My attempt at a serious thread

[Nikki]

It's not really hurting. I guess the biggest thing for me is, if most people on here met me in real life with no knowledge that they guy they were talking to was THE Knightmare on here, they'd come away thinking (most likely) that I'm a friendly, mature, outgoing, morally strong guy who had it together. People I know generally seem to think that about me, which makes me laugh. If only they knew what I thought more often. You guys should check out www.notproud.com - it's a site full of anonymous posts like these, that fall under the 7 deadly sins. It gets pretty addictive, I've made quite a few posts under various catagories there myself.

Same, ppl are always saying how much I smile and laugh etc, and I can only refer it to "Tears of a Clown"

Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there trying to fool the public
But when it comes down to fooling you
Now honey that's quite a different subject

But don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Cos really I'm sad, Oh I'm sadder than sad
Well I'm hurt and I want you so bad
Like a clown I appear to be glad ooh yeah

CHORUS:

Well they're some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown when there's noone around
Oh yeah, baby baby, oh yeah baby baby

Now if I appear to be carefree
It's only to camouflage my sadness
And honey to shield my pride I try
To cover this hurt with a show of gladness
But don't let my show convince you
That I've been happy since you
Cos I need to go, oh I need you so
Look I'm hurt and I want you to know
For others I put on a show ...CHORUS

Just like Pagliacci did
I try to keep my surface hid
Smiling in the crowd I try
But in a lonely room I cry
The tears of a clown
When there's noone around, oh yeah, baby baby
Now if there's a smile on my face
Don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Don't let this smile I wear
Make you think that I don't care
Cos really I'm sad...

This is one of my all time fave songs.. Esp Caligulas version

 

[Knightmare]

Nah I know what you mean. Not that I'd go with either of them, but if I HAD to choose a widowed woman or a divorced woman, I'd go the divorced woman. If I married the widow I'd always feel like I was sharing her with another man and that she saw me the same way you see a replacement light bulb- only there because the last one died.

 

[Nikki]

how could anyone not love you Nikki

See there is a difference between ppl loving me, (which im sure some do) and ppl being "in" love with me.. But I am probably as much of a culprit in this.. If a guy gets too close emotionally I'll be the one to back away or push them away before I get hurt.. So its a vicious cycle.. lol..

 

[Jono Russell]

See there is a difference between ppl loving me, (which im sure some do) and ppl being "in" love with me.. But I am probably as much of a culprit in this.. If a guy gets too close emotionally I'll be the one to back away or push them away before I get hurt.. So its a vicious cycle.. lol..

I reakon you a f**king awsome chick in everyway.

 

[Nikki]

hahahaha.. You say that now.. Wait til you meet me!!

 

[Nikki]

I just expect too much from ppl. Thats my problem.. I live in a fantasy world and when ppl dont follow the script I get the sh*ts!!

 

[Jono Russell]

Oh i cant wait

 

[Jono Russell]

I done teen suicide study and worked in a drop in centre for 2 years.

 

[Eelementary]

Believe it or not, i have very little self confidence. I decided to make this thread so people can share their own experiences to relative strangers, cause sometimes they are the easiest people to tell.

I've suffered depression for most of my teens. I have gone through phases of extreme highs and extreme, extreme lows. Suicide has crossed my mind more than once. For so much of my life, i have felt like nothing.

Depression caused me to bomb out in my year 12 exams pretty badly (i wasn't sleeping, bad bad migraines and things like that) but since then, i've vowed to turn my life around. Get myself out of this rut i am in.

I have to thankmy high school 'friends' for being such utter bitches, or i never would have 'grown a pair' and started to stand up for myself.

Slowly, but surely, i am convincing myself that i do have something to offer and i'm learning how to take compliments and things like that.

It's so hard to change behaviour, but i'm glad i'm getting there. These days i sleep a little better and the migraines are far less worse than they used to be.

I guess i just wanted to share, share your own stories or offer advice.

Or make jokes at me, whatever.

That took a lot of guts, Dani.

