The Man Thread

[Misanthrope]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you've already told the bitch twice.

 

[Stranger]

Tongue Twister
A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He immediately notices that the guy next to him also has a black eye.

He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence: we both have black eyes. Mind if I ask how you got yours?"

So the guy tells him: "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident, sort of. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the biggest breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying: I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh, I said: I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh." "She socked me one."

The first guy responded, "Mine was a tongue twister too."
"I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife: Please pour me a bowl of Corn Flakes, but I accidentally said: You ruined my life, you lousy bitch.''
________________________________

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider.

 

[Stranger]

Why do brides wear white?
Makes sence for the dishwasher to match the oven and the fridge.

 

[IanG]

"I'm trying to cheer her up you stupid craut" - Basil Fawlty

 

[RABK]

Ian your quotes are terrible.

 

[IanG]

"Comedy Is Not Pretty" - Rodney Rude
"I Must Be A Lesbian Because I Love Women" - Billy Connolly
"F**k Handsome Rich Wins" - Billy Connolly
"It's Not A Mini Anymore It's A Largie it's A Biggie" - Ben Elton

 

[Misanthrope]

And most aren't even particularly manly

 

[Stranger]

Not all women are annoying. Some are dead.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[les norton]

That is a terrible thing to say Benny!!!!

 

[Misanthrope]

:lol: :lol: :crazy: :lol: :lol:

That's hilarious, Benny. I love it

 

[The_Joey_Show]

Benny, that is shocking! Even by your standards...

Isn't there a fake signing article somwhere that needs to be written?

 

[IanG]

Seeing as this started as a quote thread I have another couple

"Your about as much use as a condom machine in the vatican" - Arnold Rimmer

"About as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike"

 

[rock_on_knights]

Not all women are annoying. Some are dead.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Ben, that was TERRIBLE!

 

[Stranger]

:lol::lol::lol:

Benny, that is shocking! Even by your standards...

Isn't there a fake signing article somwhere that needs to be written?

:crazy: :crazy:

 

[Big Tim]

What do you do when a woman's watch stops working?


Nothing, there's a clock on the oven.

 

[rock_on_knights]

WORST THREAD EVER

:lol:

 

[Parki]

best thread ever

 

[Big Tim]

WORST THREAD EVER

:lol:

Its called the man thread....

If you dont like it.... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Tell the truth... you secretly love it!

 

[Misanthrope]

Why is rok even in here? Don't you have meals to cook or clothes to wash? ;-)

 

[Whats Doing]

Why do men die before women??

Because they want to!!