Mental Health

[Suitman]

My old man passed away earlier today
I had visited him twice yesterday and he seemed the same, just fatigued, sleeping a lot, talking very little.He didn't have any dinner, not that he was eating before, only a small bowl of soup most days, if that.
I helped him get more comfortable , and wished him good night around 8pm. This was the last time I would talk to him forever.
We got a call this morning that overnight things got bad with his breathing, today or tomorrow was going to be his last. We went and saw him in the morning and he looked bad, breathing badly and looked spaced out (horrible thing to see). We then had appointment with a funeral director, as we left me and mum hoped he would pass soon as he was suffering. Just before we entered the funeral parlour we got a call from the hospital that he was gone. After the funeral meeting was over we went back and sat with dad for a bit. There was relief he wasnt suffering anymore, but deep sadness also

Me and mum cried a bit but we will process things as best we can in the coming days and weeks and pull through somehow. Funeral is organised , just some odds and ends to sort out for that. Been very exhausting and depressing last few weeks.

Mate, I am so, so sorry to hear that. Sad news for you and your mum and your immediate family.
As you know, it was only a couple of months ago that I went through the same thing. It's tough.
Our dad's were our hero's.
Yet, you will get through it. It is inevitable that our parents will some day pass away. It doesn't make that time any easier to accept when it actually happens, but at the same time, just like your and my dad, we know when the time is inevitable at some stage.
I feel for you at this moment.
Just remember, your dad's funeral will be a celebration of his life.
It will be terribly sad, as I can see that you were close to him. At the same time, it is time to make his last passing day the best you and your family can.
Thinking of you.

 

[Twizzle]

Thank you to everybody for your kind and supportive words

Will be a bit hard early on, but we will pull through in time

you will mate, it just takes a bit of time

 

[The Silverdale Phantom]

Yep, it takes time and life isn’t the same, but other family helps a lot.

It’s more the sage advice I miss from dad, but you can can think about what he would do and honour his values.

Dad was a thinker, no knee-jerk reaction.

I think he had his cake and ate it in life without ripping anyone off.

Had some pet hates including pedos and was amazed at lenient sentences.

@hindy111 would have liked him as he always said to respect and offer visiting tradesman food and a drink. He said the gesture was important.

Every Xmas, some bottles of da would be left out for the garbos who picked up those metal bins.

 

[PARRA_FAN]

My old man passed away earlier today
I had visited him twice yesterday and he seemed the same, just fatigued, sleeping a lot, talking very little.He didn't have any dinner, not that he was eating before, only a small bowl of soup most days, if that.
I helped him get more comfortable , and wished him good night around 8pm. This was the last time I would talk to him forever.
We got a call this morning that overnight things got bad with his breathing, today or tomorrow was going to be his last. We went and saw him in the morning and he looked bad, breathing badly and looked spaced out (horrible thing to see). We then had appointment with a funeral director, as we left me and mum hoped he would pass soon as he was suffering. Just before we entered the funeral parlour we got a call from the hospital that he was gone. After the funeral meeting was over we went back and sat with dad for a bit. There was relief he wasnt suffering anymore, but deep sadness also

Me and mum cried a bit but we will process things as best we can in the coming days and weeks and pull through somehow. Funeral is organised , just some odds and ends to sort out for that. Been very exhausting and depressing last few weeks.

I'm so sorry to hear mate, my condolences go out to you.

 

[The Silverdale Phantom]

Not to stray too far from @TheParraboy’s terrible loss but we’ve been looking after a 6 year old kid as a favour for distant family.

Had him about a week.

He’s been running amok, more energy than a Tesla, little anarchist. He’s not deliberately naughty, he’s just full on zest for everything.

We have dogs but for some reason he’s quite taken by the cat. The cat has been enjoying the attention.

Little mate has been enjoying screaming and running around with glee at 10pm. A couple of those issues, but a kid to us.

I drive him home tomorrow, I’ve been amazed with his little happy outlook on life.

I am going to miss him, just his joy with things.

I love the fact that a lot of kids aren’t judgmental. Take and see things as they are, brutally honest.

 

[Eelementary]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, TPB.

 

[Eelementary]

I was recently diagnosed as being in the ASD spectrum.

