The 2013/2014 Off Season Thread

[Poupou Escobar]

Listen here merkin if I can get through one of your long winded diatribes educating the merkins on this site I can get through a book.

Especially one that has dragons, imps, incest and betrayal.

Mate, if dwarfs aren't rooting each other they're wasting my time.

 

[Barry O'Speedwagon]

What is it with best selling fantasy writing? I finally finished Lord of the Rings last year and it was excruciating. Endless descriptions of terrain, everything happening at a snail's pace, and wooden characters spouting stilted dialogue. I understand that people spoke differently in the olden days, but Middle Earth isn't Iron Age Europe, and even if it was, merkins spoke colloquially 3000 years ago.

A lot of the time it seems the 'story' is just an excuse to show off the amazing imaginary place the writer thought up. Like a travel documentary for nerds.

Yeh, I've started Lord of the Rings about 3 times, and get sick of it at about page 150.

I don't mind some of Pratchett's stuff....he's at least got a bit of a sense of humour.

To each their own I guess.

 

[The EELiminator]

A lot of the time it seems the 'story' is just an excuse to show off the amazing imaginary place the writer thought up. Like a travel documentary for nerds.

and as soon as the characters arrive in said magical land they are invited around to a total stranger's house for tea luckily they always seem to have enough food for sixty people just lying around in the pantry always with 'lashings of cream' without a cow to be seen anywhere

 

[Noise]

Agree with Pou on lord of the rings. I read it ages ago but found myself skimming entire paragraphs where that Tolkien merkin was trying to describe some magical woodland. It's a forest merkin, we know what they look like!

I've tried reading the hobbit a few times too. Can't get past the first chapter of two. So slow.

 

[The EELiminator]

I've tried reading the hobbit a few times too. Can't get past the first chapter of two. So slow.

plus every merkin and their dog is singing every 10 pages you'd think it was a musical

 

[Poupou Escobar]

Actually I thought the Hobbit was good, if a bit whimsical. Probably because it's a children's book and faster paced. There is a lot less back story to churn through during breaks in the real story.

 

[The EELiminator]

if you guys think the hobbit and lord of the rings are hard to read try the silmarillion sometime its like chinese algebra compared to the other two

 

[Poupou Escobar]

I read the Silmarillion in 2012 and I loved it. It actually was all of the LotR back story laid out as a series of short stories. The flat characterisation didn't detract like in LotR because most of the characters are actual mythical figures, and it was well paced.

 

[Gronk]

Fatty O'Barrell tells ICAC that he doesn't recall being gifted a $3,000 bottle of Grange.

HmmmOK. :sarcasm:

 

[Poupou Escobar]

I don't usually remember the exact details of everything I drank either Gronk.

 

[Gary Gutful]

He is too small now to be called Fatty O' Barrell.

 

[hineyrulz]

Mate, if dwarfs aren't rooting each other they're wasting my time.

Thats in book 5 :shock:

 

[Gronk]

I don't usually remember the exact details of everything I drank either Gronk.

You might struggle to recall how many breezers you had after a big night in,Pou, but I would remember knocking the top off a 1959 grange.

 

[Barry O'Speedwagon]

He is too small now to be called Fatty O' Barrell.

That's why I changed my name to O'Speedwagon.

 

[Hollywood Jesus]

Thats in book 5 :shock:

Have you read them all, hiney?

If so, who do you think is going to win?

My current pick in the spoilers below.

Spoiler: 1

Personally, I'm going for a Stannis/Sansa combo.

 

[Noise]

I havent read it but i reckon it's gotta be a Stark..

either Bran (the kid who's legs don't work)

or Aria (his sister)

 

[hineyrulz]

Have you read them all, hiney?

If so, who do you think is going to win?

My current pick in the spoilers below.

Spoiler: 1

Personally, I'm going for a Stannis/Sansa combo.

I'm hoping for a Stark but who knows what Martin will do, Stannis might be a smokey. It won't be a Lannister thats for sure.

 

[Poupou Escobar]

Jon Snow will turn out to be a Baratheon. Didn't Robert have a sister?

 

[The EELiminator]

i dont think any of them will win in the end lannisters are on top right now but i'm betting that will change hopefully with that little turd joffrey copping a faceful of dragonfire

 

[Maroubra Eel]

What the f**k are you twinkies going on about.