-20201203-p56k9v.html
Two-year ban to a month: Naden could be first athlete in world to use new WADA code


Brent Naden could be the first athlete in the world to benefit from a looming change to the WADA Code that can reduce the sanctions for recreational drugs like cocaine from a two-year ban to as little as one month, anti-doping experts believe.

The expert views came as it emerged the Penrith Panthers centre, who returned a positive test to metabolites of cocaine on the day of the NRL grand final, engaged the NRL's go-to lawyer Ramy Qutami to help him navigate his potentially complex case.

Under current WADA guidelines, Naden could have spent at least two years out of the game for the rules violation.

Brent Naden has returned a positive A-sample to metabolites of cocaine after the NRL grand final.Credit:Getty

Now, that could be reduced to as little as a month thanks to a substantial pivot from WADA, the World Anti-Doping Authority, that seeks to recognise 'substances of abuse' that can be consumed out-of-competition and are unrelated to enhanced performance.

The new code will come into force on January 1 and although he may not feel like it at the moment, the 24-year-old could be one of the luckiest athletes on the planet given the timing of the offence and the impending update to the WADA Code, the first such major amendment in six years.

Even if the test was returned in-competition, as will be the case for Naden given it was taken after the grand final on October 25, a three-month sanction will apply if the athlete can prove the use was out-of-competition in a social context and not intended to give them an advantage on the field of play.

Should Naden agree to take part in a treatment program approved by either the NRL or Sport Integrity Australia, the ban could even be reduced to one month.

"If the athlete can establish that any ingestion or use occurred out of competition and was unrelated to sport performance, then the period of ineligibility shall be three months," WADA's new code states.

"In addition, the period of ineligibility may be reduced to one month if the athlete or other person satisfactorily completes a substance of abuse treatment program approved by the Anti-Doping Organization."

Given Naden's violation occurred under the current, more stringent WADA rules, the question is why his case would be treated under the new Code, even if it is heard in front of the NRL anti-doping tribunal next year, which looks to be the likely timeline.

The answer lies in a principle that has been tested multiple times before the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) that will see an athlete given the lesser of two penalties should the laws change during the period it takes for the matter to appear before the relevant anti-doping panel.

"Technically, the 2021 Code only comes into play as of 1 January 2021," said Professor Jack Anderson, an expert in sports law at the University of Melbourne. "Strictly speaking, this means that any anti-doping rule violation case which is pending should be governed by the anti-doping rules in effect at the time the alleged rule violation occurred.

"However, under the new 2021 Code, the anti-doping panel would have the flexibility to hear the case under the 2021 Code by way of what the Code calls the principle of lex mitior... if the law relevant to the offence has been amended, the less severe law should be applied. This approach has been upheld many times at CAS.

"Given all of the above... and given the difference in severity between the old code and the new... he will be dealt with under the more flexible terms of the 2021 Code."

A one-month ban would be an extraordinary result for Naden given the far harsher sanction he would have faced should the alleged violation had taken place even weeks earlier. If he had faced the NRL anti-doping tribunal this year, he would have had almost no wiggle room when it comes to his time out of the sport.

But another anti-doping and sports integrity expert, Catherine Ordway from the University of Melbourne, said it may not be quite so cut and dry and the NRL panel could still take a firmer stance on Naden. Any finding from that panel can be appealed by Sport Integrity Australia should they be unsatisfied with the sanction.

"The legal position is the tribunal would be expected to take into the account those changes that have been made. So how they do that is another matter. They will be trying, I imagine, particularly if there is some evidence he has any sort of addiction, to bend over backwards to be as flexible as possible," Ordway said.

"You could also get a tribunal that says nope, hardline, you are under the 2020 code, you were aware of that code, you’re a role model and take a harder line. He’s rolling the dice in that sense."

Naden has followed the lead of some of the rugby league’s biggest names including Jarryd Hayne, Dylan Walker, Bronson Xerri, Trent Barrett and Shane Flanagan, in engaging Qutami.

Qutami, who has over 25 years of legal experience, has previously represented other high-profile clients including Israel Folau and Salim Mehajer.

On Thursday, Qutami was in court Wollongong Local Court to defend Tristan Sailor after the former Dragons player was charged with aggravated sexual assault. At the bail application hearing, Sailor was granted a bail variation to report to police three times a week instead of five.

 

[betcats]

I forgot about sailor. How good is the nrl looking atm, Hayne JDB and Sailor lol.

 

[Westernised Panther]

Completely off the topic of footy...

My missus and I lost our baby this week which has hit me really hard. She was 6 months along and I had just seen her on an ultrasound. To say I'm in a bad head space at the moment is an understatement.

Anyway, the reason I post about this is, I find writing my feelings in an artistic way really helped, and I wanted to share a poem I wrote in the early hours of the morning the night she passed.

I'm not a poetic person by any means (I like writing my fiction more) so please don't judge my capability, I just really felt the urge to write down my thoughts and this is how they came out.

I'm sharing with you guys because, as sad as it sounds on an internet forum, most of you I class as friends.

In short, hug your kids, and cherish every moment you spend with them.


Although we never met you, or got to kiss your cheeks,

Your presence was undeniable for those swift and precious weeks,

You were a gift my darling girl, one that was not expected,

And I dreamed of what you’d become, a picture of perfection,

You could have been a dancer, or a writer with a dream,

You could have been an actor, great in every scene,

Whatever you were meant to be, I know that I’d be proud,

The proudest dad you’d ever see, I’d never let you down,

But it wasn’t meant to be my sweet, you weren’t ready for this world,

And it kills me to say goodbye before I met my baby girl,

But you’re free to fly now angel, so spread those wings and soar,

Mummy and daddy both love you, and will forever more.