It's a relief to know that there's a reason for my behaviour.

 

[Stevie]

My old man passed away earlier today
I had visited him twice yesterday and he seemed the same, just fatigued, sleeping a lot, talking very little.He didn't have any dinner, not that he was eating before, only a small bowl of soup most days, if that.
I helped him get more comfortable , and wished him good night around 8pm. This was the last time I would talk to him forever.
We got a call this morning that overnight things got bad with his breathing, today or tomorrow was going to be his last. We went and saw him in the morning and he looked bad, breathing badly and looked spaced out (horrible thing to see). We then had appointment with a funeral director, as we left me and mum hoped he would pass soon as he was suffering. Just before we entered the funeral parlour we got a call from the hospital that he was gone. After the funeral meeting was over we went back and sat with dad for a bit. There was relief he wasnt suffering anymore, but deep sadness also

Me and mum cried a bit but we will process things as best we can in the coming days and weeks and pull through somehow. Funeral is organised , just some odds and ends to sort out for that. Been very exhausting and depressing last few weeks.

I’m sorry I hadn’t seen this. Bloody tough times mate.
Your mum is lucky to have you. Not much anyone can say other than to offer my sincere condolences and hope you’re doing as well as possible.
Take good care of yourself mate. We care about you

 

[Stevie]

So sorry for your loss mate. Condolences and thoughts with your and your family.

My Dad is 80 later this year, and whilst he’s been “lucky” the dreadful C has never reared its head, his Parkinson’s is rapidly declining his mobility which for a man who couldn’t be stopped/lived his life on the go is so difficult to watch. Down with him in Sydney at the moment and taking him to the tigers game next week, but every time we say goodbye after a trip I worry it’s the last time. He’s survived Vietnam and a heart attack, but I think mentally the battle is being lost with the deterioration in his physical quality of life.

My wife and I are one of the far too many couples who have had to bury a child, so I know when the time comes for my parents to move on I’ll survive and handle it as I did for my son, but it doesn’t make it easy or less sad.

My absolute worst nightmare. Good on you being able to talk about it. You are more a man than I’d be i think. Much respect.

 

[the phantom menace]

I was recently diagnosed as being in the ASD spectrum.

It's a relief to know that there's a reason for my behaviour.

Knowing there's a lot of strategies and supports out there that have tried and tested by others in the spectrum can probably be a source of comfort and greater understanding.

The start of a positive journey, Eele!

 

[Gronk]

I was recently diagnosed as being in the ASD spectrum.

It's a relief to know that there's a reason for my behaviour.

It’s good that you know these things Eele. I’m know expert, but being on the spectrum is just about being a little different or being aware.

For what it’s worth there is a beautiful person in my circle who works for Aspect in a national position and I know he would be happy to either talk directly with you or put you in touch with a colleague. DM me any time.

Aspect Australia | Autism Spectrum Australia (Aspect)

a different brilliant ® understanding, engaging and celebrating the strengths, interests and aspirations of people on the autism spectrum

www.autismspectrum.org.au

 

[Eelementary]

It’s good that you know these things Eele. I’m know expert, but being on the spectrum is just about being a little different or being aware.

For what it’s worth there is a beautiful person in my circle who works for Aspect in a national position and I know he would be happy to either talk directly with you or put you in touch with a colleague. DM me any time.

Aspect Australia | Autism Spectrum Australia (Aspect)

a different brilliant ® understanding, engaging and celebrating the strengths, interests and aspirations of people on the autism spectrum

www.autismspectrum.org.au

I've struggled with being so different, for so, so long - my brain is wired differently, I panic (literally) when meeting new people...

It's a relief to know that it's because my brain is just wired differently.

It's been a struggle for me for more than 20 years, snd I've tried to get diagnosed, and been told I wouldn't be on the spectrum.

I finally found a psychologist who took my concerns seriously, he gave me the questionnaires to fill out, and a clinical diagnosis ensued.

I feel relieved, finally.

 

[Rocket man]

I've struggled with being so different, for so, so long - my brain is wired differently, I panic (literally) when meeting new people...

It's a relief to know that it's because my brain is just wired differently.

