My attempt at a serious thread

[Dani]

im in love with someone i know ill never be with, and i cant seem to get over it, which is pretty painful thing day to day, and i thought that was vad but its nothing compaired to what here have been through

HAH!
Can totally sympathise with that.

 

[Schillaci]

I've had my fair share of prozac in the past. U just have to battle on.

 

[Johns Magic]

im in love with someone i know ill never be with, and i cant seem to get over it, which is pretty painful thing day to day, and i thought that was vad but its nothing compaired to what here have been through

If you don't mind me asking, what makes you say you'lll never be with them? Don't answer if you don't want to.

 

[Raider_69]

If you don't mind me asking, what makes you say you'lll never be with them? Don't answer if you don't want to.

i know she doesnt feel the same way about me, i know this because she is in the exact same position im in, she's in love with an ex of hers, which is why she ended it with me.

 

[Johns Magic]

i know she doesnt feel the same way about me, i know this because she is in the exact same position im in, she's in love with an ex of hers, which is why she ended it with me.

Tough luck mate, that'd kill me.

My girlfriend recently broke up with me, and it was shocking because i still really liked her. But i never gave up hope, and lo and behold, a month later she realised she didn't want to be with any guy but me. Now we're stronger than ever.

Love's a funny thing. Nothing's definite, unless you say it is.

 

[Phillips]

i wish i knew what love is

 

[Mike Ockiserect]

dani you have a lot of guts and character to admit this kidn of thing, and with personality traits like that im sure you can go extremely far in life - you're well on your way to breaking out of your rut, that's for sure

 

[Raider_69]

Tough luck mate, that'd kill me.

My girlfriend recently broke up with me, and it was shocking because i still really liked her. But i never gave up hope, and lo and behold, a month later she realised she didn't want to be with any guy but me. Now we're stronger than ever.

Love's a funny thing. Nothing's definite, unless you say it is.

its not easy, thats for sure, especially since as it stands we are best friends so i spend alot of time with her (actually going out tonight with her and some other friends) but if her love for him is half as much as mine is for her, then its a write off in the foreseeable future, it sucks but i try not to dwell on it, as it only makes me miserable... the worst isnt that i cant be with her, its that i know that she's miserable like me, i think i could deal with it if she was with someone who made her happy, i mean i would still be completely gutted by the situation but i could at least sleep soundly knowing she was happy, but alas she's miserable like me

 

[shark_girl]

I know exactly what Dani has gone through, because I have been through it all my self. I have been through two very bad boughts of depression, both of which took alot to get out of. One was during high school, where I was at boarding school, the other was just this year, when my boyfriend dumped me for my friend.

Both of these times, my insecurities pushed me to the edge, and I was suicidal. But I have dragged my self out of them, and made changes to my life. I have lost 26 kgs this year, and changed my self completely. But inside I'm still the same person. My friends and family still love me just the same, and I've come to realise that I am actually ok. I've since met a great guy who likes me for me, and who doesn't care what I look like, and I know I'm going to be ok.

People have to realise that they are great no matter what they do, or what they look like. These things don't define a person. It's the person on the inside that determines them, not the artificial bullsh*t that every one else sees.

I'm not sorry for those times in my life when I cried myself to sleep, and could hardly get out of bed because I was so depressed. They have made me who I am, made me stronger, and more compassionate, and have made me realise that I am actually ok. A couple of people I have met along the way helped alot, and if I had not gone through those time, I would not have realised how great those people were.

Remember, What does not kill you only makes you stronger. So do not let it kill you, Grab it with both hands, and make your self stronger. I learnt this, and I've never been happier

 

[NGR]

Mighty Panther, i have been medicated in the past and i hated it. I didn't know about the sunlight thing, but i have noticed that since i've been going for regular daily walks, just around the neighbourhood, i have been feeling a lot better. My dad has been diagnosed with depression before, but i think he may be bipolar, but its such a hard subject to bring up.

Bazal, your post made me cry. As did writing my own for that matter. I can't imagine going through anything like that.
You must be such a strong person.

dani, my advice is DO NOT SMOKE MARAJUANA, even if you never have or ever will, if your dad has depression and bipolar, smoking weed will trigger it in you...
btw, it takes courage to do what you have just done, maybe now youve tried it here, you could tell a close friend or someone your close too...

 

[Nikki]

I've had my fair share of prozac in the past. U just have to battle on.

I hit my lowest for the first time in a long time this year.. They had to put me back on the meds for a couple of months. Last time I was on em was when I was 16. This time was a culmination of it being my b'day and it had been 10 years that my Father turned his back on me, still for reasons I dont know. Plus my Mum had been really sick and we couldnt work out why (have later found out she has Cancer) and alot of other sh*t.. I realised I needed to get help when a mate of mine, who I had tried to turn to for help, told me to get over it coz he was sick of hearing my sh*t. Whilst it jolted me awake, it could have easily turned the other way. I dont recommend anyone ever using those words to someone..

Baz, Im really sorry to hear what you have gone thru.. I lost my BF to a drink driver back when we were 16/17. Cant imagine what it would have been like to have been next to him tho.