My condolences to you and your wife ACT

 

[Whino]

I forgot about sailor. How good is the nrl looking atm, Hayne JDB and Sailor lol.

Wendell looked like a gangster coming out of court yesterday. Wouldn't want to mess with him.

 

[Kilkenny]

Completely off the topic of footy...

My missus and I lost our baby this week which has hit me really hard. She was 6 months along and I had just seen her on an ultrasound. To say I'm in a bad head space at the moment is an understatement.

Anyway, the reason I post about this is, I find writing my feelings in an artistic way really helped, and I wanted to share a poem I wrote in the early hours of the morning the night she passed.

I'm not a poetic person by any means (I like writing my fiction more) so please don't judge my capability, I just really felt the urge to write down my thoughts and this is how they came out.

I'm sharing with you guys because, as sad as it sounds on an internet forum, most of you I class as friends.

In short, hug your kids, and cherish every moment you spend with them.


Although we never met you, or got to kiss your cheeks,

Your presence was undeniable for those swift and precious weeks,

You were a gift my darling girl, one that was not expected,

And I dreamed of what you’d become, a picture of perfection,

You could have been a dancer, or a writer with a dream,

You could have been an actor, great in every scene,

Whatever you were meant to be, I know that I’d be proud,

The proudest dad you’d ever see, I’d never let you down,

But it wasn’t meant to be my sweet, you weren’t ready for this world,

And it kills me to say goodbye before I met my baby girl,

But you’re free to fly now angel, so spread those wings and soar,

Mummy and daddy both love you, and will forever more.

Completely off the topic of footy...

My missus and I lost our baby this week which has hit me really hard. She was 6 months along and I had just seen her on an ultrasound. To say I'm in a bad head space at the moment is an understatement.

Anyway, the reason I post about this is, I find writing my feelings in an artistic way really helped, and I wanted to share a poem I wrote in the early hours of the morning the night she passed.

I'm not a poetic person by any means (I like writing my fiction more) so please don't judge my capability, I just really felt the urge to write down my thoughts and this is how they came out.

I'm sharing with you guys because, as sad as it sounds on an internet forum, most of you I class as friends.

In short, hug your kids, and cherish every moment you spend with them.


Although we never met you, or got to kiss your cheeks,

Your presence was undeniable for those swift and precious weeks,

You were a gift my darling girl, one that was not expected,

And I dreamed of what you’d become, a picture of perfection,

You could have been a dancer, or a writer with a dream,

You could have been an actor, great in every scene,

Whatever you were meant to be, I know that I’d be proud,

The proudest dad you’d ever see, I’d never let you down,

But it wasn’t meant to be my sweet, you weren’t ready for this world,

And it kills me to say goodbye before I met my baby girl,

But you’re free to fly now angel, so spread those wings and soar,

Mummy and daddy both love you, and will forever more.

So sorry to hear of your loss. Deepest condolences. The pain your family is suffering put’s everything around ‘footy’ in perspective. Your poem brings a tear to the eye, well done in what must be a terribly difficult time for your family.

 

[The_Frog]

No worries. I miscarriaged a pregnancy, however, it sounds like yours was more advanced. Life can be extremely cruel at times.

We had three of them before getting our little fellow by IVF. It's awful.

 

[franklin2323]

Completely off the topic of footy...

My missus and I lost our baby this week which has hit me really hard. She was 6 months along and I had just seen her on an ultrasound. To say I'm in a bad head space at the moment is an understatement.

Anyway, the reason I post about this is, I find writing my feelings in an artistic way really helped, and I wanted to share a poem I wrote in the early hours of the morning the night she passed.

I'm not a poetic person by any means (I like writing my fiction more) so please don't judge my capability, I just really felt the urge to write down my thoughts and this is how they came out.

I'm sharing with you guys because, as sad as it sounds on an internet forum, most of you I class as friends.

In short, hug your kids, and cherish every moment you spend with them.


Although we never met you, or got to kiss your cheeks,

Your presence was undeniable for those swift and precious weeks,

You were a gift my darling girl, one that was not expected,

And I dreamed of what you’d become, a picture of perfection,

You could have been a dancer, or a writer with a dream,

You could have been an actor, great in every scene,

Whatever you were meant to be, I know that I’d be proud,

The proudest dad you’d ever see, I’d never let you down,

But it wasn’t meant to be my sweet, you weren’t ready for this world,

And it kills me to say goodbye before I met my baby girl,

But you’re free to fly now angel, so spread those wings and soar,

Mummy and daddy both love you, and will forever more.

Sorry to hear that brother

 

[Jane Murray]

We had three of them before getting our little fellow by IVF. It's awful.

I only had one miscarriage, and fortunately, I did not need IVF. That is sad.

 

[The_Frog]

I only had one miscarriage, and fortunately, I did not need IVF. That is sad.

They say the vast majority of parents who have miscarriages go on to have a live birth. Once that happens the pain is almost forgotten.

 

[Jane Murray]

They say the vast majority of parents who have miscarriages go on to have a live birth. Once that happens the pain is almost forgotten.

Maybe. Miscarriages is completely different though in having to go through the processes carrying a bub, and the pain of giving birth, only having to bury that child. We both know that. Is your son your only child?

 

[The_Frog]

Maybe. Miscarriages is completely different though in having to go through the processes carrying a bub, and the pain of giving birth, only having to bury that child. We both know that. Is your son your only child?

No, I have 2 sons 25 years apart.