It's been a struggle for me for more than 20 years, snd I've tried to get diagnosed, and been told I wouldn't be on the spectrum.

I finally found a psychologist who took my concerns seriously, he gave me the questionnaires to fill out, and a clinical diagnosis ensued.

I feel relieved, finally.

I would like to meet up with any of you.
We all have something in common.
Go Parra!

 

[hineyrulz]

I've struggled with being so different, for so, so long - my brain is wired differently, I panic (literally) when meeting new people...

It's a relief to know that it's because my brain is just wired differently.

It's been a struggle for me for more than 20 years, snd I've tried to get diagnosed, and been told I wouldn't be on the spectrum.

I finally found a psychologist who took my concerns seriously, he gave me the questionnaires to fill out, and a clinical diagnosis ensued.

I feel relieved, finally.

Hope you are well brother, and I hope this news can help you. You are an absolute gentleman and easily one of the best posters in the whole of LU.

 

[hineyrulz]

And I don’t venture into the thread often but I’m very sorry to learn of your dads passing @TheParraboy.

I know when I lost my dad how tough it is, I hope you and your family are doing well.

 

[Eelementary]

I would like to meet up with any of you.
We all have something in common.
Go Parra!

I've cancelled quite a few times, because I've had huge panic attacks.

Depression, plus ASD, is an awful combination.

 

[Eelementary]

Hope you are well brother, and I hope this news can help you. You are an absolute gentleman and easily one of the best posters in the whole of LU.

Thank you very much - you are very kind!

It's a huge relief to know that I can learn to process things better.

 

[TheParraboy]

And I don’t venture into the thread often but I’m very sorry to learn of your dads passing @TheParraboy.

I know when I lost my dad how tough it is, I hope you and your family are doing well.

Cheers mate, yeah pretty tough. We all eventually get to suffer or grieve

Appreciate everyone's comments, it means a lot.

I mowed the lawn on Thursday, and a couple of times I looked up to where dad would normally be slowly walking around, occasionally (and very slowly) he would bend down to get rid of a loose grass root or two that was starting to grow on the concrete pathway. I did start crying , it hit me hard that I wont see him again. Only time will ease this and make it less frequent than it is.

 

[Eelementary]

Cheers mate, yeah pretty tough. We all eventually get to suffer or grieve

Appreciate everyone's comments, it means a lot.

I mowed the lawn on Thursday, and a couple of times I looked up to where dad would normally be slowly walking around, occasionally (and very slowly) he would bend down to get rid of a loose grass root or two that was starting to grow on the concrete pathway. I did start crying , it hit me hard that I wont see him again. Only time will ease this and make it less frequent than it is.

I'm so sorry, mate.

If you need someone to talk to, I'm here - as I'm sure everyone else here is.

I wish you my deepest condolences.

 

[Suitman]

Cheers mate, yeah pretty tough. We all eventually get to suffer or grieve

Appreciate everyone's comments, it means a lot.

I mowed the lawn on Thursday, and a couple of times I looked up to where dad would normally be slowly walking around, occasionally (and very slowly) he would bend down to get rid of a loose grass root or two that was starting to grow on the concrete pathway. I did start crying , it hit me hard that I wont see him again. Only time will ease this and make it less frequent than it is.

Time will heal your sorrow mate.
I have memories similar to yours, with dad doing stuff like that.

I have been visiting Mum and Dad at the nursing home for the past 4 years, and they both always sat in their favorite chairs in their room.
Most recently, I have been visiting just Mum, after Dad's passing. I sit in my same spot as I always have, and it is just not the same not seeing dad sitting next to mum on the lounge in their room. I still struggle to believe he is gone after my 58 years on this earth. Yet, with every visit, I come to accept it further in some minute way.
I just pretend that he is there. I picture him sitting there. That helps because it will always be one of my everlasting memories of him. He was blind and dementia ridden, and his part of our conversations over his last few years were tiresome. It wasn't hard to stay patient with him though, and just repeat the same things we had discussed, time after time, during every visit. It is what it is and dad had no control over his condition. I always hugged him or shook his hand at every visit.
But 'till the day he died, he remained such a sweet, loving, brave and caring man.
I will forever be in awe of him. As I am sure you will be of your dad.

Hang in there.