Here's my story (albeit nice and short):

Accidents, injuries, getting dumped, family and friends drifting away...

I was in a real dark place for a long, long time. I never quite contemplated suicide, but I thought to myself, "f**k...I'm 21 years old...I've got my whole life ahead of me...And I can honestly say, I'm scared, and I am NOT looking forward to it..."

Took a massive slap in the face from a friend to wake me up. He said (he sent me an e-mail, as he was overseas; to this day I keep it with me):

Man...Look at yourself. You have friends that love you, bro. You have a family that, although at times they judge you and feel they are better than you, they STILL love you unconditionally - and you know that. You got dumped real bad by the girl you loved - there are what, like 6 billion people on the planet? Assuming that you can divide into 4 equal categories of men, women, boys and girls...Well, that leaves 1.5 billion women in the world. ONE dumped you. Take Australia - 20 million people in this country, man. Assuming the same, that's 5 million...Out of which merely one dumped your ass, man. Yeha - it sucks. I've been there, man. You know Ellie [his at the time fiance] dumped me the day before my wedding...You saw me at my lowest point in life...And I must say, it wasn't pretty. But remember what you told me? "Dude, you have friends that care for you, a family that would do anything for you and a job you love...The world is at your feet." Believe it or not, bro, that got me through my darkest hour. So what I'm saying to you, Mick, is this, man - sure, you got dumped; sure, you hate your job; sure, you have no plans for your future; sure, you can't play sport because you keep injuring yourself; and sure, your friends and family sometimes give you a hard time. But man...Is any of that REALLY that unique? Are you the only man in the world going through that sh*t? Hell no, brother. There are plenty of people going through the same sh*t, and they're getting through it. I don't know them personally - but I DO know you, and let me tell you something, man...You're the best bloke I've ever met, man. If a bunch of nobodies can get over their problems, so can you, bro - because you're better than them, you know? Man, you just have to realise that you're value to your family and friends...It's enormous. You can't put a value on that sh*t, bro. That means you mean a lot to a lot of people - means you're doing something right, bro. Just hang in there - things will get better. I know it, man. Just don't let the bad guys win, rilla.

I always read that when I'm feeling down, and (at least to me), he makes some good points.

 

[Dani]

So i'm bumping this thread cause, well i got the job that i didn't think i got (they were over 2 weeks late calling me to tell me). I'm so excited.
It seems that after i made this thread, things in my life did a complete 180. Things still aren't 100%, cause it's not just something that can be turned on and off, but it's starting to look up and i couldn't be happier.
Now that i have a job i will be able to go out and do things, therefore spending time with 'friends' one thing i have really missed.

Anyway, i wanted to thank those that just let me whinge and thanks those who offered their own stories even more.

 

[Frederick]

Great to hear, Dani

 

[Timmah]

:-s There's only 3 pages in this thread... :?

I was actually about to bump this thread when I went back trawling for the Pic Thread...

RE: the topic. Can I just say I don't think there's such a thing as a fixed state of happiness we're all destined to reach, I think there's parts of our life journeys that will be filled with joy, sure, but it's about maintaining a standard of living, accepting that good comes with bad, and keeping going no matter what.

Wayyyy too philosophical but that's what I believe. You'll always get glimpses of perfection, but you'll never attain that perfect happiness... and in a way i think that's the beauty of life.

 

[Timmah]

And although I think I already may have..



Congrats Dani. You deserve some good news

 

[Dani]

Thanks!

 

[Nikki]

Great news on the job Dani! I notice that once you get things off your chest things start to get better coz it was your problems that were making you down in the first place. Its just finding the most comfortable place to voice your problems. Glad you could feel that we would listen and help you along.

 

[Timmah]

Well said Nikki... sometimes you find comfort in the most unusual places

 

[[furrycat]]

Like my pants!

 

[[furrycat]]

... It had to be said.

Although I agree entirely with the serious comment

 

[Timmah]

*finds comfort in furry's pants*

:|

 

[Dani]

*finds nothing in Furry's pants*