TMP, my heart truely breaks for you.

And Dani, good on you for starting this thread.. It has bought me to tears, but tears are sometimes good..

 

[Dani]

I too have been bought to tears a few times reading this.
I have not told any of my friends for the same reason Nikki, i feel like a burden and i feel like they wouldn't care. Thats sort of why i wrote that, i needed to get it out.

Reading some of the stories in this thread makes my suffering seem trivial, i'm alive, im (sort of) healthy, but that doesn't take the suffering away.

I was doing so well at the start of this year but i can see myself falling back into the old cycle.
But the past few days i feel like im falling to the lowest point that i have been this year. I'm a proud person and admiting i need help is so hard for me.

I don't care if no one reads my posts or is just thinking God Dani shut the f**k up, but i feel like i have no one to talk to and just writing things out helps so much.

 

[Knightmare]

I know these sound like nothing compared to some people's posts on here, but here goes:

1. I can't help but feel kind of envious when people on here (guys and girls) post their pics up and people comment on how good they look. I haven't got a clue how to post pics on here so obviously that's a hindrance, but even if I could, with what I've written here, I can't shake the feeling that people would say I looked good out of sympathy. I would f**king loathe that. I would love to be like some of the people here on the FFB, who get compliments out of complete honesty, with no agenda whatsoever.

2. Last night I was lying in bed and I flashed back to this night back in 1999 when I stayed over at my mate Sam's place. We were both in Year 8, we talked about chicks nearly non-stop- who was hot, chicks we knew that'd be awesome to get with, where we'd take them if we went on a date- stuff like that. We stayed up till the early hours while all these 60's songs played over the radio in the background. Since then we've both moved from where we were living back then, Sam lives in Sydney and I'm in Brisbane now and (obviously) we're older and we've hooked in with our fair share of chicks, but last night as I lay there I would've given anything just to go back to that night and live it out again.

This leads me to say that I think about stuff from the past a fair bit, and I kind of hate it that I'm probably the only one who remembers this stuff, and with every year that goes on, all those memories get older and more stuff changes and becomes less relevant to where everyone is now. There's this song where the chorus goes "Being grown up/ Isn't quite as fun as growing up" and I'm starting to think that's true. It feels kind of lonely, knowing that I'm probably the only one of my mates or anybody I know who still thinks about this stuff.

 

[Nikki]

Well you know where we are Dani..

TBH, I started postin in here about the same time I was goin thru everything.. I just needed new ppl and to get away from the norm of the Parra Forums... And im glad I did

Im even feelin strong enuff to take myself away for a couple of days next month.. Its just 2 nights up the coast, but enuff to relax and recharge the batteries..

Findin a guy is still a bit o an issue with me.. But I figure if I start to love myself then I will find someone that can also love me (easier said than done tho.. :? )

 

[shark_girl]

Trust me Nikki...it will happen. I used to be sooo down on myself, its no wonder my ex dumped me, but then I started to realise I was ok, and got more confident. Next thing, BAM, he walked through the door, and blew me away.....

If it can happen too me then you have nothing to worry about.

 

[Dani]

Findin a guy is still a bit o an issue with me.. But I figure if I start to love myself then I will find someone that can also love me (easier said than done tho.. :? )

I have said the same thing quite a few times. No one's gonna love me untill i love myself first.

And Knightmare, as i said in my post, your feelings might seem trivial comepared to others, but it doesn't mean the hurting stops.

 

[Knightmare]

You're right there Nikki. There was this peroid back in 2002 where I felt so low. It's a long story, but basically I felt like I'd stuffed up my life and I was no chance of fixing it up. I was also lonely, I really wanted a girlfriend and I had a hang-up about being single. Looking back, I think I must've been so unloveable with the attitude I had. Funny thing is, after I got out of that phase and started being more fun, the dates began to pile in. I'd laugh to myself and think "Man, back when I was in Year 11 I would've KILLED for this!"

 

[Knightmare]

I have said the same thing quite a few times. No one's gonna love me untill i love myself first.

And Knightmare, as i said in my post, your feelings might seem trivial comepared to others, but it doesn't mean the hurting stops.

It's not really hurting. I guess the biggest thing for me is, if most people on here met me in real life with no knowledge that the guy they were talking to was THE Knightmare on here, they'd come away thinking (most likely) that I'm a friendly, mature, outgoing, morally strong guy who had it together. People I know generally seem to think that about me, which makes me laugh. If only they knew what I thought more often. You guys should check out www.notproud.com - it's a site full of anonymous posts like these, that fall under the 7 deadly sins. It gets pretty addictive, I've made quite a few posts under the various catagories there myself.

 

[Nikki]

One thing that has held me back to (and i know it sounds sooo silly especially this many years on) my BF, who I was madly in love with, dies right. So technically, we never "broke up". So I sometimes feel like I am betraying him if Im with other guys.. I know written in words it sounds crazy, but I just have that lil thought in the back of my mind..

 

[Jono Russell]

how could anyone not love you Nikki